READ THIS RESPONSE (the above post is glued together--FUCKING P.C.) -- The Movie Board

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Subject: READ THIS RESPONSE (the above post is glued together--FUCKING P.C.)

Author:
Jimmy

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Date Posted: 05:46:39 01/22/08 Tue
Author Host/IP: c-71-197-21-7.hsd1.mi.comcast.net/71.197.21.7
In reply to: Jimmy 's message, "I'M THE DEVIL I CAN DO WHAT I WANT; WHATEVER I'VE GOT I'M GONNA FLAUNT" on 05:35:33 01/22/08 Tue

"Cult films rarely create themselves anymore. They already have an audience. And if you are a member, then Tenacious D: In The Pick of Destiny might become as beholden to you as Rocky Horror is to drag queens, and people who like to throw rice and squirt spray bottles at each other at midnight screenings. Or just in general."

I've never seen the show but you turned us all onto Black. Now, I can see why because here he is at his best.

"For the record, my D-Love goes back, thus I find it impossible to review this movie objectively."

There's no need to brag.

"If I could review it objectively, I would have to give a fairly lukewarm review. Minimal plot, combined with episodic skits that seem sometimes padded out to get this flick to 90 minutes, directed haltingly by Liam Lynch, from a story that sometimes makes zero sense. But it was imaginative and often funny. It would have been ninety minutes of forgettable fun with a couple of good tunes."

WRONG!!! They are able to capture that Huckabee sense of wonder and possibility in a world that encourages clear-cut answers that deliver security. The story makes TOTAL sense. They are believers. They could have overdone this but Black never goes overboard with it probably because he can relate.

"But Tenacious D occupies a special place in the burnt out shell of my soul. They are an entity only America could have produced;"

LMAO!!! You are totally right!!! That is probably the reason I LOVE this movie so much only I never realized it til now. I believe in the American Dream and no matter how cynical or depressed I become I continue to do so. I'm a part of the fabric of it and so is this movie.

"...they are a testament that the skinny straight man to the fat funny guy comedic formula can, in fact, be expanded to two fat guys, they are this generations Cheech and Chong but funnier, they are a cultural tent pole that segregates guys like me from 90 percent of polite (some might say "grown up") society, and they are the greatest band in the fucking world. Period."

Well, since you're choosing to make it all about yourself I'll only respond to the assertion that they are the greatest band in the world. Assumming you're not running with their flippant hyperbole and are, in fact, serious, I have to challenge you based on the point that they are a spoof who realizes they're not good enough so they have to infuse humor by mocking their shortcomings. Assuming THAT is what you find so appealing is one thing, but to say they are the greatest band of all-time simply based on their music IS RI-GODDAMN-DICULOUS!!!

Foo Fighters is the greatest band of all-time because Grohl combines the serious side of Cobain with his own angry humor. The results are pure awe and God is behind the Foo. To suggest He is not makes me want to slit throats. And I'll do it.

"I may pepper criticisms in this thing but they don't matter. This flick gets 10 out of 10, so if you want to skip the rest of this and just go buy this movie, get fucked up on any (or all) substances, and be tortured for weeks because you can't get Master Exploder out of your head for five fucking seconds at a time, then feel free to move on. I will understand. "

YEAH!!! It was OnDemand for an entire month and I would get liquored up and watch the end Over-and-Over.

"The Flick

JB (Jack Black, playing Jack Black as JB) is a downtrodden kid with a guitar and a dream of creating the greatest rock band in the world. He lives in Kickapoo, Missouri with his ultra religious family, headed evangelically by his father Meat Loaf (no shit)."

Evangelicals make the sign of the cross now? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!! They were Catholics, you fucking meathead. They had a cross on the wall. Catholic families instill the same virtues when it comes to rock. My old man not only spanked me but wouldn't let me watch MTV and one time drunkenly banned all Motley Crue tapes while permitting Bon Jovi.

I fought him viciously over this and began crying. SO FUCK YOU for saying they aren't Catholics.

"When JB starts ripping out songs about fuckalizing dragons and fucking back the fuckers while sucking choads in the party zone, Meat Loaf beats his ass, tears down all his sweet rock god posters telling him his brother is 10 times better, and that Jables will most certainly burn in Hell."

That opening scene is second only to the showdown at the end.

"Fortunately, when the door slams shut, the Ronnie James Dio poster on the back comes to life and tells JB to find the land of Hollywood, where he will form a strong alliance and the world's most awesome band."

