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Subject: How I explain this to my son


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 14:15:43 08/13/07 Mon

Ok well first of all, today I found out that my nephew asked my son about his dad and my son said, "I don't have a dad. Well I do but he is not around."

I was shocked to know he said that. And at age 6 at that. I know as he gets older, he will not really care too much about his dad. He is the type of boy that just wants a dad no matter if its Spencer or some other man that will pay attention to him. Last winter he asked my friend Juan if he would be his dad. He loves my friend Juan, so I asked him to be his Godfather.

Anyhow, how I explain to my son about his father is how I think he will understand. I was told by the counselors to tell him the truth always. So I do. I tell him that his dad uses drugs. I explain to him what drugs are. He asks questions and I explain to him that Tylenol is a drug, but it is a legal drug for pain. What your dad takes are illegal drugs that people make and use poison. I also let him watch COPS with me and show him that most of the people that are getting in trouble on this show are using drugs. He gets to see their behaviour, he also gets to see the drugs. I tell him that drugs makes his daddy really sick and that he needs to see a doctor to get help to get better but that he has to want to quit using the drugs and his daddy doesn't want to quit. I explain that his daddy gets violent, gets moody,tell lies,and stays away all because he chooses to use drugs. I do tell him that it is hard to stop but he has to want to stop using. I explain what the drugs do to his mind, his body and that his daddy does love him but cannot be a daddy while on these drugs. We should pray for him to want to quit using them and get better.
When he would see him he would think his dad was better but Spencer and I has an agreement that he would tell his son that he was sick so our boy never thought I was lying. I told his dad that I tell him the truth and me being the only parent in his life, he should never make me seem like I am trying to keep him from him, that would only hurt my sons life when in reality it is his father that has the drug issues ans stays away.

ANyhow, Saturday evening we came back from our neighbors barbeque and in our yard was a new bike and a bag with other gifts. He asked if he could call him to thank him and I said yes but not to ask for him to come over because he is still using drugs and it will only make you sad if you only see him one time.
He called and said thank you and he loved him, over and over. and then he said dad I don't even know how to ride a bike. ANd the toys you sent me, you sent the wrong batteries. Why didn't you send the right batteries?

So there's that.

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Re: How I explain this to my sonShari12:07:41 08/14/07 Tue


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