| Subject: FedEx Boy |
Author:
Kiersten
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Date Posted: 14:44:57 12/28/07 Fri
In reply to:
Kiersten
's message, "Blind date advice?" on 22:17:05 12/21/07 Fri
Well, the blind date has been postponed---he had some family thing come up so we're planning on next week. I'll let you know what happens.
But first, the story of FedEx Boy.
So, back in August, I randomly got a call from the Elders' Quorum President in my ward. I should probably preface this with an explanation of my Scale of Interest.
I figure there are three main types of boys.
1. Oh goodness, no, no. No no no.
2. Oh goodness, yes. Yes, yes yes yes yes.
3. He seems like a nice guy. I'd go out with him if he asked.
Everyone clear on that? Okay.
So, the guy that called me fit in to category number three. He seemed like a good guy. Not to die for gorgeous, but kind of cute in his own way. Just seemed nice. I figured if he ever asked me out I'd go, but I also figured he'd never ask me out because we really didn't know each other. Like, at all. Like, we'd exchanged maybe five words over the course of a year and a half. Just your average smalltalk pleasantries.
So yeah, when he called me in August, it took me a minute to realize he was asking me out.
He asked me to a comedy show (Brian Regan) which I actually would've really liked to go to, but I was in a play at the time and we had a show that night. I told him as much, and apologized profusely, and told him to please call again. See, I didn't want him to think I was putting him off.
One or two weeks later, he did call again. This time he told me that a bunch of people were throwing a birthday party for this other guy in our ward. Just a casual thing, going bowling and having treats. Would I like to come? I said yes.
I went to the party, and it was way casual. There were lots of people there that we both knew, so there wasn't really any pressure. We talked a little bit, but not very much, but he still seemed like a really good guy. At the end of the night when I left, I told him I'd had a good time, and thanks for the invite. It was all very pleasant and I kind of got the feeling he'd be calling again.
A couple of weeks after that, he hadn't called, which was fine, but I was wondering about some things, so I ran the situation by a friend of mine at school. He said that even though I'd had a really legitimate reason for not going out one-on-one with the guy the first time, I'd probably freaked him out a little bit, hence the casual party situation. He said that guys don't ever like to be told no, even when there's a reason. It freaks them out.
(Guys need to learn to deal with that.)
Anyway. My friend told me that if I'd had a good time, that I should call him. I told him I didn't want to do that. I hate doing that. But my friend told me enough time had passed, and the guy might've been freaked out enough, that I should call him if I was interested at all, to spur it along. I told him I'd think about it.
As fate would have it, I didn't have to call, because that weekend he called me again and asked me if I'd like to go to a fireside with him. I said sure. The fireside was about a fifteen minute drive from where I live, so there'd be some time in the car to talk. We started chatting, trying to get to know a little bit about each other. Allow me to present this in script format, as it will be ever so much more entertaining.
HIM: So, what do you do? Are you in school, or...?
ME: Yeah, I just went back.
HIM: Yeah? In what? Are you working, too?
ME: In music education. It's really fun. I'm busy, because I'm working a couple of part time jobs, too. I was teaching, but I couldn't fit any classes in my schedule, so...
HIM: Teaching? Like, at a high school or something?
ME: No, at SLCC. Just freshman English. It's not that cool.
HIM: No, that's great! They let you teach with just a Bachelor's degree?
ME (uncomfortably--this always seems to freak guys out, so I don't like to bring it up): No, I have a Master's degree.
HIM: Wow, really?
ME: Yeah. It's really not that cool, I promise.
HIM: No, that's great, really.
*awkward pause*
ME: What about you? Are you in school? Or...?
HIM: No, I graduated already.
ME: Yeah? In what?
HIM: I have a degree in Sociology and a minor in Business.
ME: Cool. So, what do you do with that?
HIM: Well, right now I'm a driver for FedEx.
MY BRAIN: That must be a temporary job, like my library job.
ME: So, what do you WANT to do?
HIM: Actually, I kind of like the driving.
*EDITORIAL NOTE* While I am sure there must not have been a pause here of more than a second, it felt like there was a big gaping hole. Also, while I am sure that my face remained composed, it felt...not like that. I now return you to the drama.
ME: Yeah?
