| Subject: I'm a mom trying to cope with daughters addiction |
Author:
Bren
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Date Posted: 22:35:40 02/22/06 Wed
Hi everyone.
I'm new here. I found your site while searching for a support group. I don't know how to keep this short, but I will try.
My beautiful, smart, 25 yr. old daughter is a meth addict.She says she has been using off and on for the past 7 years, and has always been able to stop. Her x husband said they used to Binge use. Funny, I never noticed anything until this past 6 months. She quit her job as a surgical tech, which she loved. She has lost her house, her car and her looks. She has custody of her three children, though you would never know it because she hardly ever sees them. They are usually dumped on me to keep.and yes that makes me angry as hell. Lately thier dad has been helping, but my daughter has so screwed him over he can't really support the kids. He has child support taken out of his pay, and he has had the kids since before christmas. Can't afford a lawyer, Legal aid takes too long, meanwhile she uses the child support to get high.
She has lied and manipulated us all. Once my husband and I caught on we stopped all cash flow. No gas money , no cig money nothing. She stole money from her little sister. I no longer keep more than 20.00 in the house. Locked up the jewelery, etc. Just before Valentines day, she steals my credit card and a couple checks from my wallet. I usually have it hidden but she hadn't been home in weeks so I felt a small measure of safety. Taught me! She ran up 1500 dollars in one day! had someone take my check to the bank and cashed it for 800. Now you would think that was bad enough. Thankfully we won't be responsible for charges and the bank will put the money back. all good right? wrong...she stalked our mailbox and stole the replacement cards when they came in, activated it and ran it up!!! We live in rual county, and the box is a block away from the house. I had the locks re-keyed, filed a report told the sherrif who did it,I even told them I would set her up so they could arrest her, as she has no address. I just figure she will be safer in jail than the street.
I know this isn't our fault. But she has a way of making me feel it is.We used to be so very close. We talked several times a day, and about died if we couldn't see each other at least once a week. She was a good mom.How can she turn her back on her children? I don't understand. I get tough love, and have been doing pretty good using it. I mean if she calls and is hungry, I will take her something to eat. But no way is she allowed in our home. Now that we got a PO box she can no longer ransack the mail, I am waiting for our home to be burglarized. I reconize a desperation in he. She is so out of control.I am working on her ex as he is having guilt for getting her started on the meth.as well he should. But he has stepped up and is trying to be a good dad. She keeps calling him telling him she is cold and hungry, can he please come get her. I may be wrong, but I told him she needs to be cold and hungry. I have told him that she can never fall if we don't let go. I truly believe that. But I want it to happen quickly so she can begin the healing process. I mean how much more can she endure?
I am so tired all the time. We have a set of 13 year old twins that I have to nurture, a wonderful husband, Val's father, and three grandchildren who have been tossed in our laps. I am emotionaly drained. Yet everyday brings a new drama from her drug induced world. This beautiful girl weighs 111 lbs. down from 124 a year ago. Her face is horrible with pock like marks on it. her long beautiful blond hair is dull and tangled. She goes from one man to the next. She has never liked being alone but this is crazy.
I'm sorry for rambling on and on, please forgive me. I'm excited and relieved to find a support group to help me feel like I'm not alone. I have isolated myself, too embarressed to go to church. I feel I need to stay home to protect what we have left.
Anyway that is the scoop on my situation. Thank you for letting me spill my guts.
Bren
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