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| Subject: The "Swift Kick to the Teeth" list | |
Author: NeutralX2 | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 20:24:06 11/15/02 Fri The "Swift Kick to the Teeth" list (or how not to do it) Reply with more if you wish.. Inventory stations: People who spend 3 minutes at an inv station and leave in light armor carrying a blaster, a laser rifle, and a disk launcher deserve a swift kick in the teeth. People who have a 1 millisecond patience span and discs you away from the inventory station right when you are going to buy favorites. People who shoot u off stations while team damage is on deserve a swift kick to the teeth Those stupid bastards that shoot you off stations, like that accomplishes anything you stupid moron. Then their surprised when I set a mine at their feet and paint the wall with their armor. Now that doesn't accomplish anything either but it's damn funny. I got a new one. People who take too long at a station and when you ask them politely to get off they look at you.... and then blow up their own teams station just out of spite for you, need a Micheal Jordan sneaker in their mouth. People who have the patience of a 17 year old boy on prom night and jump in front of you and or other people who are waiting around for an in even station. They deserve a swift and repeated boot to the head with Ronald McDonald's size 28 clown shoes. What do they think? We are all milling around in the base because we like the scenery? I was on Raindance the other day and found myself mesmerized by the beautiful interior decorating job they had done. So I decided to just stand in front of the station and absorb it all. Gawd, learn some patience. What was really funny is that he was getting his sniper gear, probably was doing a lil machine gun sniping too, what with his incredible reserve of patience and all. Those who decide to disk you off the command station after you've had 10 mins of good ol' mortaring the hell out of the NME on Broadside need a swift kick to the head... * IMO, never disk ppl off of inv stats. Never. Use VEH, then chat them asking if they know about favorites. Or go and find another station. * How to do favorites: You buy your stuff, then select a number on top of the inv list, then click on "Mark As Favorites", this saves your current gear in the marked slot. Then, when you want the saved outfit, select the slot, click on "Buy Favorites". Done. Chat/Communication: - Guys who go on the chat only to constantly spam "To join a great tribe go to room #---" (Im probably going to catch hell for that one but I don't think you should recruit anyone who walks onto a chat line. It should be for their marret) deserve a swift kick to the teeth - People who post obscenities during the game need a kick. I don't mind swearing, but it uses up bandwidth needed for coordinating the team. - People who say "You Idiot" "Shazbot" "Duh" need swift kick in the head.. - People shouting "lag" after they get killed. Little known fact: lag stands for "lame @$$ gamer" - People who flood the comm with the same message so no one else can say anything. * Flooding the comm is AKA as spamming - Yet more people who need a good kick in the teeth!! People who won't respond when you ask if the flag is back in the base. On Stonehenge, teams often swap flags, and I sit in the base with the flag waiting to hear if our flag is back, and through the confusion of war I miss the message saying our flag is back. If you see someone waiting with the enemy flag, try to pay attention and do a VFS (our flag is secure) when our flag is returned. * IMO, think before you chat. Be polite. Don't spam. USE CAPS ONLY IF IT IS IMPORTANT. Newbies: - People who think a newbie means someone to be stepped on need a swift kick to the teeth. (If you agree take time to raise a newbie if you see him asking for help on a chat line and you got nothing else to do) - People who did not bother to read the manual or play the training missions need to feel the pain of an ass rape by my Size 11 boot. - That guy who managed to kill me with Team Damage on. Just a couple minutes into the war and I'm setting up turrets I walk out of our base and he looks at me and I can tell he's new. I resupply walk around the corner and see a mortar shell tumble by my feet. I managed to type "Ah Crud!" before being blown off the platform to drop half a mile down to inevitable death. If he shouldn't be kicked in the teeth I don't know who should. - People who treat New bloods like slime should be kicked in multiple places. Help them out take a bullet for them, jeez! - People who shoot you when you are trying to repair