If anyone's still reading Chapter 5,6,&7>>> -- OOC

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Date Posted: 18:31:21 11/19/02 Tue
Author: Glorindiel
Subject: If anyone's still reading Chapter 5,6,&7>>>
In reply to: Glorindiel 's message, "Chapter 4>>>" on 19:42:38 11/17/02 Sun

Chapter 5

-Disclaimer-
Glorindiel-Hey! Hey! Hey!
Karamono-(monotone) Yay.
Glorindiel-I have FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Eyes well up] Thank you to my faithful reviewers [and probably the only people who like these idiotic fics!!!!!!!

� My bestest buddy, Krista
� ?Milly Thompson? (Thank you for letting me use you as a model for Elrond)
� Katie (forgot your author name, SORRY!)
� Player 1
� Player 2
� Satan?s Angel/ Arielle
� Kalina
� Adoring, Marvelous Fan-Type Person
� Jackie
� Elizabeth: Spirit of Starlight Valley

Glorindiel- And, of course, thank you to me, cause without me, these people wouldn?t laughed so hard that they almost peed their pants or fell off their chairs (or in Jackie?s case, the couch)!!!!!!!!!
Karamono-What about me? Where?s the love?
Glorindiel-[Hugs the Musey-Type Thing] Thank you Karamono, for?. Uh?.something!
Karamono-Humph!
Glorindiel-No matter how much I like writing these fics, I don?t own Lord of the Rings (or the Wizard of Oz), alas, alack, alackaday!! [Pretends to cry]
Karamono-Let?s just move on to Chapter 5.
Random fans of this fic-YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-There I put you guys in this fic!!!!I did it !!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!
Karamono-Let?s just move on to the chapter, OK? The Disclaimer is long enough!!!!
Glorindiel-[Sadly, hanging her head] Ok.
CHAPTER 5

