| Subject: He got out yesterday (rehab) |
Author:
neverending
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Date Posted: 11:04:05 05/03/06 Wed
So, he got out of his 28 day rehab yesterday. He called me to see about seeing the kids. I told him he could come to the house to see them. I did this because I feel strong in my recovery and my direction, and I want to do what I feeel is best and most comfortable and normal for my kids (ages 2yrs and 3.5yrs).
He came over , and I was able to not respond w/ a look, gasp or comment about his black long sleeve shirt on a beautiful almost 80 degree day. But in my mind, yes, that is ODD at best, no? (he's a needle abuser)
The visit went fine all in all until I gave him some mail that came here, one of which was a ccard bill. Then at the flip of a switch he started in w/the high pitched aggitated tone, about how I have left him high and dry since I cashed his initial disability check. I calmly explained to him where the money went, that I could probably give him a couple hundred , and that w/in 7 days he'll be getting the balance from disability (which will be just shy of 2k, BTW), and that I anticipate seeing none of that.
He then asked about the tax return. I said yes I did the taxes, got the money and it's gone. Property taxes, catching up on bills that I had to put on my ccard for the past few months, etc.
Again, he is aggitated and saying how he has no where to stay, no money, no nothing.
I said that I thought the rehab's job was to help him with dialing in a living place after rehab. He said they didn't help him with that. I didn't say much, other than I did say "try the salvation army, they have a program and I believe it's free or close to it". That seemed to **** him off.
He left shortly thereafter. Not before asking me for 20 bucks to fill a prescription for tranadol (?) tranzadol? something like that. I said I have no cash.
15 mins later he called. Again saying how 'can't I see where he's coming from? he's getting screwed on all ends, no money, no place to go, I spent his check' etc. etc.
I told him I hold no guilt, that I have had to borrow from my job and family for the past 'x' amount of months, and money came in and I caught up on some bills. I said I could go there about being left high and dry for how many months because whatever money he did get went in his vein. TO that he said something about how he wasn't in his right mind. (and now he is?? oh lordy)
He then said he'd call me tomorrow (today) to see about coming to see the kids today. I said that it's not going to be an every day thing. That I felt we would go back to a few days a week (as per the court order). He said "and you think that is good for the kids?" to which I said "what is good for the kids is that when we are all together, that you and I act right around them so they don't sense hostility. they need to feel that their mommy and daddy dont' hate each other. BUt you need to realize that you and I are going thru our own thing, and the visits won't be every day". There were good chunks of dead air from him after some of the things I said. I said a couple of times that I had to go to tend to the kiddos, and then he'd say something else about whatever. Then I said look, I have to go I will talk to you later.
I told him I'd put a check for 200 in the mailbox. This may have been my mess up, but I did do that. I did set aside some from his disability check anticipating the money convo drama.
I did not succumb to his attempt of guilt on me about leaving him high n dry, about him going to have to sleep in his car with no where to go, etc etc. I told him that I asked him to leave, he responded with rehab, it was clear when rehab was over he wasn't coming back here to live. I feel during rehab he wasn't honest w/them or something, or they would've 'helped' him figure out where the hell he could go after 28 days.
I feel strong, I feel secure in my t hought and how I handled my self. Not once did I get hostile or raise my voice, or feed the fire. That is HUGE for me.
thank you for listening.
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