Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents -- Bob Geldof Message Board

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Date Posted: 07:59:22 06/06/05 Mon
Author: Vivien
Subject: Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents
In reply to: Lynne Lopatin 's message, "The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents" on 10:20:30 10/18/03 Sat

>Everything you say is a lie. My father loved Bruce, he treated me better than you ever did. Your just some angry woman who wants to blame everyone else. I hate you and you better stop talking trash about me cause your not my mom anymore. I thank God I am able to have a normal relationship with a man after what you put me through. Beating me, having porn and drugs in the house. I'd never hurt you because I am a better person than you could ever be. I should thank you because if it wasn't for all the crap you put me through I wouldn't be the person I am today. It's funny how everyone on this site agrees with you. You lost custody because you were a unfit mother, so don't blame it on my dad. You left when I was 3 and you cheated on him and in 1994 you ran off on me. Take some responibilty for yourself and stop blaming others.your never going to be happy until you can learn to let go. I don't know why your even doing this, you never loved me. Trust me when I tell you this I am not a threat to you. Unlike you I act like like an adult, you should do the some and move on, because I did.

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[> Re: The Rights of Non-Custodial Parents -- Sherry, 18:15:41 07/21/05 Thu

I also lost my 2 youngest children due to the lies of my ex-husband. My case is in Illinois.In 1998 he divorced me by going thru legal aid. He ran a newspaper ad saying he did not know where I was, when infact I was still living with him. I didnt read the newspaper back in 1998. However he had a court date that I was unaware of because I didnt answer this newspaper ad that I didnt know about. He was awarded custody. Then with his mothers help he took my 2 youngest boys and moved. I didnt know where they were and if they were okay. I searched and searched for them and by a mutual friend of me and my sisters we found them. In 2001
I went to there house and he tried to put a restraining order on me. Which that didnt hold up in court. I took the proper steps and got visitation to them. Course I was lucky to get to see them. It was whenever they wanted to allow them to come to my house. I learned that their father was involved in alot of "illegal" activities and wasnt even careing for the boys.
Eventually the law caught up with him and he was sent to the department of corrections and I was given custody back of the boys. Dureing the 2 in a half years I had them, my ex Husbands wife and mother called dcfs on me all the time. This really disruppted our lives. Especially my oldest son. Of Course There was never any abuse or neglect.
Dureing the time he was incarcerated I had to continue visitation with there stepmother. Several times they were told to refuse to come home and then they could stay with her. So me and my current husband spent many evenings sittin at the police station telling the boys that either they had to come home with me or they would have to put them in foster care. They always decided to come back home with me and their older brother.
My ex husband was released from prison the end of 2004.
He is on Parole untill 2006. He wanted visitation on Christmas of 2004 and I let the boys go to his house a couple days before Xmas. They never came home. Once again we was up at the police station and my ex husband was makeing terrible accusations. The police told him that the kids were in my custody and either they would have to come back home with me or they would be put in foster care.
The boys wanted to go to foster care (without knowing all the consequences) They explained it would be hard for either parent ot get them back. So the boys sat and begged me to let them live with there Dad. So I gave in and I wrote a letter to the judge and told him what had been going on and My ex would go above and beyond the Law to hurt me. It was and still isnt about the kids. I told him he can return the kids back to there Dad. They didnt want to live with me. So he granted the return of the boys to there Dad.
I have not seen or heard from them scince December23,2004.
However now all of a sudden I have to go to court again because now he wants health insurance on the kids. Actually his wife does. She has 2 kids as well as my 2 boys. They both draw foodstamps and have the kids on the medical card. They both have full time jobs,but dont want to financially take care of the kids.
I feel that he should be responsible for the 2 younger boys I have my oldest son to care for. Him and his family had virtually made it impossible for us to enjoy anytime we did have together. He lied and lied from the beginning because he loves these boys so much. So much that he has taught them to disrespect and hate there mother and live off the state. Now I am suppose to be responsible.
By the way the boys are 14 and 11 years old. Now mind you if I was such a terrible mother Would I still have my oldest son which is 15 now?
This whole ordeal has hurt him as well. His brothers in and out of his life and now they want help takeing care of them. So what? Do I have to take away from my oldest to give to the younger ones? What about my oldest his well being and emotions?
And why would the courts believe an ex con by running an ad in the newspaper to begin with? He has been in Prison 3 times. I never have!!! You would think a lightbulb would go on and a judge would see thru that. My youngest have been ruined Emotionally and physically. I imagine with the way they were taught they will noy live a very productive life. Hopefully the time they were here some of the "good values" we tried instill in them will be there.
They allready are very manipulative, sneaky,and whatever it takes to get there way. I dont blame that on my ex husband, because one day all the bad he has done will come back to him. But I do blame the court systems and the local police departments for allowing these children to be put in his care from the beginning.!!!!!!!And to give a child the option of going to foster care. I thought foster care was for children that didnt have any parents that cared. Nowadays they can say I dont want to live with my mom. And apparently they dont have to.Here at my house there are rules and at there dads house there are no rules. Oh they have a few but for the most part they can cuss,lie, steal, cheat,and for sure there is no religion. Here we go to church. I am just very dissappointed in the legal system.
There are what you call "deadbeat Custodial" parents to. I know because my ex wants the kids but has otherthings to spend money on besides health insurance. Heck the State will take care of thir medical and there food every month.And now possible come after me for a little extra cash...............!!!!!!!!!!!!

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