MY BRAIN: The what now?
HIM: Yeah. I had an office job for a while, a nine to five. Sitting in a cubicle all day...that's just not for me.
ME: Yeah, I understand that...
HIM: So the driving is kind of nice, gets me out of an office. It's a good job.
MY BRAIN: Is he content with that? Forever?
ME: You have a minor in Business...have you thought about starting your own?
HIM: Yeah, I tried that once for a little while. It just didn't work out.
*slight pause*
HIM: I'm thinking about maybe taking the Post Office exam.
MY BRAIN: Huh.
ME: Yeah?
HIM: Yeah, they have really good benefits.
MY BRAIN: Have you no AMBITION?
ME: Yeah?
HIM: Yeah.
And finally, thank GOODNESS, we arrive at the fireside. The whole time we're there, I'm trying to listen to whomever the speaker is (I don't even remember now), but I'm sitting there thinking, "Are you SERIOUS? You just want to be a delivery boy your whole life?"
All right, so I appreciate delivery people. I like it when they deliver me boxes of goodies. I know they are important. But my goodness! You've got education and a working brain, please use it! You just want to drive around all the time? For your career?
FedEx Boy suddenly slipped from a category three boy to very nearly a category one boy. That was bad.
I got home that night and my mom asked me if I was interested in him. I kind of hemmed and hawed for a little while, but eventually I just said, "Well, potentially a lot less interested than I was." I told my parents about the conversation we had. They both agreed with me, but then my dad kept poking at me all night: "We need the mail. Mail is important!"
Anyway, I felt really, really, really, really shallow, so at school the next day I ran the situation past my friends. I said to the guy that I ran this by before, "Am I shallow?" He said, "In the strictest sense of the word, yes." Haha! Then he said, "But I would be, too. If there's something that matters to you a lot in a relationship, you have to go with it. If his career choice bothers you that much, then that's kind of a dealbreaker." I told some of my other friends, too. Girls. They all said, "He wants to do WHAT? Yeah, um, no." So yeah, I felt very shallow, but at the same time...you know?
This was late August, maybe early September. I decided that if he called me again (and I thought he might), I'd give him one more shot, but if he really didn't show any more ambition than that, that was it.
He didn't call. It was funny, because half of me was really relieved that I wouldn't have to tell him I wasn't interested (my guy friend said I had to give it to him straight, no excuses like "I'm busy"), and the other half was super offended that he didn't call. Eventually, I chalked it up to him feeling the same This Isn't Going To Work vibe that I felt. We continued to exchange monosyllabic pleasantries at church when we saw each other, but nothing ever came of it. That was okay.
Now we get to the part where I might be the meanest girl in the world.
Randomly, two weekends ago, he calls me. I wasn't home. He just left a message that said, "Hey, it's me. Sorry it's loud, I'm in my car. Give me a call when you get home. It's FedEx Boy." (Names have been changed to maximize usage of nicknames.)
Okay, whoah there. First of all, it had been something like three months since I'd heard from him. Second of all, he calls me on my home phone (not my cell) and says, "It's me"?!?!? Like I'm supposed to just know his voice, like we're on an "It's me" basis? We're totally not. I mean, yeah, I knew his voice, but still.
Anyway, he called on a...Thursday? Yes. Thursday. I didn't get home that night until midnight, so I didn't call him back. My weekend was really jam-packed, and I didn't call him then, either (though honestly, I could have). A friend of mine told me to call him when I knew he wouldn't answer, and let him know that I was busy...and probably always would be. (She put it very nicely, but that's generally the gist.) I really did mean to call him before Sunday when I'd probably see him at church, but I didn't.
So I planned to talk to him on Sunday, just say, "Sorry I didn't call you back, got home late, was hardly home all weekend. Just wanted to let you know I got your message." But I didn't have the chance. We don't always see each other at church, and this was one of those weeks.
I started feeling really bad that I didn't call him back. My friend says this will tell him--clearly--that I'm not interested, and I suppose she's right, but I feel rude. Now it's been two weeks and it's obviously way too late to call him. And I'm really not interested. But, yeah.
Anyway, that's the big long FedEx Boy story.
And this is the big long FedEx Boy story's anti-climactic ending.
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