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Date Posted: 03:06:54 01/25/01 Thu
Author: L.J.
Subject: Re: Melancholy Waters
In reply to: Raphaela 's message, "Melancholy Waters" on 08:52:23 01/21/01 Sun

I love this piece, but it is broken up a little more than I think it needs to be. I can see how you have it organized and structured to be consistent, but the couplets break where the thoughts they convey should not, leaving the poem choppy. Your words are too beautiful to be obscured over-structurizing.

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