The VERY Diverse Fellowship-[Walking, walking, walking]
Pippin-If I may ask, does anyone know why everyone was wearing a dress back there? [Points over his shoulder to Rivendell, still in sight after an hour of walking]
Legolas-[Looks down at his robe, the runs behind a tree and changes into the outfit you see in the Movie, then he comes back] Nope. No idea why. [Whistle, whistle, whistle]
Gimli-why were YOU wearing a dress, Elf-Boy????!!!!!
Sam-[Catching Gimli?s drift] Oh, suuuuuuuure! That?s what you WANT us to think!
Legolas-You know, I?m beginning to feel like Dorothy in Munchkin Land!
Gimli-[Getting up (or as much as possible) in Legolas?s face] You say that again, Pretty-Boy!!!
Legolas-[Singing in a real high annoying voice] We represent the LULLABY LEAGUE!!!!!!!![Dancing around Gimli]
Gimli- [Kicks Legolas?you know?..down there?]
Legolas-[Mellow for the next hour]
Karamono-BOUNDARIES!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-[Laughing her head off]
Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo-[High five Gimli, Random cheers of] Go Gimli! Yeah! No more Legolas! See ya Pretty-Boy!!!
Gandalf-Now! Let?s make this journey halfway enjoyable if I have to be with you freaks!
Karamono-Gandalf?s right!!!!!
Boromir-[Turns on Karamono, but trips on a tree root] Oooffff!!!! [Looks up, spitting bits of grass and dirt out of his mouth] You?re not even part of this Fellowship!!
Karamono-[Yelling back at Boromir] I would hardly call this a FELLOWSHIP!!!!!!!!!
Aragorn-[Steps between them] Now, now, let?s listen to Gandalf.
Karamono-Oh, can it Goody-Two-Shoes-Type King-Person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel[Holds him back from inflicting pain upon one King-Type Person] Let?s go?..the police are waiting to take you to your nice, white, padded room. [Drags Karamono off]
Karamono-[Yelling all the cuss words under the sun at Aragorn]
Pippin-[Intelligent, for once] And they say I need mental help!!!!
Frodo-That was the freakiest thing I?ve ever seen.
All others-[Nod and agree]
Glorindiel-He? s usually not like this.
Karamono-[Being taken away in a dog-type carrier] And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren?t for you meddling sun of a b-[The door of the police car slams]
Pippin-Bye Mr. Deranged Person Muse!!!![Waves]
Merry-Pippin, shut up.
All others besides Merry and Pippin-[Nod and agree]
Pippin-[Eyes well up and get really big] Bu-bu-bu-bu [Chin quivers and he chokes out] But I thought we were BEST FRIENDS!!!!!! We joined the ?BEST FRIENDS FOREVER CLUB?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have the-the-the [Tears leak down his face] The ?BEST FRIENDS FOREVER RING?!!!!!! [Holds out hand and flips the lid of the ring up. An annoying song starts of Pippin and Merry singing:
?It?s the BEST FRIENDS FOREVER,
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER,
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER,
RING!!!!
Two little cutout figures of Merry and Pippin pop up and dance cheesily around the rim of the ring, then disappear at the end of the song, back into the ring]
Glorindiel-Please Note: I forgot to say that I do not own the scene of Karamono being taken away, I took that from the Scooby-Doo Movie (Which Rocks, by the way) and just put in Karamono instead of Scrappy-Doo. Also, I do not own the ?BEST FRIENDS FOREVER RING? song, that?s from Spongebob Squarepants, OK? So don?t sue me!!!!!!
Merry- [Eyes well up] No!!!!! We?re best friends, but I just got carried away!!!!!!!!! Forgive me PIPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pippin-[Spaced off, he has an extremely short attention span] OK! [Skips off like nothing ever happened]
Frodo-Take that back, THAT was the freakiest thing I?ve ever seen.
Gandalf-The sun is setting, we need to make camp. We have to walk into the sunlight, don?t look straight into the sun, you will blind yourself.
Pippin and Merry-[Look straight into the sun] 0o0! [Transfixed in the sun]
Sam and Frodo- [Each grabs either Merry or Pippin and drags them off]
Merry and Pippin- 0o0!
Boromir-Stupid little things, aren?t they?
The Next Day?
Gandalf-We have to go over the Mountain!
Aragorn-But It?s COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frodo-Too bad! [Kicks Aragorn in the shin]
Glorindiel-You guys are going to have to try to climb it by yourselves, cause I have to go and try to convince the police to let Karamono out. They know me. We?ve been there before.
Frodo-NO!!!!!!!!!!!WE NEED YOUR GUIDANCE!!!!!!!!! [Runs and hugs Glorindiel tightly] DON?T LEAVE ME WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-[Face goes all dopey] Ohhhhhhhh [Sighs]

Will Glorindiel ever tell Frodo how she feels?????????????????? Will the Fellowship make it up Caradras by THEMSELVES?!
Glorindiel- Not a chance!
Will Karamono get out of the asylum????????????????????????? Will anyone ever be sane again?????????????????????????????????????
Find out in Chapter 6?
Karamono-[I asylum] I WILL GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

Chapter 6

-Disclaimer-
At the Asylum?
Glorindiel-[Begging with warden] Please, I promise t watch him more carefully!!!!
Warden-[VERY Reluctant] Wellllllllllllll???OK.
Glorindiel-[Does a happy dance] YAY!!!!!!!!
Warden-[Looks at her like he should lock her up too] I?ll go get him, you???.just ???.stay here.
Glorindiel-OK
Warden- [Disappears into a white, padded, room to get Karamono]
Glorindiel-[Follows Warden, then sees nice, white, padded room] OOOOHHHHHH!!! [Runs into a vacant room] I?m on Caradras! I?m an elf Wheeee!!!!!!!!!
Warden-[Drags both Glorindiel and Karamono outside, then gives them the boot] You guys are TOO MENTAL TO STAY EVEN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-I hate the owners of asylums, every one I?ve set foot in, they kicked me out and said the same thing! I also hate the owners of Lord of the Rings cause it?s not me!!!!!

