The Lord will surely SMITE the heathen and satanist and, um, the pogostick enthusiast. -- 1 ABSOLUTELY !!! GOD only has ONE church !!

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Date Posted: 02:48:25 07/02/02 Tue
Author: Janice the Curvaceous
Subject: The Lord will surely SMITE the heathen and satanist and, um, the pogostick enthusiast.

Ouch! The Lord will not be mocked, you Lutheran poopy-butts. Get a clue, and read your Bible! Deuteronomy CLEARLY states that apostates and backsliders will be punished with plagues, crop failures, sexual malfunction, climatic catastrophe (the sky shall be as brass), and cannibalism (yer gonna hafta eat your own children, the Lord said so, nyah, nyah, nyah!) and a large lesion shall grow upon your secret parts. So ya just better straighten up and fly right!

Or, as Jesus would say, you are toast, bubba.

Now is that perfectly clear? Or do you have to go to your Bible and read Isaiah and Jeremiah too? Yes, read it and weep, you depraved Lutheran apostates. Only the TRUE CHILLUNS of God get into the Divine Vacation Resort, ie Heaven. Ouch! You boys are gonna burn like dry cowchips in a blast furnace.

Got asbestos?

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Replies:

The Lord will surely SMITE those who don't OBEY! -- QUITTNER, 11:29:34 07/02/02 Tue
- Quittner, I plan to coat my skin with ceramic tiles, rejects from the Space Shuttle manufacturers. -- Janice the Curvaceous, 01:27:07 07/03/02 Wed
  - Janice plans to coat her skin with ceramic tiles, rejects from the Space Shuttle manufacturers. -- QUITTNER, 09:56:25 07/03/02 Wed
    - Re: Janice plans to coat her skin with ceramic tiles, rejects from the Space Shuttle manufacturers. -- Jim Lacy, 16:51:29 09/19/03 Fri
      - Re: Janice plans to coat her skin with ceramic tiles, rejects from the Space Shuttle manufacturers. -- QUITTNER, 10:50:49 09/25/03 Thu

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