| Subject: Need prayer |
Author:
Hulalea
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 12:50:11 05/17/07 Thu
Well, we've been separated since January 5th when my husband decided to live at his shop. He was getting uncomfortable with the life at home where we go to work, come home, have dinner, spend time together with our kids and go to church every week. We also ran a Christian-based recovery group for addicts and co-dependents weekly. He played music for church services and was training to be a deacon. I could see him struggling with his "entitlements" and self-focused, self-pity ways. I could see how he would meditate on what he's not getting in his life (basically the freedom to do whatever he wants when he wants without anyone saying no to him, regardless of if it hurts the marriage). His self-control was me which I got slammed for everytime I would ask him to think before he does, etc. I was told, "you always say no to what I want" with money issues and basically things that are not healthy for family growth. He felt that the standards that he was held to were too much and that even though they were Biblical and what he wanted initially, they became MY rules. Basically telling me that I was trying to control him. When he would leave in the middle of the night because we weren't doing well, I would call and ask where he is and he would say "there you go accusing me again". There is a huge difference between asking and accusing. Although I don't think he was using at the time, I had no doubt of the horrible character defects not changing for the better for real. I will not allow this to happen in my life again. He lives in a room that he rents about 15 miles away and has lost his really good job "because the boss is a jerk". I see all of this unfolding but this time - I walk with Jesus daily, well, hourly. He holds me and guides me because I am asking for it and I want to be in His will.
I am going to the family court office after I am done writing this to start the divorce preceedings. I have learned through the Bible, this site, Al-Anon and church that my life is much more valuable than to allow someone else's selfishness and self-worship to rip off my peace. My family, friends and recovery group have been so awesome in addition to all of you here. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for all of you. God is great and I know that at this time He is with me.
Hulalea
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 