Subject:  A Christmas and New Year Story ???? |
Author:
Dai
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Date Posted: "Tue,Jan09,2007,17:36:30
Author Host/IP: 195.93.21.42
THE STORY SO FAR
It was Christmas day and the Battery club was open.
There were still a few people from the night before.
There was no doubt about it, some were definately the worse for the wear,could it be the drink or the damp glasses that was causing the sorry looks.
Surprisingly, Tich Cooper who had managed not to fall from his bar stool (a rare event)was asking Becky why he had run out of Tennents. Colin Beedham with his usual with and charm said............................
"Anyone seen Sid Snot".
Tomo entered the battery bar and was feeling so convivial he got a round in for everybody.
by passing round the tin lid with the usual delightful aroma of alcohol, urine and puke,
as the bar went quite, we heard a loud grunt and a groan from behind the bar,we looked at each other in shock, then Billy Vickers piped up is the bar open yet??????
"Of course its open" says Brigga,"when is it ever shut".
"Ill have six more lagers" says John Monday "Oh f*** I need a crap"
Off he goes to trap 3, sits down and decides he is going to puke,swings round, throws up, and craps on the floor.
"Thats what you get when you accept a free beer from Tomo"
" the reason you got the craps is not because you accepted a free beer off me....it was the barmans fault for not cleaning the pumps for a fortnight." said Tomo.
"Where is everyone" says Kev Russell.
"If they arn,t at home on leave they at the pads for dinner" says Linus.
"What about all the sprogs" pipes up Becky.
"In bed".
So off we go to find them.
There they are all tucked up in bed, sick from the night before.
"right you lot, out of bed"
So with just a blanket wrapped around them we drag them down to the bar.
"OK, you lot you can only leave this bar to get food to bring back to the bar or if you need a crap."
One of the sprogs" what about p*ss*ng ?"
" Window Tw*t " says Smudge Smith
The bar was slowly going quiet as all the sprogs fell off there stools . When in walked Jock Hendron Roaring at anything that moved "see you ya bassa" I'mm gonna do yu
Bacardi coke please becky. and easy on the coke !Shortly Jock fell into a pleasant slumber when in walked Perry Jones twiddling with his hair ( got to be part of the story great bloke even if he tried to kill me with a bed end)good old Bob Slocombe saves the day and my life gets the beers in and everyone is happy . then in walks John D'alquen who says, " I've just seen a pack of spanner bashers roaming the camp looking for things not to fix"
"Quick" shouts Brigga "lock the door,we don,t want them in,if they get near the beer pumps they will bugger them up and we will all be on shorts"
Despite some half hearted efforts at locking the door, the over consumption of Asbach proved that alcohol defeats the completion of even simple tasks.
Having gained entry, the spannerbashers carried out routine maintenenace on the beer pump resulting in the pumps being VOR'd as expected. Big Fat Taff began blubbing into his empty beer glass when............he suddenley had a brain wave (brain not been found since )
" we got cans and bottles "
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Re: A Christmas and New Year Story ????
Re: A Christmas and New Year Story ????