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Subject: If your name is Chad , read this.


Author:
Craig
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Date Posted: 07:32:59 07/11/05 Mon
 I woke up this morning expecting just another day at the office. That wasn't to be. What planet have I stumbled upon?

Back to the task at hand. Chad, I assume you know where Darian is and what she's doing. Otherwise this message will seem as cryptic to you as it does to me and I'm writing it. She can't get to a computer or phone until we're through which will be another two hours at the outside. Of course, that's assuming we can keep her in the chair and co-operating, which I've learned after only three hours of knowing her is a ludicrous assumption. However, short of using restraints, my only option is to follow instructions which are being barked at me at a speed no court stenographer could keep up with. She says you only work off a list so I've been appointed Craig's list. She finds that hilarious. I do not. I gather you've been sleeping and/or avoiding her for a day 1/2 (I'm surpised you didn't choose a self-induced coma if this is her normal pace.) I'm trying my best to transcribe it and an email is on it's way to you from me. I hope it makes sense to someone somewhere. I've never laughed so much in my life but advanced calculus is less confusing than this lovely woman. As we speak, I'm being reminded that this is very important. Twice, all caps? ok...VERY VERY important. Pause while we hold our breath and hope for....laughter...yes there it is. I think I've done what I'm supposed to. The list is on it's way. As an aside, if you are dealing with this on a daily basis and need some sedatives to slip in her water, I know a guy. We should speak.

Sincerely,
Craig Haisen
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
If your name is Craig take deap even breaths or tequila shotsDougie07:50:53 07/11/05 Mon

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