Re: help : hello again -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: help : hello again

Author:
Shari

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Date Posted: 08:00:21 05/22/06 Mon
In reply to: Valerie 's message, "help : hello again" on 11:56:27 05/18/06 Thu

Sorry, I just have a question...whatever happened to graduating in May? Now it is the end of the summer...

What happened that made it get pushed back? Too much demands on your time from your addict that your life got put on hold? Imagine that!

Your first child you were pregnant with in 2003...and now you have another. So you have two small children. I can relate. My sons were born 4/13/04 and 8/3/05. My addict has been out of the house (I had him arrested) since 8/4/05. That means that I came home after having a C-section with my house turned upside down, alone with a newborn and a toddler to handle. I have to assume that you are much younger than I am as I am 43.

You are frightened to handle two children alone. You say you have nothing...all of it must be in his name, and you aren't married....but they are his children.

I would apply for free legal services. Every town has that. Ask your DHS office where yours is. Go in there and tell them your situation. Be 100% honest with them. Maybe they can find a solution or a strategy for you to become self-sufficient.

I'll tell you what...handling my two children without my addict here is thousands easier than it was to handle my addict and my toddler! I have no clue what it would be like to handle both kids and the addict because I got him out before I came home with the little one.

Also, what might help you out is Department of Children and Family Services. I know it is a scary concept to bring them into your situation yourself, but they will help you get housing if you don't have it. They will pay for daycare if you need it, and they will provide the necessities that your children need if you don't have it. In my case, DCSF turned my case over to Catholic Charities for six months. I wasn't working and was on the welfare system so I didn't need the daycare, but they bought me a crib for my newborn, the mattress, and a gate for my stairs so that my children would be safe and have a place to sleep.

You'd be surprised at what is actually out there to help you. All I know is that my children are much better off without their addict father in their lives. They are safe, they are loved, and their needs are taken care of. They have no clue that we are poor because they have more toys given to us than I could probably afford if I had a terrific job and had to buy them.

You have to stop the "me" theory I hear from you, and think of your children and what is best for them. If your situation with your addict is bad now...it only gets worse. You are making the choice for not only yourself, but for your two totally innocent children that rely on you to do what is best for them.

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