It's been awhile -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: It's been awhile

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 16:25:35 03/13/08 Thu

I haven't posted in such a long time. Heather, glad you and your boys are doing so well and you are learning to have boundaries!
I haven't been on here in a long time b/c honestly -I was so over it and my ex. I also had a major surgery and was out of commission for weeks -and I quit smoking! Yea me!
As soon as I was cleared from my Dr. I hit the gym -so excited to be healthy after my surgery and no longer smoking. I got on the treadmill feeling so good, looked up, and there was my ex! Grrr....I cried all night b/c I was trying to be healthy -mentally and emotionally -and there was was -at my darn gym -saw him the next day too!! We didn't speak, and he hasn't been back since (probably switch gyms afraid I would make a scene). Here's the thing:
He looked good -healthy, weight gain, -sad to say even handsome. However -still no job (on record) and still no child support (owes me over $15,000 and counting).
I'm not sure if it was b/c I saw him, or b/c of my new healthy attitude lately, feeling good, attending a new church I love, or what...but I have been thinking of him A LOT....actually feeling sorry for him, and wanting to reach out to him/talk to him. However - as I type this I think "Forget that...after all he has done to me and my daughter, why would I go back to that unhealthy situation?" My daughter still hates him and he hasn't done a THING to make anything 'right' - so....
Why am I having all these mushy feelings towards him again? My brain is seriously in conflict from being angry to forgiveness....from wanting to never see him again to wondering how he is doing and give him another chance. From hating him to loving him.
What's wrong with me???

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: It's been awhile	Heather	12:46:53 03/21/08 Fri
Re: It's been awhile (NT) -- Heather, 13:10:49 03/21/08 Fri