VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 14:33:32 09/27/02 Fri
Author: Queen of Darkness, Moron Wrangler
Subject: My FAQ's at Starfire

In addition to handling corporate morons during the week, I get to handle weekend morons with some questions like these:

Q: Do you make these yourself?
A: No, they're made by elves in hollow trees.

Q: Are these real swords?
A: No, they're magical carrots. Once you eat them, don't return to the realm or there's going to be trouble.

Q: Are they sharp? (After they've run their fingers down the blade)
A: Wouldn't that suck if it was sharp?

Q: Can I see that sword on the wall?
A: Yeah, you're looking at it.

Q: Can I sharpen this?
A: What are you going to do, cut tomatoes?

Q: What would happen if I ran off with this sword?
A: You'd only die tired.

Q: How much does the big one weigh?
A: Hey, that's a personal question to ask a woman!

Q: Is this stainless steel?
A: Do you think we would sell table cutlery at a renfaire? Go to Walmart!

Q: How long does it take to make one of these?
A: Until it's done.

*sigh*

~Amy, serving Renfaire Morons since 2000.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Re: My FAQ's at Starfire -- Sgt Schnookie, 14:49:19 09/27/02 Fri

Q: Can I see that sword on the wall?
A: Yeah, you're looking at it.

How'd ya know its on the wall if ya couldn't! Guh!

Sgt. S. P.


[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: My FAQ's at Starfire -- King of Hate, 15:31:05 09/27/02 Fri

eh,.. that was kind of negative,.. but in the future try to be a little more hateful. This IS the complaint forum you know.. where Ryann Bailey hates KRF and destroys the magic. You didn't even relate any story of the hate back when we all worked there. Where is the hate? We all want more of the hate. And Rob had better get on the ball with that as well! MORE HATE!


[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: My FAQ's at Starfire -- Luctreia - CMG, 14:21:45 10/01/02 Tue

My personal favourites - asked at least once per weekend -

Q:"Are these real or are they hand made?"
A:"Yes."

or

Q:"How about a chain mail thong?" (usually asked by a male)
A:"It's a custom piece. Let me go get my gloves so I can measure you."

or

Q:"How much does all this stuff cost?" (said while waving a hand around the booth)
A:"A million bucks. How would you like to pay for that - we take credit cards and cash."


[ Edit | View ]

[> Re: My FAQ's at Starfire -- Cliffie, 16:32:55 10/02/02 Wed

Remember Amy, the proper response is to ask: "Do you know what parry five is sir/ma'am?" and when the say "no"..... PH-TANG!!!! Right between the eyes! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! (Raise arms like Dave)


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Re: My FAQ's at Starfire -- Rob, 10:06:31 10/03/02 Thu

Poor Cliff. Just a few weeks removed from the close of "Three Musketeers", and he's already suffering from Violence Withdrawal. Please give generously to the Fund For Underutilized Fight Choreographers...

Wait a minute. I'm an underutilized fight choreographer myself.

Screw the Fund. Just give to me. Generously. Right now.

- R


[ Edit | View ]


[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.