Re: Here I am w/the first start of 'mixed feelings' -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: Here I am w/the first start of 'mixed feelings'

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 11:29:04 07/06/06 Thu
In reply to: Cindi 's message, "Re: Here I am w/the first start of 'mixed feelings'" on 21:04:11 07/05/06 Wed

neverending and cindi. You are right - children learn by example, but not only by our example, the examples of all around them. Some think I shelter my children, but I don't care because I know what it was like to grow up very unsheltered and to have so much independence I got myself in trouble. I was telling a friend of mine this last evening. I had too much independence from a young age, that when I was 19, I felt I was ready to settle down and get married. I hadn't even lived my life yet. I was desperately seeking that love and attention that I did not feel I got when I was growing up. I felt abandoned from both of my parents. I swore that I would never let my children go through that. I feel extremely lonely most times for companionship, but my kids are worth more than any man's attention especially my addict husband's negative attention. I do hope to find someone that is compatible with both me and my children, but first I am working on me and my future. Just when I felt comfortable being me, I get this overwhelming feeling of discomfort. I am not where I want to be. I can do so much more than I am doing now. I have decided to get my real estate license, and also get a certification in birthing to help new mothers. There is so much out there for all of us but instead we are worried about the lives of our addicts instead of betterig ourselves. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get up but it is not impossible. I am still getting up, I do not want my husband any longer, but in the future I do want a family with a man that loves and adores both my children and me.

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