Author:
Amoury
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Date Posted: 18:48:37 09/04/05 Sun
>
>Wouldn't it be so hot if he was gay? I can totally see
>him sleeping with a guy... oh wow, the mental images.
Very much agreed.
In the meantime, *bangs head on wall*. Are you people serious? I mean, REALLY serious? I've heard of fangirling but holy carp. This message board is swarming with inane psychobabble. If I were Elijah and I came across this board, I'd put about seventeen more locks on my door. Either that or go blind with the horrid grammar, misspellings, and general non-sensical blabbering. Here's a few tips that might spare poor Elijah, should he ever read this:
~Run on sentences do NOT turn ANYONE on. The ; ,.!?: '"( ) keys are there for a reason. Writing a paragraph sized sentence is flipping painful to read.
~Stop typing like you're yelling and hyperventilating. That is so annoying. The whole "OMG I LUV ELIJAH WOOD HE IS #1 HOTTTTT I WANNA RAPE HIM", believe it or not, will probably make him cower in the corner.
~Just because he is hot and you really LIKE-LIKE him doesn't mean he's not gay. If he is, he is. Frankly I think he's delicious either way. I don't think it's sick at all. In fact, it's downright beautiful.
~If you type like I've described in my first few points and you're over the age of 18, please seek help. If you are under the age of 15 and type like this, please seek help. If you are under the age of 15 and type like a God, Elijah STILL won't date you.
~Hey, guess what? If Elijah is shtooping every guy in town, he really couldn't give a fig on what anyone here thinks about it. He's probably laughing his arse off about it all. I don't see him sobbing and weeping pathetically.
~Hey, guess what? If you DEFEND him by either saying 'he's not gay, he's HOTTT', he STILL won't date you. Especially if he's both.
~As it was said in "Space Balls": "Welcome to real...life!!" Elijah Wood will not date any of you. Sorry. He's got things to do, and it doesn't include fullfilling the Mary-Sue fantasies of an idiot pubescent.
~I think the biggest point to make of all is that he is a fine actor, the best of our generation, IMHO. He is a talented, good-hearted soul who doesn't deserve to be talked about like this. No one does, really, whether you're a somebody or a nobody. I will honestly admit that if he showed up at my door right now, I'd be the happiest person alive. But he won't. And that's okay, 'cause see... I'm not a friggin' whackjob that comes online like nearly everyone else has here to claim my undying devotion to someone who may as well be a fictional character in the scope of things.
I didn't even act like this when i had my crush on Michael J. Fox back when I was nine years old. If my nine-year-old persona was more mature than you people, then I hold a lot of pity for ya. That was 20 years ago. I'm very glad the internet wasn't 'round in 1985. I'd puke.
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