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Date Posted: 22:13:58 12/27/02 Fri
Author: Hysteria
Subject: Drinking and Driving

Scene opens in the back of a long stretch limo leaving from the PPV. Hysteria is sitting in the seat looking up at the TV and taking shots of whiskey. His life-long friend and cousin, Tommy (aka- Sheer Torture, long retired), passes him a new shot every time Hysteria downs one. Tommy also keeps up his own alcohol intake with shots of vodka...The limo hits a large pothole and pops up slightly and Hysteria drops the shot glass and gets it on his pants..


Hysteria: Sh*t! I just bought these things and they have to be dry cleaned now...Ohh well..Hey, pass me a shot of your vodka would ya?


Tommy passes his own freshly poured glass to Hysteria then gets him another one..


Hysteria: Thanks man...Ahh that was a great show man!! I wasn't planning on getting any action, just sitting around on my ass...But when Hitman came in there and was rude as all hell in front of the VP....Well, nevermind...more the VP's family ya know...Kid and all....That's just rediculous..


Tommy: Dude, since when did you start getting all mushy? Back in the day I would have kicked your ass for being soft like that.


Hysteria: Back in the day, you're right....You're a little too out of shape now huh? Haha, just playing....It's just that now with the new daughter and wife..Well, I wouldn't want my little girl growing up thinking it's okay to be an arrogant waste of millions of years of evolution...Hitman's still trapped in the ugly primate stage...Just a big monkey with a funny face...He'd do well in a zoo, kids would get a good laugh..


Tommy and Hysteria laugh as the limo hits another bump and both instinctively down their shots to avoid the spill...


Tommy: So, any idea about your first match yet? Ya think Hitman will want revenge?


Hysteria: I don't care if he does or not....First of all, his chimp ass might not even be around much longer...Ya see how much damage I did to him with just a steel chair? I can do more with just my fists...If he can't take that and go on to a match, I don't see why the guys in the offices would want to keep such a lameass...Second, if he is still around I probably scared the crap out of him and he'll keep away from me....and hopefully not be such a dick to other people..


Tommy: How right you are...Damn, I can't believe you even went back to wrestling....Two years ago you were just...Well, screw it is a good term...Back in EWWF I think you beat pretty much everyone at least once and got tired of it........Now you've gone back, which means less time to drink with your homie..


A fake frown and a tear wiping gesture from Tommy brings a huge roar from Hysteria...The commotion worries the limo driver and he rolls down the window between the front and back to check on things..


Limo Driving Dude: Excuse me sirs, just making sure everything is okay...Everything is..okay, right?


Hysteria: Yeah man, everything is kewl...You want a shot?


Limo Driving Dude: But...I'm driving..!!


Tommy: It's okay man, one shot won't kill ya...I don't know if it would even put you over the legal limit....Wait, what proof is this? Haha, who cares!!!.....Here, drink it man...It's cool..


Tommy passes the limo driver a fairly large shot...Hysteria lights a cigarette and snickers because Tommy mixed the whiskey and vodka...which explains why it's a pretty tall shot full.....Just then, another damn pothole and the driver spills the drink and swerves a little...A pair of flashing lights pulls out behind them followed by a siren.....The driver pulls over and gets extremely nervous....Tommy and Hysteria are in the back still laughing, unaware they were even pulled over...They finally look back, then look at each other, then up at the driver....


All Three: Sh*t!!


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