Re: He hurt my feelings -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: He hurt my feelings

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 19:55:11 03/22/07 Thu
In reply to: Shari 's message, "Re: He hurt my feelings" on 21:16:53 03/21/07 Wed

Shari -
Great question for Heather to ask herself. I KNOW I hung on to my daughters father WAY longer than I should have, and stepping back from it believe I took a lot more crap than I should have b/c I wanted that 'family'- for myself and for my daughter. I grew up with an alcoholic father who dissappointed me many many times. I wanted to make my daughters life experience different -I wanted her to have a daddy -and I had hoped with my love and her as his child he would change. He did not. Heather -I went through the highs and lows too -so I totally get it. I FINALLY FINALLY figured out (the very hard way), that those phone calls he would make to me telling me how sorry he was, how wonderful I am, how he wants to be a better man/father, loves me, blah blah blah -were all him coming down off drugs. It was part of the meth and not at all meaningful b/c his mean cold behavior to me and irresponsiblity towards his daughter would all happen over once again. I realized that what I thought I wanted -for me and my daughter -was NOT what myself NOR my daughter were receiving. I had to draw a line in the sand and I did. Thankfully he is too screwed up w/drugs or selfishness or whatever he is currently doing made him back off completely (the backing off from paying child support sucks though). Instead -my daughter and I are a "family". She may not have her dad or the white picket fence home with two parents -but her and I have each other and that is WAY more healthy than the crap he put us both through and WAY better for my daughter to have him just not around than in and out and in and out at his leasure. Does my daughter suffer over it? Of course. Her grades have dropped, her self esteem has been crushed, her trust of others have become gaurded. However-each day our lives are becoming more happy and healthy. Each day we are dealing with everyday stresses rather than the crazy making behavior of having an addict in our lives.
Draw a line in the sand -stick with it -do what's best for your son and his emotional well being -love what you have instead of trying to gain love from what you don't.

I'm rambeling-you get my point! ;)

Stay strong! We are all amazing, strong, caring women!!

Shelly

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: He hurt my feelings	Heather	21:25:28 03/22/07 Thu
Re: He hurt my feelings -- Shelly, 18:15:06 03/23/07 Fri