| Subject: Cake and eating it to. |
Author:
Been There
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Date Posted: 17:43:21 04/19/06 Wed
In reply to:
J
's message, "Needing help to help a friend" on 14:54:57 04/19/06 Wed
Hello,
Sorry but you are enabling. You are going to be in danger soon. Crazy people have a way of even making the sane crazy!!
You Said “Now I have a person living in my home, who I do like very much but is turning my home into a living hell.”
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You really need to kick your addict out of your house!
You Said “If I were to kick my friend out, it would be to the streets, or a medical facility… neither I can see happening or coming to a good end.” Why do you think they call it Rock Bottom?? So are you really helping your addict?? By the way the definition of an enabler is helping them make thier use easier. That means helping them emotionally and financially.
Their use is not your fault and not your problem or responsibility. Get out of the way of their consequences. You are not alone here and please scroll down and read or print the “Helpful Tips” post. My advice is save yourself and kick them out while you can. Good Luck.
Why you could be in danger soon:
http://www.drdrew.com/Topics/article.asp?id=1327
From The “Helpful Tips” post:
* THIS IS A GREAT LESSON FROM HULA FOR THE LOVED ONE TO LEARN HOW TO NOT LET THE ADDICT DRIVE YOU DOWN WITH THEIR MANIPULATION, SO THE BEST THING FOR YOU IS TO GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THEIR CONSEQUENCES. Good Luck.
THOUGHTS BY HULALEA aka HULA
Insanity is when you do the same things over and over again expecting an entirely different result.
With families of meth users, I think what we do can be put into this example:
The addict has this dangerously deadly disease that in one-way or another is contagious. Be it with the traumas of violence, finances, deceit or any other harm in the way it affects the family. Children, spouses, parents - totally innocent people are catching this "disease". Instead of the sick person realizing this danger that they are putting the family into, they selfishly continue to contaminate by blaming, hurting and deceiving the innocent ones that love them the most. All the while, continuing to get sicker and sicker by not wanting to get the help that is needed and available.
In the mean time, there are those of us that think if we just did this or just did that... was this way or was that way... we would help them get better. All the while getting sicker ourselves and adding illness to our children and loved ones also. This is when we have to detach one way or another (whether it's with the help of Government law enforcement and judges) and heal ourselves in the form of prayer or meditation and basically finding our peace.
We now can heal ourselves and those that rely on us and we show the addict that since we cannot help them they need to seek it on their own. This comes in the form of not listening to their lies, blaming and manipulations. No matter what they say, you were never the cause of their disease.
Get out of the way of their consequences. They need to feel their consequences for them to learn. It is part of the healing process for them. If you don't feel the heat, how will you know it burns? Let go and let God. He is the only one that heals.
I keep saying that this is Satan's ammo. Look at the God-created families and marriages that he keeps destroying!
Try prayer, I did and it has totally changed our lives. I continue to pray for all of the families' peace, comfort and strength.
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