OK, I need to make some changes to my list of Faithful reviewers:
� Krista
� ?Milly Thompson?
� Kalina
� Katie (Forgot to look up your name when I was on the Net! I?m up right now at 10:03, bursting with Ideas, but can?t go find your name!)
� Casali
� Allie
� Marvelous, Adoring Fan Person
� Other Rabid Fan Person
� Jackie

(Sorry if I messed up anyone?s name or what thy call themselves! I?m trying to type the names fast cause I just got a good idea for what to happen!))
Glorindiel-We are sorry for anyone who now finds us Meaney-Type People for making Legolas run into the glass, I just found it hilarious at the time! Frodo is the Hottest to me, but I know MANY people who disagree with me, that Legolas is Hottest, so I will TRY to be fair to both groups of people!
Chapter 6

Frodo- COME BACK!!!!!!!!! WE NEED GUIDANCE!!!!!!!!
Gandalf-Don?t worry! At least our faces haven?t gone numb from frostbite yet!
Boromir-We don?t need another Mr. Rogers!!!!!!!!
Sam-Now, let?s all try to get along!
Aragorn-Can it, Hobbit-Boy! [Hits Sam with a frostbit hand, which immediately crumbles on contact with Sam?s head] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas-[Picks up pieces of Aragorn?s hand] Well, now we know we?re doomed!
All-GLORINDIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-[Appears in really warm snow gear] Mmmmm, nice and Toasty Warm!!! Oh, did someone call for me?
All-WE DID!!!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-YOU did? YOU, the MIGHTY FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING????????????? I?M SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pippin and Merry- PLEASE make us warm too!!!!!!!
Glorindiel-[Temptingly] Oh, you want to be warm too? What do you say? [Pulls paper out of pocket] Oh, here it is, you say:
WE THE MIGHTY FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING,
Weak Fellowship- WE THE MIGHTY FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING,
Glorindiel-DO AKNOWLEDGE THAT WE NEED HELP
Weak Fellowship- DO AKNOWLEDGE THAT WE NEED HELP
Glorindiel-FROM HER MIGHTYNESS, THE PERFECT, MARVELOUS,
Weak Fellowship- FROM HER MIGHTYNESS, THE PERFECT, MARVELOUS,
Glorindiel-LADY GLORINDIEL!!!!!!
Weak Fellowship- LADY GLORINDIEL!!!!!!
Karamono-[Sarcastically] I notice that you didn?t put ?BEAUTIFUL? n there
Glorindiel-I know, that?s because I?m n-HEY!!!!!!!!!!! That was mean!!
Karamono-[Dripping with sarcasm] NOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I could hardly guess!!!!
Glorindiel-Well, we need to help the Puny Fellowship!
Karamono-OK!
Glorindiel-[Stops the snow]
Karamono-[Makes the sun come out and a field of flowers sprout]
Glorindiel-that?s a bit too much, there, Karamono!
Karamono-Fine! [Takes away the sun and flowers and makes it warmer on the mountain, the snow starts to thaw]
Merry- Hey! Look! [Takes hold of Gandalf?s beard and breaks it off, being frozen and all]
Gandalf-NO!!! NOT MY BEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Pippin- Cool!!!!![Tries it on Boromir?s Goatee-type thing]
Boromir-Oh, no you don?t!!!!! [Pushes Pippin away]
Pippin-[Turns to Aragorn ad grabs his long Ranger-type hair and breaks a chunk off] Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It?s HARD!!!!!!
Aragorn-[Really P/O] Is it? Well, you just run along before I break the hair off of your toes, and break a few other things! [Murmurs really quietly] Like your neck!
Glorindiel-ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You have to go through the Mines of Moria because Saruman is commanding the mountain!
Frodo-Who?s Saruman????
Gandalf-Well it?s a long story??
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Flashback
Gandalf at Saruman?s Tower of Orthanc
Gandalf-Saruman I need your help!
Saruman-GANDALF needs MY help?!?!?!?!?! Ridiculous!
Gandalf- I DO! The Ring has to be destroyed!
Saruman- If you give it to me, then we can Rule!
Gandalf-RULE?!?!?!!?!?!!? [Rubs hands Greedily]
Saruman-Yes, join with me, Gandalf!!
Gandalf- NO!
Saruman-YES!
Gandalf-NO!
Saruman-YES!
Gandalf-YES!
Saruman-NO! Oh, poo! I hate reverse psychology, oh, well, I?ll have to imprison you on my tower until you join with me!
Gandalf-Okie Doke!
On the Tower of Orthanc?
Moth-[Fly, fly, fly]
Gandalf-[Catch] You know the whole scene in the movie, but there is one difference?
Gandalf-Mmmmm! Lunch![Eats moth] BUUUURRRPPPP!
Later?
Momma Moth (Imagine a really big moth, the size of Gwihire)- You ate my baby! Now you will pay!!!
Gandalf-NO! [Begging on knees] Saruman wouldn?t feed me! Your baby went to a good cause!
Momma Moth-OK! I?ll help you too, then. Just don?t eat me!!!!!
Gandalf-Deal
Gandalf and Momma Moth-[Fly away]
End Flashback
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Glorindiel-Well, that chapter got us nowhere really fast!!!!!!
Karamono-At least they are at the DOORS of Moria!
Glorindiel-Yeah!

