| Subject: You Can't Go Home Again |
Author:
Grandma JAG
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Date Posted: 19:49:59 11/02/02 Sat
Title: You Can’t Go Home Again
Author: Grandma JAG
Rating: G
Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the JAG characters in this story. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Mac accompanies Harm to his 20th high school reunion.
Part 1
Harm sat at his desk, reading the invitation for about the 100th time:
The Class of 1981 of La Jolla High School
requests your presence at its
20th Reunion,
to be held on Oct. 18-20, 2002, in conjunction
with the Class of 1982.
Casual reception to be held Friday night at
George’s At The Cove, 8:00
Formal dinner and dance on Saturday night
at the Grande Colonial, 7:00-10:00
Picnic on the beach on Sunday, 2:00
Come and join all your high school pals!
R.S.V.P. Deb (Adamson) MacGruder
1-800-555-4545
A knock at his door startled Harm back into reality. He looked up to see his partner standing in the doorway.
“Hey, Mac,” Harm smiled uncomfortably.
“Hey, yourself,” Mac smiled back. “What are you reading so intently, your obituary?” she teased.
“It might as well be,” Harm chuckled. “It’s an invitation to my 20th high school reunion coming up the weekend after next.”
“Class reunion?” Mac looked puzzled. “But didn’t you graduate in 1981? That would have made your 20th year last year, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes, and the reunion was scheduled for October of last year. But then after 9/11, plans were postponed. The committee just recently got together with the Class of ‘82 and they decided to hold the reunions together.” Harm continued to stare at the invitation as if it was a death notice.
“So what’s the problem? You’ve got some leave coming, and I’m sure the admiral can spare you for a few days,” Mac said, looking at her partner quizzically.
“I’m not sure I even want to go,” Harm replied, not sure if he wanted to get into an explanation of why not. But he should have known that Mac wasn’t going to leave it alone.
“Why not? I never went back to any of mine because I was embarrassed by the fact that I was a drunk when I graduated. Not to mention digging up all the bad memories about Eddie’s death......” Mac’s voice trailed away momentarily as she remembered back to her high school days. But she brought herself back quickly and continued, “But you-----being an Academy grad, a fighter pilot, and now a JAG lawyer----I would think you’d love to go back and brag about all that you’ve accomplished in the last 20 years.”
Harm smiled and said, “I did all that at the 10th reunion. It was fun then---gloating over my achievements, and watching as the other guys-----starting to get pot bellies, a few gray hairs, and worries over wives and young children----sat and listened to my stories, green with envy.”
Mac, still puzzled, queried, “And now, 10 years later, don’t you still have the same stories to brag about?”
Harm stood and walked to his window and gazed outside. “Oh, I still have great stories to tell. And the guys might still be green with envy. But what I don’t have is....,” he paused as he turned to look at Mac before he continued, “..... I don’t have pictures of children to show them, or a wife at my side to introduce to everyone. I always thought there was plenty of time for all that, but now I feel that time is running out. And I don’t need my high school reunion to remind me of that.” He turned to look back out the window.
Mac walked over to stand by him. Putting her hand on his arm, she said, “You still have plenty of time for all that. You’ve led a fascinating life, serving your country, and I’m sure your classmates are very proud of you. One thing that 9/11 did was cause people to reach out and get in touch with the ones that they have fond memories of. Reunions are meant for that. You should go.”
Harm looked down at his partner and smiled. She was always so practical when it came to things like this. Maybe it was because she had missed out on so much in her own childhood. “You’re probably right, as usual. But this reunion is joined with the Class of ‘82. That means I would see Susan.”
“Who’s Susan?” Mac asked. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this story.
“Susan was my first real girlfriend,” Harm said, smiling at the memory. “She was a year behind me. We dated my senior year, she was a junior. I took her to the prom---my mom has home movies. I gave her my class ring one warm April night as we walked along the beach and watched the sunset.”
“Then what happened?” It was too late now. She had to find out what happened next.
“Then I went to the academy in June. We weren’t allowed to correspond with anyone at home for the first six weeks of basic training. After that, I was so busy with classes and training, that I guess I didn’t write or call much. She wrote me every other day for awhile, then once a week, then it dwindled down from there. I went home for Christmas break, but she had gone on a ski trip with her family to Switzerland. The following summer I had parachute training in Florida. I heard that she went to the University of California at San Diego after she graduated and met a guy there.” Harm was afraid to look at Mac as he continued. He had never told this story to anyone.
“So you never broke up with her? You just stopped writing?” Mac couldn’t believe it.
“I just lost contact with her. It wasn’t intentional. I was so caught up in my career that......... I know what you’re going to say. That this was the first of many girls that I have not been able to commit to. It’s the beginning of an all too familiar pattern in my life.” Harm sat back down in his chair with a sigh.
“I wasn’t going to say that.” Mac looked at her partner and softened her gaze. She actually had been thinking that very same thing---- that Harm has a history of not being able to commit to a personal relationship with a woman. But she didn’t dare say it out loud. “Well, then, all the more reason that you should go. You need closure.”
Just then, Tiner appeared at the door. “The admiral would like to see the two of you in his office.”
“Thank you, Tiner,” Harm replied. Looking at Mac, he said, “I’ll think about it.”
As they entered the admiral’s office, he was on the phone. Seeing his two senior officers, the admiral motioned for them to sit down. Finishing his conversation, he turned to them, a stern look crossing his face.
“Commander, Colonel, I’ve just received word that there has been an F-18 crash at Miramar. The pilot ejected safely, with only minor injuries. The squadron commander seems to think the crash was pilot error, but the pilot insists that there was a computer malfunction. I would like the two of you to go and investigate. Take the rest of this week and all of next, if you need it. That will give you time to visit your mother, Commander.” The admiral was always quick to put family matters a close second to military concerns.
“And attend your reunion!” Mac added, much to Harm’s dismay.
The admiral looked at Harm and asked, “Family reunion, Commander? I wasn’t aware that you had any other family besides your mother and grandmother, and Sergei, of course.”
“I don’t, sir. The Colonel was referring to my high school reunion. It was postponed last year due to 9/11 and has been rescheduled for next weekend.” Harm gave Mac a look that said, ‘I’ll deal with you later’.
“Hm.....I remember my last high school reunion. There was this girl---- not much to look at in high school, but boy, had she ever changed......” The admiral caught himself before he went any further. “You should go, Rabb, and have a good time.”
“Yes, sir. I’m considering it.” How did I get into this discussion? Harm wondered. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
As he and Mac left the admiral’s office, Mac said, “Come on, lighten up, Harm. It’s only a weekend. You wouldn’t even have to go to all the activities planned. If you don’t go, you’ll always wonder what happened and who was there. Look, if going alone bothers you, I’ll go with you.”
Harm frowned at Mac as he asked, “Why would you want to hang out with a bunch of people you don’t know?”
“That’s what makes it fun. No pressure to try and impress anyone. I’ll never see any of them again. I promise you I won’t embarrass you,” Mac laughed. And besides, she thought to herself, I want to get a look at this ex-girlfriend of his.
“Okay, you’re on,” Harm said. “Now go home and pack and I’ll meet you at the airport.” Silently he said, I hope I’m not going to regret this!
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