| Subject: Re: Problems with step-daughter, please help! |
Author:
Bren
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Date Posted: 13:46:12 05/04/06 Thu
In reply to:
WorriedMom
's message, "Re: Problems with step-daughter, please help!" on 11:27:09 05/04/06 Thu
WOW Worriedmom. I am somwhat in the same boat. Our daughter is a meth addict. she is 25 and has three children ages 4,5 and 7. four months ago she stole 2 of my credit cards and a check which she had some guy cash for 800.00. Well I filed charges and she was arrested. spent almost 2 weeks in the county jail before someone bailed her out.
To be honest, it seems to have been a good thing. She has been clean since getting out. at least she seems to be. She is even willing (againest her lawyers advice)to take the chance of trading a guarenteed 90 days served for a possible 5 years in prison to apply for drug court. Why? because she doesn't want a felony on her record to keep her from getting a good job that will take care of her and her three children.
She and her three children have been living with us since Nov.1 most of that time she was out getting high and I had the children. We have been the sole support for her and the 3 gradchilden. She is a certified surgical tech, and with a felony pending she can't get a job doing what she loves. instead she is working as a packer(packing up ppls household goods) making 7 dollars an hr. Now to the good stuff...my husband thinks we should rent her a house,catch up her utilities and put up deposits so they can be turned on, pay to get her drivers license back, and buy her a car! Just to get her and the kids out of our house. Just to get her on her feet then she can take care of the pmts...yeah ya think so? I don't trust her enough...not yet...maybe after she gets into drug court...if she gets accepted..and has been in awhile I will be able to trust again...but not just yet. My husbands reasons are noble enough. I am stressed to the max because She doesn't help with housework, picking up after herself and her children cooking or anything. she and the kids just come out of their clothes and they lay were they fall. The kids come in form school backpack and shoes and socks go three different directions! Her idea of cleaning the kitchen is stacking the dishes in the sink and wiping the counter! We also have a set of 13 yr old twins. I have had to miss functions and appointments with them because of the granchildren
I have to take her to and from work..we live in the country and she works on the other side of the city. This means we have to get up early, get her children up and dressed, get the boys ready for school, drive to the other side of town drop her off and drive all the way back in time to get the boys on the school bus. She is trying to get them in daycare, but the fact remains everywhere she needs to go I have to drive her. My DH is a long haul trucker and not here very much. He thinks he is helping me by providing a way out.and in a way he is, but that said, it is one thing to have her move out, but what will she do with this newfound freedom? I believe she is trying..she passed her drug screen Monday. She has gained most if not all of her weight back, She is sleeping normaly and is looking and acting like our daughter again. Still, She can't
afford to pay rent and a car pmt, insurance.and buy clothes, food, gas, pay utilities, etc etc. not on 7.00 an hr. Hey I'm all for it if she proves she can be responsible and pay her bills...but she never has in the past. I feel for you hon, I don't know what to do myself. I don't want her here, but I don't trust her enough to set up house for her. All this was to say, I know the battle you are fighting with your husband. I'm fighting the same battle. I don't know, maybe I should take the chance, she is doing well so far. And it sure would be nice to have my peaceful home back again.
Sorry for rambling ,I didn't mean to go on so long. Hang in there hon. I don't have nearly the experience these others have. I get the basics, it's how to handle the challenges it throws that is the hard part.
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