|Subject: PNG PM ELECT ASSASSINATION PLOT EXPOSED
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Date Posted: Mon, Aug 13 2007, 08:10:27am
In a series of unfortunate but hilarious events that have caused the nation laughing and the rest of the world terrified, yet another shocking discovery has unveiled a plot to assassinate the newly elected Prime Minister for Papua New Guinea. The Commissioner of Police, Gredogson Barkey has denied the report but has commented strongly and conclusively that these were merely unsubstantiated speculations.
At around midnight yesterday, a caller who wished to be anonymous rang the WTF News Room and talked for hours with a strong Taliban acescent about plots to assassinate any MP who is elected Prime Minister for Papua New Guinea. The unidentified caller further added that the Police Commissioner of PNG and his blue suited disciples where in for a big surprise if he thought these were just speculations. When asked how he and the rest of the Taliban’s were planning to assassinate the PM elect, all he screamed was ………… “Blessed be Allah! Same as Twin Towers! Blessed be Allah! Same as Twin Towers! Blessed be Allah!
After the phone call from the anonymous caller, WTF News is led to believe that Taliban Terrorists are now mad with all the 109 elected MP for their deceptive tactics used to win the 2007 General Elections and cheating the people of Allah.
The news has reached the political parties hibernating and performing ceremonial rituals and performing tribal dances in their secluded hideouts prior to the ‘Famous Haus Tambaran sittings’ today at 9 am to elect the Speaker and PM of the country. A WTF News insider has confirmed that upon hearing the news, the most likely PM hopeful, Sir Mikes, the leader of the National Alliance Party has suffered a semi - heart attack. All the traditional dancing attire tied around him made it extremely complicated for him to continue breathing which resulted in him slamming face first onto the ground. By Gods grace, Sir Mike’s former foe turned apostle, Mr. Petrus O’Neil’ya was right beside him who saved Sir Mikes life by performing a number of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Sir Mikes Deputy, Mr. Polye, who was still dressed in his traditional Engan regalia and sweating heavily when WTF News showed up, was quick to point fingers at the Alternate Government hopefuls, Sir Juls, Sir Meks and Barty Phils and accused the Three Musketeers for engaging Osama Bin Laden and his Taliban network to assassinate NA MPs and cause unnecessary heart attacks. Sir Mikes’ political offspring, Mr. Autosummer Rays has further threatened the Three Musketeers that he would call the American President, Mr. George W. Bush (a sworn enemy of Osama Bin Ladin) on his latest Digicel cellular phone and inform him of the current situation where the Three Musketeers have engaged Mr. Osama Bin Ladin’s terrorist group to assassinate his dad.
When WTF News reached the Alternate Government camp for their comments relating to the assassination plot, a kitchen girl present at the camp excitedly explained that there was a huge alcohol drinking, joint smoking celebration which lasted the all night. When asked where Sir Juls, Sir Meks, Barty Phils and rest of the MP boys where, the kitchen girl responded immediately.....................”they were picked up this morning by a couple of Arabians whom we all had breakfast together. I am pretty sure the other one was Osama Bin Laden.”
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