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Subject: Re: ooohhh I am so angry


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 09:36:03 02/24/06 Fri
In reply to: Lori 's message, "Re: ooohhh I am so angry" on 07:14:36 02/24/06 Fri
 Thanks Lori. Yes I have had enough. I've been waiting all these years for this. I still feel guilt in the pit of my stomach because my baby loves his daddy and somewhere deep in Spencer's heart, he loves his son. I know in my HEART that I am doing what is right for my son and for me and my other son. He is so broken up and asked for him last night and I had to explain to him again that his daddy is sick and that he does love him. He hasn't seen him in almost 3 weeks and already the loving boy that I once knew is coming back. The anger is fading slowly. This is what is best for him cause when he is angry, he is angry at the world. And he is only 4 years old. The director of his school is a Child Physcologist and she spends alot of time with him and has told me in the past that I should stop any visitations because she can always tell when he has been around and it isn't a good thing. She met my husband at a counseling session and told me that he was still using. I didn't believe her. But he still was. She told me friend to friend, I think you should let him go.

So anyways....I feel ok. I have been getting better as each day passes. I am glad I mentioned the words Restraining Order, because hopefully just the words will keep him away. I will get one if I have to. But it feels great setting boundaries and sticking to them. My stomach only hurts when I hear from him or the person he lives with. Bernie is a nice man who is know being put through this turmoil and I just cannot be told anymore about what he is or isn't doing. My life is going on and faster than I thought but at the right pace for me. I am realizing that not only am I creating boundaries for this situation but for my LIFE. and that is a good thing. I'm proud of myself cause I am learning the different steps to take to make sure I don't end up with a user again.

Thanks Lori- I really do appreciate you and all your advice, stories, and everything else you offer. I am very proud of you. You give people hope for life.
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Re: ooohhh I am so angryLS14:50:20 02/24/06 Fri

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