them need a swift kick in the teeth. - People who try to kill you with a targeting laser need a swift kick in the teeth. - Don't forget idiot (not all) newbies .. or just idiots that say CAP THE FLAG when someone has it but our flag isn't at base I spent the entire mission of Ice Ridge telling my team to go retrieve our flag so I could score they were obviously blind because they told me to cap it. I even went outside a couple of time to make sure I just hadn't seen the msg/heard the sounds that it had be returned. So the whole time I was explaining to them over and over they just stood there in front of me in the base and didn't go retrieve it. Those retards piss me off a lot! -Players who paint moving targets with the laser designator (Like they are gonna stop so I can mortar em with that fu@#ing laser pointer on em) * To the newbies: Ask. Then ask some more. Try to be helpful, and communicate. * To the veterans: Answer. Then point unknown or unasked points out. * How to communicate: Use the T key to chat globally (readable by all players), and use the Y key to chat your team (readable only by your team). Flag running: - people who insist on running the flag when they have no energy, but they want the 5 points for themselves so they wont pass it on and die like foolish morons deserve a swift kick in the teeth. - People who insist on holding the enemy flag inside your base using a light armor despite the working inventory stations..... and then decide its to risky to chance going outside when your flag is returned. Oh for the return of those big bad army boots. - Any arse that tries to carry the enemy's flag and doesn't cap it cause he is too interested in fragging the enemy needs a swift kick to the teeth. - ppl that run right past you to get the flag when you have the flag. - Flag sitters that walk around outside. They have about a million ways to say "please kill me Mr.Mauler". The only time I go outside with the flag is when the enemy is making a habit of getting in our base. Then I take the flag and go to the most desolate corner of the map with portable sensor jammer (deployable). I then sit. - Any arse that has the flag and does not know it (even when his team mates tell him that he has it) needs a swift kick to the teeth. * Flag runners: Shout VFH (I have the enemy flag...), then VVV (cover me) a few times. Also, if you are by chance a heavy, toss the flag to the first capable friendly light armor you see, then turn around and fire wildly at the chasers. And lights, if you see a heavy with the flag, run up to him so he can toss you the flag. * Prospective flag carrier defenders: Bind the ‚Escort player' function somewhere in reach. * How to ‚escort players : In the options, bind a key to the ‚escort player' command. Now, when you press that key, it will give you a waypoint on the last player giving a voice command. So, it the flag bearer screams "Cover me!", and you hit the key, you will know where he is and can actually cover him. Turrets: - People who trash all the remote turrets and replace them with there own to get the point need a boot toothbrush - ppl who blow up remote turrets b/c the team "doesn't need one there" (there being the entrance to our base) so need a kick in the teeth and a couple on the side of the head. - ppl who don't man the turrets on the tower but stand out side and shoot disks at targets 200 meters away in Scarabrae. - ppl who shoot a shielded big turret with a disk and not with a targeting laser. - I HATE when people put turrets in the worst places. Like out in the middle of nowhere in your base, or RIGHT where the enemy can see it and destroy it before it wastes him. So to the person that said I would need a kick in the head for taking out turrets and placing my own. I don't think we still get points for turret kills do we? I never knew we did even. I just place my own because the current ones are in bad places. I let people know first, and I ask who set them, and inform them there are better places. * Know and learn the good spots for turrets. Good bets are heights. Example Broadside (1.3 version, where the flag is in the middle, right after the lower entrance): Put a turret each beside the command console, directly at the ledge. These turrets cannot be grenaded from below, so the enemy has to come from above (above equals roof, and that is defended, of course J), or get into the flag room (and the turret's field of fire) in order to take them out. APCs and Scouts: - Pilots who ignore rocket towers need a good swift kick to their teeth. - Pilots who fly empty APCs because there are no scouts left need a kick to their teeth, or at least the ppl who didn't destroy their