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Subject: Re: hi. . .


Author:
"Sam"
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Date Posted: 15:31:17 08/02/01 Thu
In reply to: RainbowBright 's message, "hi. . ." on 21:44:21 04/29/01 Sun

Hi, look i read the paragraphs and i think is good, but you need to profundice more in in some ideas and descriptions it would hear nicer,instead of written many general stuff,(example)....where the sleepy sun lets yellow beams drift lazily through the leafy canopy to dapple the underbrush.... Profundice the ideas instead of making a lot, because the person who read will be borried.

It's clear that you had read Tolken, because of the ..Middle-Earth.. try to not show that "vocabulary" (I also read Tolken -Lord of the rings and Hobbit and half of silmarillion-.
you wrote about "Puck" żis that the name of the goblin or is an ordinary goblin".or it's not a goblin
Finally i like the paragraphs i hope some day i read it all, because i like it (you have talent)
there is my E-mail address for respond my or for questions
Good luck Annalee

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