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Subject: A somewhat...odd bio...


Author:
Wip of Mad Menaces
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Date Posted: 05:03:30 10/09/04 Sat

Wip had lived happily with his mother and father for a season and a half...already he was talkative, and often talked himself to sleep. Such as: "...an' then Elijah said: zzzZZZZzzz..." and his mom would laugh.
One morning, his father, Elisha (El-eye-sha) gave him a copper laddle, and spoke the words to his 1 1/2 year old. "Wip, be brave if I never come back to cook with that!" It was his most prized laddle.
His father never did come back.
That season, halfway through, when he was almost two seasons, a score of stoats took his mom, a hare and him captive. A bad mistake on the short-temered, no-talking-kind-of-war-lord's part.
~ in prision ~
Wip bounced happily around in his cell, exploring every corner. His cage was right next to the warlords...the warlord had intended to have... 'fun' with the dibbun. "OH! Lookie, misser warlorder beastie! A beetle! Hewwow, beetle! Howz yeew t'day?" He gasped. "Hey wook! A piece of...stwa? Hay? What izzit, misser --- oh! Lookie hewe! Issa' likkle wock! An' a piece ov san', an' -"
"DO YOU EVER SHUTTUP?"
Wip was unfazed as he went on talking. "An' I becha tha' these barz make a clang-cling noize wiv me wadle, zee?" he took out his ladle and starting skipping around the cage, dragging it against each bar, and true to the word, it made the most annoying: cling-clang-clankity-clung-clink sound. "Awound awound da 'tage I do, sin'in' for da woor lor'! Clankity clankity clop kling da-ding-a-ling! Heeehehehee!"
The warlord unsheathed his sword. "Yeh want a taste o' this?"
Wip gaped at the blade, and started blabbering about it. "Oooh...that a pwitty likkle fingy, misser! It wuddn' tase' vewwy 'doo'd, I fink not...no, but 'tan I seez it? I wike it, maybe we 'tud swich fo' a while an' you 'ave me wadle, an I 'ave your glittery fingy, eh? An then -"
"OUT WITH THEM! OUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!" The warlord couldn't stand the blabbering nonsence.
Even as they were being led out, Wip chattered on. "Say, yew wook wike you didn' 'ave a pwopur sweep, yew need ta get sweep, sweep iz dood fo' you, y' knowz..."

Later, the same vermin band invaded the colony, killing all except Wip, who escaped, and his uncle who followed the trail of the fleeing rabbit. They both arrived at Redwall.

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