| Subject: Re: Question for Heather |
Author:
neverending
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Date Posted: 10:46:06 04/18/06 Tue
In reply to:
Heather
's message, "Re: Question for Heather" on 10:10:14 04/18/06 Tue
Well, I had(have) an attorney, but what I did was hand over my notes and info to her, and she typed it up in a few page thing and gave it to the judge on our first court date. My first court date was 'ex parte', meaning the husband wasn't there nor aware of the appointment. I was able to get an exparte hearing by info submitted to the judge when requesting that type of hearing.
At that particular time, he was hallucinating, thinking I had men in the bedroom, coming and going as pleased, just doing crazy druggie stuff that had me scared. My kids were only 8months and 2yrs at that time.
BUt yah, basically, the judge read my thing, asked me a couple of questions and said he saw reason enough to get him out of house, supervised visits, etc.
In our case, I was 'lenient' with the visits. What I did was either had his Mom do the supervising, or a mutual friend we trusted, or myself. IN the end, that's when I got suckered into the "i'm changing, I want you and kids back" story, and tried at it again after 6months separation. I did most all of the 'supervising', which meant spending a fair amount of time with and around him. Per the court, he had 2 hrs 2 evenings a week, and 4 hrs on saturday. He also had hair follicle testing. Which he did eventually get a clean test, but still he went back to the dope in the end. (2 weeks after he moved back in, he used.)
Also, he did go to most all of the visits. He didn't make them easy, that is for sure. Like, just being a jerk about how lame it was to have to meet at a park for the visit, or one time after I had dropped the kids for visit at the mutal agreed friend house, he calls me 15minutes later to come get them because it wwas 'too hard to visit with his kids there'. Whatever! It wont' go down like that this time. I will be asking the judge to have the supervised thru the system (they have places for this).
Although we did try this 'reconciliation', and now, 1 year later, he's back out and in a rehab, I was not dumb. Everything w/the courts is still in place, so in other words, he's still kicked out legally, and still on supervised after rehab, until he brings me back to court and trys to reverse it.
I have already contacted my atty and we are picking up where left off last year. I should be hearing any day when our 'follow up' is in court. I believe it's fair to say, that even if he's still 'clean' after this rehab vacation, the judge won't be too impressed w/his 'performance' the last year.
A record of rehab is great proof of the drug problem. The gun arrest is another good one. Meth heads are paranoid and like their weapons!
Heather, I'd nail his ass to the wall. I know it's easy for others to say. Man, I have fought this battle for almost 10 years with him. There just comes that time when we've got to let go. We've got to step outside of our emotions, look at our whole entire situation from 'outside', and make a healthy and objective decision for how we want to live.
I don't know how many years of use yours has. Mine took his first line at 12. 12 freakin years old. Told me he was daily user by 17. He'll be 37 in October. He progressed from lines, to pipe, to needle use now for the past almost 4 years. I can't wager my life on what he will or won't do w/recovery anymore. I've gotta choose me and my kids and what I feel is best for us! I hope he gets 'better'. For our kids, I sure do. BUt I dont' hope it for 'us' anymore.
What part in Cali? wouldn't that be something if we could hook up for a play date w/the kids and we can sit and support each other?
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