| Subject: Re: Verbal Assault can lead to Violence |
Author:
Kyle
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Date Posted: 18:05:29 06/28/05 Tue
In reply to:
Dougie
's message, "Re: Verbal Assault can lead to Violence" on 13:43:44 06/28/05 Tue
Listen up, wench! Chad and I had a nice little chat today and he and Matty have been co-conspiring all week too. Now, we locked M/K in his cage because he's been annoying everyone. I hear he even sicked Joel on you. It's tough love, baby, tough love. So Chad and I have some rules. Strict adherence or we're sending Steve up there to watch you. Now, you decide. Who would you rather spend 24/7 with? A crazed injury lawyer older than God and annoying or young Chad, who in spite of his sad and tragic "Screech" disfigurement, makes you laugh constantly and loves you so much he went out and bought "Triumph the insult dog, Tom Cruise, and Kate Homely" puppets to entertain you with. So, house rules:
1-No discussion of the show, any show of any kind or film or whatever at all. Glenn told Mark he's not going to even be back in the office until after the holiday and he assures us that he told you several times to relax. No one's even around this week.
2-Multivitamin every single morning. And eat something! Other than ice. Chad knows where that foul protein powder we burdened you with is hidden and he's not afraid to use it.
3-If you insist on flying down the highway at 100 miles an hour with the top down, Screech drives (for your good and the good of all mankind) and he pays for the gas. I didn't tell him that part but I'm adding a clause. Chad, you better have Steve look this over before you sign off on it.
4-No working out until you feel better. And that includes sex. Of any kind. Boris will be confiscated until you're up and running at full speed. We know you're looking forward to the puppet show, but Chad stays fully clothed and no funny stuff. Try to worm your way out of that one and I'm telling O&A's sexbisquit that you're older than you look. Yeah, that's right, I went there!
5-No reading this message board.
6-At least one passage from the gospel according to Mikeymike daily.
We are all beyond happy that you are alive and well and finally got your head out of your ass, turned everything around and realized that hometown doesn't necessarily equal home. You're on fire and the response your getting from the e-mails you flooded the industry and your fans with is fantastic. But you don't have to take over the world in one week. So chill! And laugh with your freaks as often as possible because I know that's the most healing thing for you. If you break these rules, you will suffer. We're capable of evil, twisted torture. We studied at the feet of the master after all. And if the geek (sorry Chad, but it has come up in conversation) can't keep you in line, we know Matty can and he's only a two hour flight away.
xoxoxoxo
Kyle
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