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| Subject: Hey Rhonda | |
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Author: Jimmy |
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Date Posted: 17:37:52 03/09/08 Sun Author Host/IP: c-68-41-127-213.hsd1.mi.comcast.net/68.41.127.213 Lemme know what you think of this. I've got my first meeting tomorrow with my Sales Reps as Director of Corporate Marketing. The grammar is intentionally colloquial and euphonious as I will be speaking but I want to know what YOU would think of some new guy showed up to your company and said some shit like this. I've already eaten two Adderall's and I woke up at 1 am for work--the idea being to give me an early-worm edge over the late risers. I'm going to take at least two more during the course of the day and I'm going to drink so much coffee. They'll either all get behind me...or call the Police. They're gonna get behind me. My charisma, my passion, my fanaticism, my motivation, my LUNACY!!!!! All right, now I'd like to address the issue of channel Marketing. Who here is familiar with this concept? Ironically, the concept of channel marketing is why I decided to come work here. During my second interview we got into the brokering role we continue to play with offshore accounts. (Gulp a giant portion of coffee. Set it down intensely, wipe off your mouth with the back of your hand, rub your hands together and then yell: "WHOOOOHHHH!!! I love Coffee!" One of the things I like about your overall scope is that, although its extremely focused, it doesn’t lose sight of the big picture and also isn’t afraid to try other aspects of the business not deemed to be the main focus. For instance, the brokering of goods through China into the market even though we possess the capabilities for internal production. Also, I like how you guys are always aggressively not only pursuing new clients but never turning down a challenging, nasty board from a new customer in order to impress them. That’s FUCKING motivating because that shit is going to pay off. I can’t convey to you how so many Corporations I’ve worked for have simply buried their heads in the sands and stuck to what worked in the past. These people are dying. I don’t mean their business, I mean them. Their souls. They are intellectually dead and I HATE being part of organizations like that. That’s why I went with (Name Deleted due to the overwhelming amounts of searches Hiring Managers are making these days That reminds me. Rhonda, I need you to delete every controversial post I've ever made and every post where I was drunk and brazenly mentioned my name. I've got a daughter on the way and I need to provide for her every need.) I went to that Interview that Monday afternoon and I knew even before I got there I was going with you guys but I’m still glad I went. I got to see my old life one last time. The corporate drudgery that dragged me into misery with the day-to-day monotony. These poor fucks walked back-and-forth from meetings to their cubes. From the water cooler to their desks. Banging out phone calls, qualifying candidates. Doing the same thing over-and-over. I’m too curious about the world! Too much in need of excitement! If I don't get my fix then I get depressed. God Bless all those who can sit behind a desk all day and know precisely what the day will bring them. I want a job where there is always something unexpected on the horizon. Something I will have to react to with creativity and sheer willpower. And always, always, the opportunity to enjoy the orgiastic triumph that only comes after defeating the enemy. Basking in his humiliation—the humiliation he intended for me—as I take 2 more Adderalls, sip some Jack Daniels, and turn on The Wallflower’s version of David Bowies “Heroes”. The cigarette will taste so right because I, like Bowie and Orwell, realize “the shame…is on the…other side!!! WE CAN BEAT THEM!!!” It’s time like these I’m barely able to contain the lunatic enthusiasm that pours from every neuron in my august brain, from every valve in my exalted heart, from every tightened muscle in my strapping, robust body, from literally every fiber of my gloriously-eminent being. You fucks are lucky to know me. Don’t ever forget it. Hey you bitch-tits...yeah you. Go get me some more coffee. I'm gonna make you rich. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Re: Hey Rhonda | P.S. | 17:46:42 03/09/08 Sun |
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