Re: I restrained myself from calling -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: I restrained myself from calling

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 23:23:51 09/07/06 Thu
In reply to: Shari 's message, "Re: I restrained myself from calling" on 22:20:56 09/07/06 Thu

I can't even express how difficult it was for me tonight!! I eneded up writing him this email -very thought provoking -telling him I don't want him involved in his daughter's life anymore but just need answers on if he is ever planning on paying me child support again and what to tell this little girl who is confused and angry.I have to say that my email was so well written...After I wrote it I went to re-read it to make any corrections and clearly heard GOD tell me "Let go". I then cancelled the email and it is gone forever! My heart hurts, I am so sad for my daughter and don't have the answers that she needs -and can only get from him -but I must try to move forward! I know he is out of rehab and doing good -I know this from his best friend -yet he hasn't even tried to contact his daughter and I am so afraid we are going to run into him at the grocery store or Target and she is going to be so hurt to learn that he has gotten better,but chosen not to be a part of her life. It physically hurts when I think about the pain she has been through -that I allowed her to go through when we moved here so she could get to know him. I feel responsible for her pain and that is why it's so hard for me to let it go. I want him to step up and be the daddy that I promised her (b/c that's what he promised me) when we uprooted ourselves and moved across the country for him. I can let go of the fact that he and I didn't work out as planned -I am an adult and know that these things happen as sad and dissappointed as I am -but my daughter does not understand any of it. She does not understand why after talking to therapists and being BEGGED by me to open her heart to him -why after she finally did open her heart, created her own room at his house, introduced all of her new friends to her dad, spent time with him, let down her wall -he abandoned her once again. I feel horrible for her -and I am the one that trusted in him and made her also trust. I feel guilty and sad and duped and like a horrible mother for exposing her to this. So -I hope he will be the man and the dad I promised her -and each day that he isn't hurts me -for her-more and more. Days like today SUCK!!
Thanks for reading -Tomorrow will be a new day!! :)

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Wow	Shari	13:17:54 09/08/06 Fri