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Date Posted: 17:18:30 10/30/03 Thu
Author: sharon
Subject:

wow so much info...in the words of buffy
In reply to: Blade 's message, "I know why he killed himslef" on 16:24:19 10/26/03 Sun

the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

first off chel my heart bleeds for you. to be a posisition where you wanted to die and leave your kids cos the darkness is so bad is terrible. regardless of what sort of husband you had it is irrelevant now, i hope you get all the help you need and you and your own are able to get on with life and find genuine happiness.

secondly everyone comes down hard on blade but hte reason is hes a straight shooter that why we love him. of course he doesnt understand, he never will hell never be a 30 odd year old woman in an unhappy marriage with kids suffering from depression. but then well never be an 18 year old guy either. suicide does destroy people and whether or not he did it because he was a coward or because the darkness overtook him it is a moot point now. it nis always harder for the ones left behind.

but depression is an illness not a weakness. ihave suffered from it my whole life. the first time i ever seriously contemplated killing myself i was 7 years old. it took till i was 19 to get help. im still no where near normal but hey i think i see thinks more clearly than most ''normal'' people. i never did it though because i couldnt hurt my mom all i could think was how would she cope. the one time i tried it for real was about 2 months after my daughter died i was home alone my mom was dying of cancer and all i could think was i wanted kylarah and i didnt want any more pain. steve found me i drank the charcoal stuff (not as bad as everyone thinks) and had heaps of guilt when i thought about sojahn and the extra suffering i would have caused my mom and steve. but i still cant guarantee i never will sometimes im down so low i cant see the surface anymore and it is hard.

so really the morale is dont judge a man till your standing in his shoes. and it doesnt matter how stupid someone is they can always teach you something.

my thoughts are with you chel. sorry about your cousin blade. and no more attempted suicide3s for blade and his harem.

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Replies:

Well put sharon -- Blade, 21:50:05 10/31/03 Fri
Well put sharon -- Blade, 21:50:55 10/31/03 Fri
- that is true -- sharon, 15:50:32 11/01/03 Sat