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Date Posted: 00:20:29 01/29/03 Wed
Author: Hardcore Khan
Subject: HCK on the show

We are taken to a set with a full audience. A network show. NBC's Tonight Show with Jay Leno. So far the first guest has already been announced. The show is currently coming off of a commercial break as the band is seen playing. The fans are told to applause as the show is back on the air. Jay Leno is seen on the set sitting with George Foreman with his Grill in placed in front of them. Obviously, Foreman has been plugging it.

Jay - Ok my next guest is a professional wrestler. You can currently catch him on tour with the CWF in Far East. Please welcome Hardcore Khan!

The fans are once again told to applause as Khan comes from behind the side curtains. HCK is seen wearing a grey smart pinstriped suit, with a white shirt and sharp blue tie, with his hair gelled and styled in the usual spikey roughed fashion. As he approaches the stage, George Foreman stands up with his hand out. They both shake hands. Khan then shakes hands with Leno while the band plays the James Bond theme while he shows himself to the audience. The music stops and the audience sets to a calm as Khan takes his seat.

Leno - Hey thanks for being on the show tonight.

Khan smiles and replies with the usual clipped British accent.

HCK - Its an honour. I watch the show while im on the road.

Leno - Now tell us about this CWF. I mean, who's the champ?

Khan looks a bit confused and starts thinking, as if he is trying to remember who it is.

HCK - I think it's Marilyn Manson or something like that.

Leno - They got them in wrestling too? What about you? Are you a champ?

HCK - Hey, I didn't come here so you can rub it in my face. But yeah I'm a champ, I'm the ladies champion of the bedroom!

Khan smiles and points out to some of the women as they give out an 'ooooh' sound for the viewers at home. Leno shakes his head and smiles out of politeness.
As Khan is about to open his mouth to say more, George Foreman gets a sudden urge to promote his Grill.

George - HCK, nobody wants to know about your bedroom fantasies, but have you ever tried the George Foreman Grill?

HCK - No i dont think i have. I usually eat Indian food.

George - No no son thats not the way. Dont let the devil's grease takeover your body. You see with the George Foreman grill, I take a knockout punch to all that useless grease.

HCK - Ok thats good but can i finish?

George - And you see, You can cook your best meats on the grill and save yourself the time slaving over a hot stove, and see the best part of it is, this is only the george foreman junior.

George Foreman looks behind the seat and pulls out a much bigger grill. Khan shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Jay just sits back smiling and continues drinking his water.

George - Here's my baby. The George Foreman Daddy mack. This one is the big dog. You can cook three hamburgers on this bad boy. And if we could Jay i would like to hook this up and demonstrate to you.

The fans applause. HCK lowers his head, seemingly jealous from the attention going to George Foreman and grabs his ears while George looks for a place to plug up the grill. He fails in finding one.

George - You know what, thats okay because i got another one. Check this out!

Foreman pulls out a smaller grill

George - This is the George Foreman portable grill. You can take this baby on trips with you. You can cook while your on a plane. Hey Khan, You can use this while your on the road. Now is that great or what? It packs a hell of a punch. Anyway, sorry Khan, didn't mean to take up on your airtime!

Kevin Hughbanks is seen on the side laughing his ass off along with band members.

Leno - So Khan, some of the viewers and those in attendance must be dying to know, what have you got planned for the Tokyo Dome against Matt Thornhill?

HCK - Glory? Me? At the Tokyo Dome? No no no, you got it all wrong, I'm not working. I'm taking time off, straight after this show I got a car waiting outside ready to take me to the airport, I got a flight to catch, I'm going to promote a new radio show.

HCK - Yeah, so tell us about the radio show.

HCK - Well, it's just like your usual broken-marriage help line radio show, just call in and tell us your problems. It's a new radio show, and for the first 2 weeks I will be heavily featured answering calls, helping out, giving something back to the community. Every now and then, a woman will be bored of her boyfriend or her husband, she'll need some excitement back in her life and that's when she will need HCK to hit her right in her hot-spot!

Khan grins and Leno laughs, but George looks confused and decides to make a smart comment.

George - You know Khan, In all my tears of boxing, I never EVER hit a female. Never.

HCK - What's your point?

Jay Leno quickly eases the slight tension between the two.

Leno - Okay, Khan, now what do you think Matt Thornhill will think about you not confirming anything about your match?

HCK - What do you mean?

Leno - I mean, Thornhill seems like a competitive guy.

HCK - I don't care.

George - Hey Khan! How old is Thornhill?

Khan seemingly puzzled with all the questions about another wrestler answers the question with a monotone voice.

HCK - I don't know.

George - Hey, do you think he would like one of my Grills?

George Foreman and Jay Leno laughing and smiling look on at at Khan expecting him to answer this question.

HCK - Look! I dont know!

George - Hey chill out Khan, shall I make you a French toast?

HCK - French toast?

Leno - That'll be great George, let's whip one one up!

George - Sure, Khan make sure you let your friends and Matt Thornhill know how great they are. Not to mention that when Matt Thornhill buys my product, he'll not only get great tasting healthy food, he'll get a three year warrantee and a free muffler!

Khan obviously has had enough and stands up in front of George and Jay.

HCK - No no no!

Khan starts yelling.

HCK - YOU CANNOT COOK FRENCH TOAST ON THE DAMN GRILL! AND I'M NOT FRIEND'S WITH THORNHILL AND STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM!!!

The whole studio sits in silence as Khan gets upset and leaves the set.
Jay Leno is heard saying "We'll be right back" and the crowd is once again told to applause. The camera fades out the scene as both Foreman and Leno talk during the break.


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