| Subject: Re:TR |
Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: 18:20:55 11/18/06 Sat
In reply to:
cindy
's message, "Re:TR" on 08:00:35 11/18/06 Sat
TR -
I never knew my ex was using, until the day he told me and his family. I simply thought he was selfish, unreliable, and moody. Once I knew what was really going on, everything made much more sense. When he quit -he was a totally different person, reliable, loving, open, communicative, and happy! He would answer all calls, be where he said he would be at the time he said he would be there,and wanting to spend time with my daughter, me, his family, and friends. A few short months later I started noticing old patterns.I thought I was being overly parinoid and he of course got angry each time I questioned him stating that he wasn't using and to stop throwing that in his face everytime he didn't do what I wanted. Well, before long the signs are there if your ready to see them. He continued to saqy he wasn't -but I knew better. He wouldn't want to stay and chat when he dropped off my daughter, wouldn't answer his phone or return calls right away, wouldn't look me in the eye, stopped wanting to spend time with his daughter, and becoming moody, angry, and arguementative at the slightest conflict. I didn't have to see him smoking it, nor look at his pupils or see him acting wacked out -I knew -gut instinct -I knew. I told him until he got help and went to rehab he could no longer see his daughter. He emailed me over a month later asking to come over to my house to figure out a schedule of when he could have his daughter (He had not asked to see her in over 2 months at this point -and prior he had her two days a week -he just stopped showing up and calling). I reiterated the fact that until he went to rehab and tested negative for drugs, he could not be with her. He denied any usage again and told me he didn't know what I was talking about. Even though he made me question myself, I knew in my heart of hearts he was using again and I stuck to my expectations. I later learned that his family did an intervention shortly after -and he had lost a lot of weight and gone back to his parinoia behavior. This was all in July when they did the inetervention and last I heard he agreed to rehab. I have not heard from him or his family since then. He stopped paying child support all together and has never asked to see his daughter again since. That behavior tells me he is still actively using. The selfish, retreating from life, not working, and not being remorseful are all signs they are not well, not recovered, and still using.
Trust your gut -protect your grandchild (now child)!! You will know when your daughter is not using -it will be very obvious, apparent, and feel good and right!!!
God Bless
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