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Date Posted: 01:36:12 12/29/02 Sun
Author: TJ Raven
Subject: sit and have a drink

*The scene could open on any scene but it doesn't it opens on this scene. An outside shot of Sheri's Ranch in Pahrump, NV. Neon lights flash and the "girls, girls girs" sign just calls out to the horny youth that come and go. inside the dimly lit sports bar adjacent to Sheri's sits TJ Raven, sipping at a Coke and watching some guy play pool with his girlfriend. TJ dressed in all black, as usual just sits and mutters to himself before eventually beginning to speak, seemingly to no one in particular*


TJ: You know it boggles the mind. I come to this bar regularly, and no matter how many times I see it I don't understand it. A man brings his girlfriend to a brothel? I mean I try to understand it but it doesn't make sense, why would any sane man bring his girlfriend to a brothel? That's like someone willingly having a match with me. It's just a silly and crazy idea.

*As TJ continues to mumble about the mysteries of the brothel girlfriend situation a face familiar from TJ's former wrestling federations walks in. His former, and possibly current interviewer, Anita, Anita Dickenme. She casually walks up to TJ and speaks in a soothing, calming voice*

Anita: TJ, can you hear me TJ?

TJ: I hear you.

Anita: Well TJ, you've just arrived here in the CWF, and already for your debut match they have you in a spectacular tag-team matchup against Hardcore Khan and "Diamond" Bret Healey. What are your feelings on that?

TJ: *seeming somewhat annoyed by the elementary questions being asked, answers*What are my feelings on this? What the hell is this a group therapy session? What are you feeling? How are you feeling? Is my goddamn sunburn peeling? I don't know how I feel, who did you say I was facing again? Is there a roster or something I can look at to find out?

*Anita hands TJ a printout of the current wrestling roster and statistics of the CWF*

TJ: mm-hmm Okay so we have Hardcore Porn and Bret Hart against me and who?

Anita: Actually TJ, that's Hardcore Khan and Bret Healey vs. You, and "The Great One" Kevin Williams.

TJ:Mmmm okay, well from what I'm reading here it says Hardcore Porn is from England and Bret Hart is from England light.

*Anita stares at TJ blankly*

TJ: I meant Australia, geez woman you never could take a joke. Okay so we have Hardcore Khan? Is that right? and Bret Healey, against myself and this Kevin Williams guy right?

*Anita nods*

TJ: Very well. Okay fellas. Let's discuss business. We're gonna have ourselves a little round-about. Fine. But there are rules to my matches, like no rules. We can hook it up and you boys can bring all your technical mumbo-jumbo, but all that won't mean jack in a match against me. I'm talking about a no DQ, no count -out, razor wire, japanese death match from hell, tag team style. I have another match in mind but I'm saving that one for someone who really deserves to go down in history with me for the most brutal match.... ever. So you come to the event in Cairo with your luscious ladies Hardcore Khan and your keather pants Bret....

Anita:*interupting* Actually TJ, that's leather pants.

TJ: It is not! Geez, I'm sitting here reading the man's bio thing it says he wears keather pants. What do you think I am crazy or something? Like I can't read?

*Anita walks over to read the roster bio for Bret Healey and sure enough it says keather pants*

Anita: *embarassed* Oh my mistake, it does say keather pants.

TJ: See. I told ya it did, so like I was saying before I was so *SHOUTING*RUDELY interupted, you bring your ladies and keather pants boys and we'll bring the pyramids to the ground, and Kevin Williams, well all you gotta do is show up and look spiffy for the crowd while I take care of business.

* a sadistic grin spreads across the lips of TJ, disappearing just as quickly as it appeared as he notices the pool playing couple again out of the corner of his eye. TJ jumps from his seat and runs over to the pool table screaming "Who are you people?" And "What kind of goober brings his lady to a whorehouse?" as the scene fades with security closing in on TJ*

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