You "Vampire" Assholes -- Darian's Friends

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Subject: You "Vampire" Assholes

Author:
MikeyMike

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Date Posted: 17:51:09 04/22/05 Fri

Why do people persist in thinking they are vampires? Here's my humble opinion of these should-be-helmeted societal pimples. Your clothes suck, your fake teeth suck, your fake-ass Transylvania/Pittsburg accent sucks, your "widow's peak" hairstyle that was done WAY better by Count Floyd on SCTV sucks, and the fact that you claim to seek human blood to drink when you're a little pussy who had no friends in school, at work, or now, sucks.

In fact, everything about you sucks except your mouth, which is supposed to suck blood for real, but only just reaches your flaccid furry penis when you bend over in your dad's computer chair while watching the Goth Chick in the Foamy the Squirrel cartoons you so want to bang.

Once again, in the words of Bill Hicks, "Kill yourself. Suck a tailpipe, hang yourself, borrow a gun from an NRA buddy - kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself. Ok, back to the show."

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