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Date Posted: 23:46:53 03/13/03 Thu
Author: The Alterna-Tim (WD)
Subject: Shotgun!!

SHOTGUN!!
many a time we have heard these words uttered and shouted by our fellow companions in our life time, sometimes followed by scuffels and intense beatings and harsh words. but we don't really take the time anymore to consider the luxury of shotgun and the responsibilty placed upon us when saying these mythical words out loud.
The luxury of a front seat ride next to the man (or woman) at the controls is a privelege we frequently take forgranted, like every privelege it can be taken away if you mis-behave or don't perform required duties. Lets take a look at some of these duties.
If the captain at the helm is intoxicated or extremley tired, it is a required duty of the person riding shotgun to seize control of the steering wheel, also applicable when the driver is lighting a cigarette, or doing another shot of whiskey with the guys in the back seat. if you don't feel comfortable with the position your now in with these dutys then get yer gay self in the back seat with the big sweaty guys cause your as much of a risk to the occupants of that vehicle as the man controlling "the machine o' death" is.
another duty frequently overlooked is the responsibility of "road head" if the driver is tense or nervous then this puts you all at risk, you must swallow your pride (among other things) and get DOWN to work, it doesn't matter the sex of the driver or passenger, this is your solem duty to perform to save many lives. consider it payment or fare for being driven to your destination, and with the luxury of the front seat instead of the sardine can back seat with 12 guys who are all homophobes. It is also your duty to ressusitate the driver should they stop breathing, pass out, have a heart attack from ringdings, whatever. you must fill your lungs with all your many love and care and give them mouth to mouth, and while your at it it's usually a good idea to throw in some tounge, cause you need some kind of bonus to walking away from the light at the end of the tunnel, and a little french kissing will always do the trick.
think these things over next time you shout "Shotgun!" in front of your friends (specially if your with 12 guys), cause you never know when your gonna have to buckle down and earn your keep for sitting in the lap of luxury that we call the front seat. everything has it's price, and if you don't have enough to pay fare then you are endangering your friends and yourself...

The Alterna-Tim (WD)

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