Subject:  Haven't posted in a while....... |
Author:
Melinda
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Date Posted: 20:02:53 03/24/06 Fri
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been awful at best here.
However life keeps teaching me new lessons. Alot going on so, hope that you don't mind that I talk. And talk. And talk.
The last time I posted, I had just found at that my mom had breast cancer. I would be happy to go back to that time.
On December 1st my mom went into the hospital for a bowel obstruction. Needless to say...it just got worse and worse. After 16 days of being in the hospital from that, she went to the nursing homw for rehabilitation. Then on the 20th of December both of my parents ended up in the hospital, next door to each other in ICU. My mom with complications from the surgery and phenumonia, and my day with gall bladder problems. Shortly after Christmas, my father went home, and my moms bowels started working again. A couple of days after New Years, after numerous attemps to get my moms heart rate under control, she had a stroke. Leaving her paralized on the left side, and unable to speak or swallow...so much for the bowels working. So with all this going on, I still had to go to work everyday, take care of my kids, my home, my parents home, talking with the doctors, family coming to town, family going home. I started to find myself really overwhelmed and depressed, and a whole lot scared. On January 11th, after trying everything know to modern medicine to help get my mom better. We decided that we would stop all treatments, and medications. We met with the pastor, and the doctors, and decided that God had other plans for my mom, and it was time for her to go. On January 13th, my mother died, with myself and my daughter by her side.
When I first got clean, I was told by numerous people, that this stuff would happen regardless if I was clean or using. That these moment s would test any recovering addict, and that most of them would fall back into their old ways. Ninteen months to the day, I had clean when my mom died. And today, I have almost 22 months.
I guess the point I am getting to is this. No one ever wants to loose someone they love. But I sure thank God everyday that he believed enough in me to get me through all of the hard stuff. If I never would have gotten clean, I never would know proud my family is of me today. I would never know what sadness feels like. I would have never said good bye to my mom. I would not of cared that she was dying. I remember all of it in exact perfect detail, and I would trade that for all the dope in the world..
For those of you who are still going through the motions, know this, some do make it, don't give up on your loved ones who are doing the meth. Just don't give in either. Because you never know wht God's plan truly is.
As always thanks for letting me share. I pray that each of your addicts will find the way to a better life.
Melinda
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