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Date Posted: 15:07:16 07/25/02 Thu
Author: Zzanee
Subject: False Hope Part 1

False Hope –1

“I sent her to boarding school! It’s not like she’ll gone forever! You’ll see her again in eleven years!”

That was what he had said to her outside the hospital after she told him that he had won. Even then, Todd should not resist twisting the knife in a little deeper, Blair reminded herself as she momentarily regretted her decision to town and him for good this time. Angry words, cruel taunts and twisted game of one-upmanship was all they had left of a love affair that was supposed to last a lifetime. The last balloon had finally bust into just so much hot air.

The only good they had done together or apart had been their children. The amazing little girl she no longer got to see and the lively, little one he would never see. Who knew that hideous family portrait would be so dead on accurate? A beautiful daughter, her thickheaded father, her half-forgotten mother and an unseen baby. What a perfect depiction of the Manning Family!

Stop! No more bitterness or unhappy thoughts! She needed to have happy positive thoughts for the sake of the baby! That meant no more dwelling on the past and what she could not have. She needed to focus on what she had the child within her and that ten million she got in her divorce settlement. She was already using that money to build a new life for herself and her baby. Blair thought tapping her fingers on the armrest of her seat in first class.

Who would have thought she would end up in Mexico of all places? But Mexico was a good place to hide and to have her baby with the most privacy possible. She had rented a nice private villa in a quiet, affluent community and arranged for a midwife/nurse to live with her and help her when her time finally came. The doctor would be at the villa in a matter of minutes if there were any complications arose. Which there should not be. As long she remained calm and content.

Blair breathed in deep like the relaxation tape told her to. She had leased the villa through the end of the year. If she liked it here, she had the option of purchasing it. But right now all she was going to concentrate on was having a healthy baby. Her due date was November 15th. How was that for humorous! That was going to be her opening line to him on one of her aborted attempts to tell him about this child.

How many times as she tried to tell him about this baby?

Let’s see…The first time was the night before her hearing but he was too busy evicting her from her home. The second time was at St. Anne’s when she realized that his vicious ex-husband act on the witness stand had been his crazy way of saving her from twenty years in Stateville. The third time she had actually told Starr that the baby belonged to Mommy and Daddy. The fourth and fifth times were the morning Starr run away and the following evening when he filed that restraining order against her.

Finally, there was the letter she wrote the day before she left. Even that had turned out badly. She had gone to St. Anne’s to explain to her mother that she was leaving town for awhile. A good long while, so Momma would not see her for a long time. She had the letter in her pocket when he burst in on them and they fought like usual. When he sulked off in that black cloud, she had torn up the letter and placed in the trash of her mother’s room.

What started the fight? How do any of their pointless fights start? A nasty look! A stupid remark! Did it matter anymore? Not really because they always ended the same. Todd would be fume and taunt her with the fact that she would never see her daughter again! She would retaliate by telling him how she loved Max and how happy she was that this was not his baby! She would hold back her tears until he stormed off.

They did this over and over. Every time they saw each other. That was a lot more than she would like! But Llanview was a small town and they frequented many of the same places. But most of their meetings were accidental on purpose.

Sometimes, Blair would swear that he lay awake at night thinking of ways to torment her and he would pop over to see her whenever he had a new one to try out on her. She told him many times that they were over and she did not want to see him anymore. But bright and early the next day there Todd would be again. To fight with her. To threaten her. To torment her with videotapes of her daughter.

Anything to get an emotional rise out of her. It was as if he fed off! Todd seemed to need it like some people needed a cup of coffee or a morning kiss to start their day.

But in all honesty was she any better? Hadn’t she been unable to just walk away from him at the Palace the other day when she heard him leaving a message for Gabrielle? Hadn’t she been green-eyed with jealousy over the grotesque image of him with that other woman? At the hospital, hadn’t she tried to get back at him by hanging all over Max while he watched, seething in jealousy? And she could not just walk away from him without a word after she made her decision to leave town and have the baby on her own?

No, Blair knew she could not resist telling him that he won and she was leaving for good. Until he said those cruel words about their daughter, she had still held out a tiny thread of false hope for them. If he had been willing to share Starr with her, she would have shared this baby with him. Her final, fruitless attempt to reach him but Todd was not listening. He was too busy playing the game to notice that she had stopped playing months ago. She had given up. What was the point?

So, here she was Mesa Grande. That large house with its iron gate and high stone walls. This would be her home for the next three months. Here she would remain until she had her baby.

In spite of she had promised Kelly promised, Blair knew she could not turn to her. Todd might follow her there and start wondering why she still had not had her baby. That was assuming, of course, that he still wanted to torture her. And that was a sport he never seemed to tire of!

But she could not take the chance that he might follow her to Kelly and Kevin’s. Todd would think that it would be worth a trip to Texas! He could torment her, pick on Kelly, provoke Kevin and probably learn the truth. He was very willing to travel to reek such mayhem.

When he discovered she was gone for real, Todd would be very angry and hate her more than he did now. And he might even try to find her. But eventually, he would give up on her and let her go just like he did with Tea. Who could have guessed that she would end up hiding out from him just like Tea?

Thank god that she had enough sense to tear up that letter she had written and the presence of mind to trash it at St. Anne’s! She had not left a paper trail for him to follow and she did not want to give him any motivation to find her! Blair thought with a bitter laugh as the taxi pulled in the driveway of her new home. The driver unloaded her bags and drove away. The midwife/ nurse named Paloma of all things helped her unpack and finally left her alone to rest.

Blair kicked off her shoes and lay down on the soft bed. It had been a long trip and a longer day. Still, she was here. Both she and the baby were safe. There was a warm breeze blowing through the open windows of her bedroom. She was tired, Blair thought sleepily as her eyes fluttered close.

When Blair re-opened her eyes, it was darker and cooler. She also was not longer alone. With an audible groan, she sat up on the bed and placed a pillow in front of her for protection. Reminding herself that he could only be here to gloat about how easily he could find her, she turned angry, green eyes up to the face of her baby’s father.

After looking her up and down with his usual disapproving look, Todd stepped up on the bed over her legs and flopped down on the bed beside her. He grabbed the pillow she was holding in front of her and stacked it behind his head. They lay side by side on the bed in silence for several minutes.

When she attempted to get off the bed, he yanked her back against the pillows. His angry hazel eyes warned her not to try that again. Blair started to speak but stopped when he stared hard at her. Rolling her eyes in irritation, she decided to let him begin. Yet he still did not speak after he released her hand.

Instead, Todd tentatively stretched his hand out across her rounded belly as she exhaled and felt the baby kicked. Moving his hand to where the baby was kicking, Blair warily allowed her hope for them to build while she wondered what happened next.

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