used scouts firsthand. - People who don't break their vehicles upon landing need a swift kick in the ass. - People who strafe friendly targets while you are flying them to the enemy base deserve a good kick. - People who fly you into mountains and out of bounds deserve a good kick. - People - non-flagbearers - who cry for an APC pickup back to base deserve a kick. Come on - just die and respawn at the base. It is OK, however, to ask for a ride out to an enemy base, Target of opportunity, or sniping position. - People who run their teammates over with any vehicle deserve a Nike up the ass. - People who stand in the way of teammates flying vehicles (Scarabrae esp.) deserve a swift kick. - People who say "I need an APC pickup" 900 times while 1 is waiting at base calling for passengers need a swift kick in the head.. - Morons who yell APC ready to go, about a million times and stay on the vehicle pad for a friggin eternity need a swift kick in the nutz. :-) - People who wait by the vehicle pad and steal your scout before you can get there deserve a Tony Lama sandwich. - People who really need a swift kick are the ones at the launch pad who build a scout when there are four heavies waiting for a pilot. - People who purchase an HPC on Scarabrae, load it with heavies and then don't have the piloting ability to get it out of the launch bay without killing everyone and destroying the vehicle pad need a swift kick in the teeth. - ppl who fly right past the tower in Scarabrae when there is noone scheduled to defend it, or it belongs to the enemy. - ppl who fly a scout around and around the NME base and never kill anything. - I know this one has been said but I feel that its one that cant be said enough, ppl that steal scouts deserve to have more that a foot to the teeth (I think that a bullet to the head is more of a better punishment). - people who try to get onboard a FULL HPC or LPC and end up blowing everyone up deserve to have a Turret kicked into their teeth. - Players in light armor who jump in an APC before the slower heavy armors that are waiting for it can get in it really need a swift kick - Pilots who take off with a Heavy APC full of light armors need a swift kick! - Players who fly off all of our APCs and don't return them, deserve a swift kick... Behavior: - Guys who ignore a team mate in need for no good reason deserve a swift kick to the teeth - Guys who don't realize you need team work in this game don't deserve the kick...just a reality check - Guys who constantly say shazbot, damnit, etc. but don't communicate with their team need a swift kick to the teeth - Guys who spell team T-E-I-A-M need a swift kick to the teeth - Guys who TK deserve worse than a swift kick to the teeth - Teammates acknowledging your command while abandoning the assigned post to go on their very own vendetta. - People who constantly use voice commands for the hell of it need a nice thrashing. - People who beg for the weirdest things in the weirdest spots need a lead pipe in the danglies (I'm out of bounds and in need of ammo.) - People who think they can go solo and WIN have to have a chat with Mr. Fist. - People who blame failures on lag need to get raped by a 3500lbs sea turtle. - People who insist on misspelling every word deserve the biggest beating since the revolutionary war. - People who call for escort and you find out there just trying to get back to base to fix there health up. Size 12 Dr Martin. - People who don't say "gg" after a game, win or lose need a swift kick in the teeth * this IMO applies only if it was a good game, i.e. you had fun. - People with racially motivated or offensively vulgar names - People who whine and cry about lack of team work yet do nothing to support it need there sphincter stretched by my boot. - Finally people who fire weapons in their own base just for no reason. "Umm.. Just checking to see if it works..." And either Tk or just wreak the base need to be smeared in honey and staked down in front of a colony of fire ants. - ppl who shoot u back after u say u are sorry u shot them deserve a swift kick to the teeth - ppl who post under other ppl's name need to feel my size 18 Nazi Jackboot up their anal extremity - Slagging your own team! okay I usually play defense and when I am always getting overrun because I am the only one on defense, that I can handle (it is only a game) but the "I'm king of the DUNG heap" player that spouts off about how his team sucks, well that just pisses me off! If they are so f'n good, why don't they start showing some leadership instead of slagging the team, that only leads to desertion and a general loss of teamplay. - The player I saw who had a female