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Subject: Re: husband is a user


Author:
Frustrated, Freaked, Furious
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Date Posted: 01:25:09 08/18/06 Fri
In reply to: gina 's message, "husband is a user" on 15:14:32 08/14/06 Mon

Hi Gina,

In 2003 I was shocked to find out my spouse was a meth user. He hid it well. I knew he wasn't someone I knew anymore or liked how he behaved, but never suspected drugs.

There was no choice. I left. It's been a battle with him and our 2 children. Only last year did I get full custody of them. This after he left a baggie with meth in our son's backpack, at the urging of his parents to the courts that he is not able to care for his children, was arrested twice for drug possession, spent a few days in jail, etc. He's pretty much lost his family, has no job, car or home.

Luckily, the kids are smart and are adjusting. It's been an absolute nightmare. He was the only one in the world that made me feel so bad. I have many great people in my life and it was sad that my husband was the only one that treated me poorly. Has not been easy, but much easier and better than had I stayed. I didn't want our children to be around that environment. They have stability now.

I know that I am strong and am making it on my own. I will not let other change who I am and how I act. I'm a good person.

As much as it is your husband's choice to admit he has a problem and seek help, you have choices. Be strong. Don't stay around or let your kids around someone who is a meth addict. The group he probably associates with is not wise to have around the kids. It's a vicious cycle. No one wins when you allow him to be around and support him. He needs to be on his own. Why would he stop if you're taking care of him? Don't listen to his promises, look at his tears, etc. Look at what he does. How is he behaving? Actions not words are what you need to be focusing on.

Take care of yourself and your children. That is your responsibility. He has a responsibility to get his act together.

You are not helpless. Take control. Do what you need to, no matter how difficult is is. Do the right thing. The right thing is what is best for you and your children.

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