Will the next chapter get us anywhere?????????????????? Will Karamono stay out of the asylum??????????????????? Will anyone ever be truly sane Again??????????????? Will Legolas have more to say in the next chapter?????????
Glorindiel-All you Legolas fans, I assure you, he will!!!!
Find out in Chapter 7!
Karamono-Only at the DOORS of Moria and we?re on chapter 7 already!!!!!!!!! This is going to be one LONG fan fic! You still have The Two Towers AND The Return of the King!!!
Glorindiel-I know! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karamono-[Moans] HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 7

-Disclaimer-
Glorindiel- OK, now, I have something serious to say! [Face goes serious] I do not own the Lord of the Rings! Aaaaaand??.[Takes Karamono from Casali and Allie] You don?t own Karamono!!!......................Well, actually I don?t either, but just don?t crush his bone! He needs them to be my muse!
Karamono-[Finally can breathe] Thank you!
Casali and Allie-[Grab Karamono and pull him back to pet] We won?t!
Karamono-NOOOO!!!!!
Glorindiel- Knock yourselves out. Karamono, I?ll call you when I need you! Toodle pip! [Leaves to go help the wimpy Fellowship]
Chapter 7

Legolas- Don?t despair! Gandalf will open the Doors Soon!
Frodo-HE FORGOT THE DAMN BLOODY PASSWORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gandalf-Open up, you [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP]?IN DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas-Soon??.Anytime now!
Pippin and Merry- [Throwing rocks into the water, trying to make the bigger splash]
Pippin-[Picks up HUGE boulder] HAHA Who?s gonna make the bugger splash, NOW?! [Throws boulder, makes a gigantic SPLASH!!!!]
The Watcher in the Water (The Giant Squid in the Movie)- OWWWW!!!!!!!!! My head! Grr! [Grabs Frodo?s leg, then wraps a tentacle around his neck. One tentacle starts petting Frodo?s head] You?re a CUTE one!!!!
Frodo-HELP!!!!!
Karamono-[Appears to help. Notices a thin line around the squid?s neck] Wait a minute!
[Pulls mask off of the ?Squid?]
Glorindiel-Uh, HI!![In the squid costume]
Karamono-[Drags her off] Let?s go
Glorindiel- But I was Soooooooooo close!
Karamono-Too bad!
Gandalf- Let?s see: Please open up, you son of a [BEEPIN] DOOR!!
Door-[Stays closed]
Gandalf-Open the [BEEP] up!!!!!!!
Frodo-[Recovered from ?Squid incident?] How about for some CRAZY idea try the Elvish word for ?Friend??
Gandalf-Why?
Frodo-Oh, maybe because it says, ?Speak friend and enter??
Gandalf-[Shrugs] Good enough reason for me! Mellon!
Doors-[Open]
All-YAY!!!!!!! [Run in to get away from the crazed Glorindiel]
Doors-[Crumble, trapping them inside the Mines of Moria]
All-AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gandalf-Well,
We can go around it,
Can?t go under it,
Can?t go over it,
We gotta go through it!
Glorindiel- Note-I heard that chant-type thingy somewhere before and you know the whole thing about history rearing its ugly head and coming back to bite you in the ass? That just happened.
Karamono-WHAT THNG ABOUT HISTORY COMING BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS???????!!!!!!!! Uh, oh! Um, I gotta go see a certain person about a certain something! [Disappears]
Glorindiel-Just realized the mistake of taking him OUT of the asylum. [Follows him]
Gandalf-Well, we?d better get this whole ?Long Journey in the Dark? over, so let?s go!
All-[Start their walk in Moria]
The Next Day?
Legolas-We?ll never get out! We?ll starve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hair will go limp!!!!
Gimli-Can it, Pretty-Boy! You?re the best looking one of us here!
Glorindiel-Besides Frodo and Me, of course!
Legolas-I?m THIRD!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gimli-Well, I?m last!
Legolas-GOOD!!!!!!!!!
Much Later?
All-[Come to the Room with Balin?s tomb in it]
Gimli-[passed out at the sight of the Coffin]
Frodo-We need to move! I have a feeling that Pippin is going to do something stupid again, he has THE LOOK!!!!!!
Gandalf-Shut up! We?ll be heard!
Pippin-[At the top of his lungs]
WEEEEL, THE OLD GREY MARE SHE AIN?T WHAT SHE USED TO BE!
AIN?T WHAT SHE USED TO BE!
AIN?T WHAT SHE UESD TO BE!
WELL, THE OLD GREY MARE SHE AIN?T WHAT SHE USED TO BE,
MANY LONG YEARS AAAAGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

