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Date Posted: 16:39:36 04/23/01 Mon
Author: Heck Tic
Author Host/IP: spider-te061.proxy.aol.com / 152.163.195.201
Subject: Heck Tics tryout


Heck Tic is in Cancun, Mexico doing a tv taping for MTVs Say what Kareokee. MTV asked Heck Tic to be a celebrity judge on the show during it spring break week. Heck Tic gets done doing what he has to do with the show ands head back to his dressing room with 2 blonde ladies he pulled out of the crowd. After a few hours in his dressing room he comes out and heads to his awaiting limo to head back to his hotel. He gets in and pours himself a drink. He sips on that until his arrival to his hotel. He steps out of the limo and is swarmed by fans asking for autographs. He signs a few and heads inside where the crowd is stopped by security. He heads to his penthouse suite and turns on the tv. After a few minutes of commercials a TIW commercial appears promoting this Saturdays Xplossion. He sits there listening to the card. Then his named is mentioned in the fatal fourway for the US Title. He then turns the tv off and calls TIW headquarters ans orders a camera crew to meet him at Fat Tuesdays in sunny Cancun, Mexico. Heck Tic gets in the shower to prepare for his promo. He gets out of the shower and throws on a pair of Tommy Hilfiger khaki cargo shorts, a navy blue Fubu t-shirt, and a pair of Adidas shell toe tennis shoes. He heads down stairs to his limo and heads to Fat Tuesdays. He arrives to a crowd of drunken college students chanting, "Heck Tic!! Heck Tic!!" He walks in and is surrounded by a crowd of ladies wanting some valuable tv time. So Heck Tic picks out a dozen ladies to join him at his table. A waitress comes over to take orders. Heck Tic orders 13 shots of Jose Cuervo and 13 Coronas. A few minutes later the camera crew walks in and begins to set up there equipment. The crew finishes just as the waitress brings his drinks. All the ladies take there shots and begin drinking there beers. Then Heck Tic gets the signal from the camera man to begin speaking.


HeckTic: Now where should I begin. It has been such a great week for The Crazed One down here in Cancun. I mean shit look at the scenary. I have the 3 most important things to survive by. Number 1 being pussy. Number 2 being liquor, and number 3 being......Well pussy. Now last Saturday was a day I will never forget. It was the very first card for the TIW. I was victorious in 1 of my 2 matches. But the thing I dont get is this. Dex what has come over you? What you did for me was completely unecpected. After all the shit we have put our bodies through in hardkore matches and Jack on a pole match you came out to help me in my time of need. I sat in my hotel room Saturday night and pondered that one thought in my whacked out head all night. I sat there and thought, and thought, and thought and never came up with a reason why. But that night is now over and all I have to say is, I owe you one brother. When I get back to the states lets get together, drinka bottle of your buddy Jack and reconcile our pasts. Together here in the TIW there is no one who can compete with us. Have a drink on that and think about it. Now onto this Saturday night. I had no idea what the card was like. I was just going to show up and do what I do best. But I sat in my hotel room and heard the card. JJ you are doing a pretty good jobn trying to putr these cards together with such a lack of talent. You have 3 title up for grabs. You have yourself a cane and Jack ona pole match with Dex and Sane. Then you have a week as main event with The Great WHite Dope and Sonnu Maivia. JJ we all know that the match of the night is going to be the fatal fourway. I am going to beat Menace, Hardy, and once again Kartier. But this main event will do. I will just put the show on my shoulders and carry this card as I do most feds I am in.

HeckTic takes a drink of his beer and continues to speak.

Heck Tic: Now onto my match. Let me start with the man or should I say boy I havent faced yet. And that be you Josh Hardy. Do you actually think you can hang in the same ring with HeckTic? I dont think you can. No wait. I know you cant hang. You are just a puny little bitch who is trying to play a big boys game. You are no wher enear my level and will never eb anywhere near my level. Your dreams of holding gold here in the TIW will be shattered by me and my Implossion. Then you will realize you are not big enough, not strong enough, and straight up not man enough to play these Heck Tic games. I will beat you, twist you, and bend you like you have never been before. I will send you back to your shanties begging for your mommas titty to suck on. You will be beat down to a bloody mess. Then when they cart your unconscious body off on the stretcher everyone will know how big of a joke you and your wrestling carrer are.

Heck Tic pauses and takes a drink of his beer. He then stops a fine looking female who is walking by to join them. She sits down with the other 12 women. The waitress now brings over 14 shots of Jose and 14 Coronas. HeckTic then begins to speak again.

Heck Tic: Now onto you Kartier. I guess you havent learned your lesson yet. I guess I will have to beat the shit out of you again. And maybe this time you will leard no to ever sign a contract containing me in the match. You see I know your types. I was once like you. It was some time ago when I ventured into the RWF and met this man named Dex Dangerous. I challenged him once. I fought my balls off. We went for ever. Then he beat me. I was so pissed off. You see he beat by hitting me with a bottle of Jack Daniels. SO I went out and challenged him again. The same thing happened. I met his friend named Jack once again. We battled back and forth for a couple of weeks. Then finally I said fuck it. Now I'll be damned if every match I have here in the TIW is going to be against your ass. I will sooner quit that fight you every fucking week. You are nothing but a waste of my fucking time. Like Hardy you are know where near my level. You didnt stand a chance in taking me out last Saturday night. Now what gives you the idea you can take me out this Saturday night? Is it the fact that Menace was able to some how get me on my back? I dont think so. Is it the fact that I pissed you off when I beat your ass all over the Savis Center? I bet it is. And you are going to come to the ring Saturday night trying to get some revenge upon my ass. Tell you what you dumb son of a bitch...... No chance will you ever egt revenge upon me. I am bigger, stronger, and just straight up better than your mid carding jobber ass. Why dont you and Hardy go off and ask JJ for your own match. That way it will give the fans a chance to go take a leak. Now I know you are little slow so let me explain that. You see if you and Hardy would have a match it would be the most boring match of all time. Now when I got to a Miami Dolphins game I wont go to the bathroom until the quarter is over. With your match with Hardy that would give the fans of the TIW a perfect time to take a piss. You got it now?

Heck Tic takes one of his shot and continues to talk.

Heck Tic: Now onto the man I hate most right now......Menace. YOu dont think I forgot about you. After I seen the TIW commercial for this Saturdays Xplossion I flipped to This Week in Wrestling where they highlight the week in the wrestling world. Then you face popped up and I continued to listen. You spoke of Kartier and Hardy, but had no mention of me. Why? I guess you have the thought of not wanting to piss me off. Well thats awfully smart of you. The best thing for you to do is not piss me off. But the actions that took place last Saturday night really pissed me off. You know that part when you get hit with a chair and I lose due to disqualifacatation. You see I hate winning matches with a little help by others. Last Saturday you may have gotten the win, but this weekend I will get the gold. I will send you back to your trailer park home still dreaming of holding TIW gold. Then you will challenge me and once again I will take you and drop you with The Implossion. You will never and I damn well mean never hold a title in the TIW. Well I will take that back. In the RWF they had the North American Title that was later renamed the Jobber Title. That would be a great belt for you, Hardy, and Kartier could compete for. Now I said that JJ did a good job producing this card for Xplossion but he did one thing bad. He put the fucking show in a match full of fucking jobbers. THats why I am taking it and tossing it on my shoulders and going to give the fans what they paid for. And that is a damn good show.

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