Have you ever watched this on weed? Dumb question. But when I did the one time I got freaked by the angels falling into hell on the poster. Since I chose to believe J.B. was against the Devil due to the movies narrative I wasn't so scared but there is no denying that certain Metal goes too far and not just to be ironic. I'm listening to Pantera at the moment and they're good Christians. But a lot of the newer stuff--which is good--is all about Satan.

"So JB splits for Hollywood. Roughly twenty years later, he gets there."

The opening credits were great. I don't like the occult and the use of the tarot cards freaked me a bit but I got past it.

"But a chance encounter with a terrible movie homage bonds them,"

That did seem a tad ostentatious. It was like they were saying: We've seen "A Clockwork Orange."

"But a shocking event equals them out,"

Yes, but what about J.B.'s complete submission to Kyle. I found it made J.B. likeable in that it proved how badly he wanted. What makes him all the more likeable is his reaction when presented with the truth. Then, what makes them both lovable is the forgiveness and acceptance. Made me cry...when I watched it on whiskey.

"..and instead of being a side kick to the Kyle Gass Project, JB and Kage form Tenacious D (the origin of the name made me smile till my head fell off, I never knew) and immediately hit the club scene. They are told they need more material if they want to win the open mic prize, so they attempt to write a masterpiece and find out that shit ain't easy."

Their first song was hilarious!!! Hilarious. "He did not die in vain-NO!"

"But they discover that all the great rock gods' guitar players had the same pick."

Dude, why no mention of Stiller's hilarious cameo? "I moved to Rome."

"I'm not going to lie. A little love of Tenacious D helps when watching this. It will allow you to forgive some cheesy lines, a script that sometimes ignores itself and that has plot holes from Arizona, choppy fucking direction, and one more cameo from Ben Stiller playing a character with weird hair."

HA!!! I'm glad you closed your berating tirade by baiting Stiller. Shows you don't get it. The only part I didn't like was the mushroom trip.

"But even if you walked into this sight unseen I'd have a hard time believing a newbie wouldn't be charmed by the relentlessly good natured tone of the film."

Oh, you do get it. Are you fucking with my head?

"Kage and JB are a couple of retards anyone could root for. And it is funny, which is the only requirement I have of any comedy."

I agree with you but only to a certain point. Are they retards? Or believers? Can you distinguish between the two any longer you smug, SECULARIST, Bill Maher wanna-be livin' in the sticks thinkin' his New York roots transcend him??? Also, you can't name a black comedy where smart characters achieve hilarity? I could name a million but "Ghost World" is the first to come to mind. Both leads were intelligent as well as Buscemi yet they were still funny as they made their acute observations of society.

"That said, to someone like me this flick came out a few years too late. Jack Black has oversaturated his act now, and it makes the character of JB less fresh, even if you haven't seen Black this maniacal in anything before."

I disagree but we are coming at it from two differing perspectives. I take issue because I know you hated his participation in "Orange County" and "School of Rock"--two films I thoroughly enjoyed and enjoyed him in. "Shallow Hal" was a turd.

"What really makes it the obsession I thought I'd defeated years ago are the new songs. I warn you. They get stuck in your head. The only way I know to get them out is to learn how to play them. This soundtrack disc gets played at least twice a day in my house. It's the wellspring from which I flow. It is the epitome of rock 'tardom. It blisters assholes. And when it's time to blow doors down, doors get blown down."

YEAH!!! I've only become obsessed with three of them and the one at the end (about the Devil) I'm leary of. But I can bring both Grohl's lyrics as well as J.B.'s. They melt together.

"So, yeah, despite it's flaws Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny, is the greatest movie ever fucking made."

It's up there.

"The Video

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny melts faces with a Rocket-Sauce 1:85:1 transfer that preserves the original aspect ratio that almost no one saw in theatres. Colors are bright (brighter for me) and the picture sharp (sometimes not as much for me) and I have no complaints, except that it isn't in 3-D Sense-O-Vision yet. When the fuck are we getting Sense-O-vision?! "

What are you talking about?

"The Sound

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny cums in your ear pussies with a cochlear-crushing DTS 6.1 track that will leave lesser sound systems emitting black smoke. This soundtrack is fueled by Satan. There's also a Dolby Digital track for pussies, and a two-channel track for people who obviously don't give a shit that sound is fifty percent of the movie experience. I pity you."

Quit being so PEDANTIC!!! :)

The Extras

Add the trailers, the superlative music video, "jump to a song", and the best nut you ever busted pales in comparison. Fueled by Satan."

What about Grohl? Any behind the scenes footage of him?

"Seriously. Beware this film. It will eat your soul and shit it in your mouth."

This film will luminate your soul and...all right, lemme try this...cum in your ear pussy.

"10 out of 10"

Agreed

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