Re: Shaun Wallis explodes -- Fan Forum

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Subject: Re: Shaun Wallis explodes

Author:
Gando

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Date Posted: 16:27:58 02/22/04 Sun
In reply to: fireman 's message, "Shaun Wallis explodes" on 18:10:06 02/15/04 Sun

A shocking incident took place over the week-end. That scourge of kebab shops and haunter of puffin donuts Shaun Wallis has struck again. A newly opened chinese eatery has ended up nearly bankrupt after only one day of trading. In order to promote the business the owners had a "all you can eat" special. Security footage of the front of the shop shows the burly veteran prop camping overnight on Keira street, a stray mutt cocking it's leg on his swag couldn't deter the big fella. Awakening at 6 am Shaun spent the next 12 hours pacing up and down,waring out the pavement, occassionally checking his watch, shaking his head , muttering under his breath and pressing his nose against the shop window, leering in with a look like a frothing hyena about to gorge on a rotting rhino carcass. After cleaning the joint out of all it's stock big Wally lumbered up to the cashier and enquired wether "all you can eat applied to takeways". A disappointed Wally then made a bee line for the exit but couldn't fit through the front door, the owner suggested that Wally leave via the B & D roller doors on the loading dock. Therein catastrophe ensued. Wally was snared, he wriggled, breathed in, but to no avail, the calorie muncher was firmly wedged. Emergency sevices were quickly on the scene. They scratched their noggins: How on earth were they going to get mud guts out of there. Soon local kiddies arrived, attracted to all the sirens, they were yelling and giggling "Free Wally, Free Wally". Ever resourceful Big Kev from Donnelly's arrived under police escort, he was driving a low loader with a caterpillar D9 on the back. He backed the dozer close to the scene, tied a ships rope that he got from some wharfie mates around Wally's girth, the big engines roared, the D9 belched out diesel fumes, it heaved, moaned and groaned, rescue personnel crossed their fingers. Big Kev floored the earthmover , the bulldozer coughed and spluttered under the strain , a thick black cloud of smoke rose from it's engine, it had blown a gasket. An official from tourisim Wollongong suggested that they leave Wally there plaster him with cement and market him as "The Big Unit" to counter the Big Bannana at Coffs Harbour. Finally the owners granny had had enough, she had to be up early next morning to go the RSPCA in Montaque street to restock. The queen of the hot wok and mistress of the sewing machine collected all the cooking fat, peanut oil and dregs from the deep fryer stripped Wally butt naked and smeared him with the blend. Standing there motionless like a huge turkey basted for christmas dinner, the oriental octogenarian walked to the opposite side of the shop lined herself up and shoulder charged into the stranded heap. On impact Wally let out a yelp and popped out like a turd from a dog with diarrhoea.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Shaun Wallis explodes	Bob Jane	18:21:42 02/24/04 Tue
Re: Shaun Wallis explodes -- Col. Sanders, 16:57:40 03/10/04 Wed