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Subject: New user would like some advice


Author:
Tammy R
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Date Posted: 10:14:49 02/09/06 Thu
 Hi I am new and have been reading what everyone has to say. Everyone has good advise and I need some so I thought I would give it a go.

My daughter is a meth addict, as far as I know she has been clean for about 2 months maybe a little longer. She started using meth around the summer of 2004. At the time she was only 18 yrs old with a 15 month old little girl and was living at home with us.

To make a long story short, her addiction started affecting our whole house hold. She was neglecting her baby, staying at places where meth was being made with the baby. She was also in a relationship with the baby's father that was very violent.

In Dec of 2004 my husband and I kick her out of the house, got a lawyer and filed for emergancy guardinship of the baby(we had offered to help our daughter but she refused to accept the help or to get a job and finish school). I thought at the time that this would wake my daughter up and that she would get cleaned up in order to get her baby back. Well it has been over a yr now and she has not done one thing that the judge told her.

She is now living with the father of the baby and is still not working. For the last year it has been a roller coaster with our relationship. She does good for about 2 months and trys to get her daughter back then out of the blue she is back on the meth again and for another 1 to 2 months she doesn't come see her daughter and she is very mad at us. Then the cycle starts again. Each time that she starts doing good I try to help her as much as I can..giving her rides to work..giving her another chance at coming to our house for visitation. But each time that she falls down she is right back to hating me, blaming me for taking her daughter...you know how that goes.

The last time that we had a falling out was right before Christmas...she got angry at me because I would not allow her boyfriend(the baby's father) over at our house to open Christmas. A few days later she was acting like nothing ever happened. The next day she called me and told me that her boyfriend was possessed by the devil and he was hearing voices telling him to kill her family(as in me and my family). I told my daughter that she needed to get away from him and once again offered to help her come up with some solutions,I was not going to solve it for her. It ended up that she stayed with him and I told her that I did not want to have contact with either one of them until they got help. My daughter swore that they had not done any drugs.

My husband and I have been talking about adopting our granddaughter and here is where I need some advice. My daughter claims to be clean, she still does not have a job, she still lives with her boyfriend. I really do not know if she is clean or not because she has not really spoke with me since Christmas. Neither one of them have paid childsupport the entire time that we have had the baby. In May of this year we will be able to have her rights terminated and we will be able to adopt if she does not pay any childsupport by then. My question is, what if she is really trying this time, is it right to go in and take all of her rights away. This is costing us our savings and we have three other children at home. One of the reasons that we want to adopt is because everytime she gets mad she tries to cause problems and it cost us money with our lawyer(she has a court appointed lawyer so this is costing her nothing). Another reason we want to adopt is because our granddaughter has been with us for almost 2 yrs now, she will be 3 in Feb. She knows her mother but does not have any bond with her. If my daughter was to get her back it would tear her up, she would have a completly different lifestyle. She has been stable with us and I know that if my daughter got her back now then she would be moved from house to house and would be dealing with the violents fights that my daughter has with her boyfriend. Still is it my right to keep her daughter from her? Even if we do adopt we want her to have contact with her daughter. I just don't know...I know that if the adoption does end up going through it will knock my daughter futher down and I am afraid of what will become of my daughter but at the same time I am afraid of what will become of this little girl if we don't protect her. Any imput would be great. I am sorry this is so long.
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: New user would like some adviceHeather10:33:02 02/09/06 Thu
Re: New user would like some adviceMike10:43:07 02/09/06 Thu
Re: New user would like some adviceKel12:10:43 02/09/06 Thu
Re: New user would like some advicemethmess11:39:37 02/11/06 Sat
Re: New user would like some advicebill15:48:48 02/12/06 Sun
Re: New user would like some advicebill18:31:32 02/12/06 Sun
Re: New user would like some advicesister of addict18:08:35 02/15/06 Wed
Re: New user would like some adviceDANA20:38:20 02/20/06 Mon
Re: New user would like some adviceMatthew23:09:45 02/22/06 Wed

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