| Subject: Re: I lost it and severed all ties today-Thank you Shari |
Author:
Shelly
|
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Date Posted: 22:01:40 07/19/06 Wed
In reply to:
Shari
's message, "Re: I lost it and severed all ties today" on 21:36:13 07/19/06 Wed
Shari -
Thank you for the post -though it just made me sob and sob! I am going to print the poem about crystal meth and keep it for the right time to share with my daughter! What is it in me that makes me switch from intense hatred towards him to intense saddness and sorrow for him? I am more comfortable with the hate -as the saddness makes me want to reach him, talk to him,make him see what he is doing to himself, his family, his child, his loved one's! I want to go on...I did what I did today to have the ability to go on, to be healthy for me and my daughter. But -I want to help him see the truth, get better, be the man that I know is inside of him. I get angry at myself for not staying angry as it is easier to hate him -hate the drug. I don't want to feel for him -he doesn't feel for us -he doesn't even feel for himself. I could cry a river tonight for that that has been lost, that has been hurt, that has been taken away from me, from him, from us, from my flesh and blood. I hate this drug!!!! I hate what it has done to my life, to his life, to our families life -to my poor innecent daughters life. If I coudl beat the shit out of anyone or anything right now -I would go up against Crystal Meth and fight a fight like I have never fought before! Sadly-I know I would lose and that's what tears my heart into pieces and makes me weap at the end of each day. Crystal Meth has ruined what could be and taken away what was!
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