character and kept saying "oooohh I'm cumming" then committing suicide(it was funny once, he did it over 20 times)that guys deserves to be thrown to Mojo's turtle -And finally, players who start complaining about the games Mods, Teams, Lvl, etc.. and then stay in the game and keep complaining. Both teams should declare a truce and gang rape those players with stormhammers Equipment: - People who don't carry targeting lasers, mines, and grenades - which are no encumbrance to your inventory - deserve a good kick. Sniping: - whining about getting sniped - Snipers who machinegun snipe - People who snipe and think it's a damn machinegun, with non-stop fire needs a swift disk to the head... - Almost everyone with a laser rifle needs a swift kick in the teeth. * Sniping can be effective, but only if coordinated. So, ask around where your sniping skills might be needed. For the most part, IMO defensive sniping is more effective, so start there. * How to snipe defensively: Set up shop in sight of your base, either to the sides or in front of it (respective to the NME base, that is), and scan for incoming targets. Hurt them good. Especially go after pilots of incoming APCs, incoming heavies etc. * Often overlooked is a sniper patrol. If there are many offensive snipers on the NME team, hunt them down. Not so much by sniping them, but by patrolling the sniper spots (and you snipers should know where they are) around your base, asking them if they "got plasma?". Snipers know best how snipers work, so they are the worst enemy of snipers... Commanding / Orders: - People that acknowledge orders to get the **** outside to defend our flag, and then remain motionless defending a friggin' mobile inv-station for 5 minutes. - ppl that order you to do something in your base when your in the NME base. - ppl that don't look at the command screen. - People who don't respond to orders deserve a swift kick to the teeth. And I don't mean something like "bring me an ammo station", but after our gens (on Broadside) have been killed for the 1000th time and I ask one teammate (to his name) if he could D the roof entrance. I repeat this every 15-20 secs, spicing it up with an explanation on how to chat every minute or so, and get nothing. Nothing. Heck, they cannot even say "No". - ppl that say "NO" when ever you try to give an order even when its not to them deserve a big boot to the face. * LISTEN. REPLY. Even if it is just "No", the prospective commander at least knows if he can count on or work with you. COMMUNICATE PEOPLE! * How to communicate: The bare minimum is "command acknowledged" (CTRL-X), "unable to complete objective" (CTRL-D) and "Objective completed" (CTRL-C). Learn these, and if you intend to carry out an order, hit CTRL-X, if not, CTRL-D, and if you arrived at your location or accomplished your objective, hit CTRL-C. Learning the voice commands, or at least some of them, helps, but learn at least the three above. Repairs: - People who "need repairs" and are wearing a damn repair pack when you get there to lend aid need a swift kick in the ass.. - People who say "No" "no you idiot" when you ask for repairs need a swift kick in the head.. - People who stand in front of the inventory station repeatedly saying "Need repairs" until someone ELSE fixes the generator need a swift kick in the teeth. - ppl that don't fix things in the base. * Learn where the repair kits respawn. * How to repair: Press the key to select your backpack (usually it's P), then point at the damaged object/player and press and hold fire. You can repair yourself with it, just point at nothing and fire. Of course, for this to work you have to carry a repair pack (either pick them up, every base has one or two respawining ones laying around, or buy one at an inv station * Remember your repair kit. Every player carries one on every respawn. It heals about 30% of your health, so if you are duking it out with someone and are half (or almost) dead, press the key to use your repair kit (usually H). Defense/Offense: - People who leave their defense posts because it's "boring" need a kick in the head.. - Or people who step on on my mined flag even after I say 'our flag is mined' - People who don't play defense even after our base has been rapped by damn tribers. - People who refuse to drop EVERYTHING they are doing when they are notified that OUR FLAG HAS BEEN TAKEN! - People who reply to "We need more defense" with "Going offense..." or "No" need a swift kick in the teeth. - ppl that don't go on the offense when there is 12 ppl on defense.