MAY LONG YEARS AGO!
MANY LONG YEARS AGO!
THE OLD GREY MARE SHE AIN-
Merry-[Covers Pippin?s mouth]
Gandalf-[Runs to Pippin] FOOL OF A TOOK!
Frodo-HEY!I WANTED TO SAY THAT!
Gandalf-OK [Sighs]
Frodo- [At the top of his lungs] FOOL OF A TOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESS!!!!! I LOVE TO SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!![Does a happy dance]
Faraway sound(Sounds like drums)-BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!
Gandalf-Listen! Faraway Sounds that sound like drums!
All-Uh,Oh! [Prepare to fight, which includes Aragorn throwing up all of his previous meal, just thinking of the blood and guts]
Goblins-ROAR! GRR! ARGG! BLAH!
[A bunch of fighting takes place and Aragorn is found passed out dead at seeing that he had a paper cut from a dwarven ledger book]
Goblins-[Bring in big Cave Troll, No not like the one in Harry Potter! Unlike that one, this one?s REAL! So, Nyah Harry Potter!]
Karamono-I guess I need to explain what that was all about! In Iowa, where Glorindiel lives, the stupid movie reviewer-type guy gave Lord of the Rings 3 � stars! Can you imagine!! Harry Potter got the full 5! Sheesh! Even THAT pissed ME off!
Cave Troll-[Stabs Frodo]
Frodo-[Gasping for breath]
Glorindiel-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Tries to run to him]
Karamono-[Stops her] No! You?ll get KILLED out there!
Glorindiel-But FRODO could be KILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karamono-You?ve read the Books!
Glorindiel-Yeah, so?
Karamono-You know that he doesn?t get killed!
Glorindiel-But! He could be HURT! He could have gotten a Boo-boo!
Karamono-[Whacks her with his bat]
Glorindiel-?x_x?
After the Battle?
Gandalf-[Runs to Frodo]
Sam-[Gets there first] Mr. FRODO!!!!!!!!!!!
Frodo-What?
Sam-You?re alive!
Aragorn-[Revived after puking again] That rod could have skewered a wild boar! You should be dead!
Frodo-Yeah, but I?m not, so deal with it, Ranger-Boy!
Gandalf-Frodo! I so glad that you?re alright! [Helps him up] Now, we must try to leave as fast as possible. TO THE BRIDGE OF KHAZAD-DUM!

Will the Fellowship make it to the bridge? Will Glorindiel give her least favorite characters more lines *CoughSam,Boromir,AragornCough*?
Glorindiel-[Laughes Evilly] NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will anyone ever be sane again?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Find out in Chapter 8!
DunDunDun!!!!!!!!
Karamono-PLEASE! SOMEONE, ANYONE! BE SANE! BE SANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Replies:

Chapter 8>>> -- Glorindiel, 18:55:38 11/21/02 Thu
- *claps* keep them coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (NT) -- Skyfox, 11:12:04 11/24/02 Sun
  - Karamono's cool!!!! (NT) -- ******, 11:15:09 11/24/02 Sun