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Date Posted: 08:38:57 07/01/99 Thu
Author: Mr. Phule
Subject: What most readers don't know, is that stories like these are common place in California....heh heh heh
In reply to: Emrys 's message, "Tales from California! (read me)" on 20:32:18 06/30/99 Wed

La de da...heh heh heh

Well I just got back from my 10 hour shift as a security guard. Nothin' happened, really. A police officer stopped by at about 2, wondering what I was doing sitting in a car in an empty parking lot reading. I found that odd considering we had notified the police as to the the fact that we'd be out there, but oh well. I am also enjoying the silver lining of losing my job at the fair in that once I finish this post, I shall head off to sleep, not having to wake up in 3 hours to resume an even more boring job.

Of course, the result of my work is that my sense of time is now nonexistant. I honestly do not know what day it is. Really, I couldn't tell ya. Tuesday, Friday, Sunday, Monday....I'd believe any of 'em.

Anyway, as for California, well I must say I am rather amused about the episode with the Kim-impersonator. For those of you who have no idea what we're talking about, Kim would be one of my sisters.

Yea, you're an eater. Jeff was always pretty strong in that department as well. However, such things don't really impress me. What does impress me is that you actually ate everything off the McDonalds breakfast menu and didn't enter a state of comatose. I don't care for thier food at all....I find it makes me ill even to observe, much less consume. Burger King at least tastes good, McDonalds, uhg.

I like Wendy's, but for some reason, they can never get my order correct, which is rather annoying. Taco Bell, well I never really cared for them to begin with, and I have issues with Taco Bell because the people who supply them with the beans fired me for no real reason. Thus, to support Taco Bell is to support Basic American Foods, which is to increase thier political power which is to strengthen thier bid on global domination. They must have realized that I had a significantly greater chance of succeeding thus, and thought that firing me would end such a threat on my part. How little they know...heh heh heh

Other chains, eh..I'll just stick with Burger King thankyouverymuch.

And considering that I don't particularly care for eggs as it is, I must say that I find the thought of a ten-egg omelet nauseating. If I weren't sitting down, I'd have to sit down at the thought. As it is, I shall stand up, so that I can now sit down.

Much better.

As for the airplane, well, what they mean when they say "Re require that emergency parts be flown in." Well, that's just a cover up. You see, in reality, the Pilot just left the keys back at his house and he didn't want anyone to know, so they just tell you that if the plane were to attempt take-off it'd blow up and stuff.

Simple, no?

And stealing movies...tsk tsk tsk. Shouldna do that. It isn't nice. Not that I probably wouldn't do the same thing, but I'd have moral qualms beforehand. Of course, I always have moral qualms. But even if I didn't, I'd say I did, because I like using the word "qualms"

It's fun, try it.

Anyway, sleep is beginning it's assault on me, and I fear that any stuggle would be in vain, so without further adieu, I bid you all adieu.

-Mr. Phule
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

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