(that's a new one but it does happen) -People on my own team who get frustrated because they get stuck in my pulse sensor spiderweb after capping the flag, so they blow them all up. Yeah, it's annoying to get stuck in your own team's spiderweb, but they trap the enemy just as well. On a positive note, one guy today who just couldn't get out after getting stuck opted to suicide himself. Thanks to those of you who understand spiderwebs are a necessary evil. - People who mine/web entrances that their own team uses more than the other. - People who don't recognize the need for balance. I always start out on defense - seeing few others enjoy defending the base - and often find myself the only one guarding the flag. The sad part is, they wonder why three lights and two heavies pushed through me and grabbed our flag. - ppl who say "we need more defense" or "defend are base" when the base is being destroyed by the other team while they run off to try to get the flag again. I mean come on don't give an order if your not willing to help at all. - People who mortar the enemy base while their flagrunner is trying to escape with the flag deserve a good kick. - people who do nothing after a call has been made that the enemy gen is destroyed. I agree that these people need a solid butt-reeming... kill the turrets and sensors, fools - People who tell you to return our flag when no one was guarding it cause he was off "Going Offense"... * Generally, there are too many people on Offense and not enough on defense, so if you want to meet the good players, they are probably on Defense * Two important abbreviations: Offense = capital O and Defense = capital D. So, if someone asks you "can u D the gens, please" it translates into "can you defend the generators, please?" * In this prospect, learn the layout of all the maps. Host your own multiplayer game (you can do that off-line), and play all the maps a few minutes to get to know the locations, so you know where to defend the gens. Support: -People who won't do me the favor of bringing an inv station or repair pack to my position, or repair the generator when I'm the only heavy guarding the flag and I'm having to plasma or mortar would-be flag stealers every 30 seconds or so. - People that expect every one to be their errand boy- sure, I'll take an inv. off behind enemy lines, but I'm not going to follow you around while you play and all I do is get your ammo- and these people are the ones that will never get an inv. for anyone else. * Especially pay attention to needs of flag or gen room defenders. If they ask for something, give it to them. Voting: - On voting: Voting not to boot TKers on the enemy's team. This would get the "pointy things in sensitive places" award. - Non-voters. Vote yay, or nay, just vote. - ppl who constantly initiate votes to kick someone who killed them once too often, or too make themselves admin, or to change the mission.....anyway..... ppl who initiate too many votes deserve to get their genitals bound to an airplane that's just about to take off for a trip around the world - One more thing that bothers me is when a vote has been initiated to kick a TK and the other team votes against it (sorry if this is a repeat). Tk's are the bane of the game and no matter whose team they are on they should be kicked. Scripting: - People who have a script which plays a taunt sound to ALL players EVERY time they make a kill need a swift kick in the teeth. * Be careful with scripts which do other stuff except messages. They can very easily come into the cheating range, like the famous "drop-all-your-grenades-and-mines-when-you-die"-script. Bragging: - People who do nothing but snipe enemies as they respawn and then brag about their score after the game need a swift kick in the teeth. - Guys who gloat too much deserve a swift kick to the teeth - People who outnumber a team 2-1 then gloat after a win need a swift kick up the ass.. - people who whine everytime they are killed and gloat when they actually do kill someone. - People who say "I win" after a game because they had the highest score need a swift kick in the teeth. - People who say "I win" after a game because they had the highest score on THEIR TEAM need a swift kick in the teeth. * Don't brag. Compliment nice moves, though. If the enemy flag capper just waltzed through your defense network, snatching the flag right under your nose and makes it home, all in under 30 seconds, compliment him/her. :-) Teamkillers: - People who can't TK (due to team damage being off) so instead they spend time shooting up the vehicles that pop up on the vehicle pad. But they deserve pain that would be legendary even in the bowls of hell. Well, maybe not that much, but they definitely need a life. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |