Suicidal Thoughts...I'm There! -- Angels Touch

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Subject:

Suicidal Thoughts...I'm There!

Author:
Lyssa

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Date Posted: 23:34:43 09/18/04 Sat
Author Host/IP: 205.188.116.198

I am 26, in college, bright and I should have my entire life ahead of me. I've done a lot for a 26 year old. Modeling for Hot Skins, Fitness and Figure Competitions (won at the Red River Classic and The Lone Star) but something has always been missing. I've been through therapy and still there. I'm on Lamictal for borderline bipolar disorder, Xanax for anxiety, Adderral for ADHD. Keep in mind that my Psychiatrist hasn't actually diagnosed me with these, he's just trying to see what will help. Enough with the crap...bottom line, I just drew up my will online and payed for it, so it should be in the mail in a few days and I want to "painlessly" die. I wonder what happens when you actually die...is it going to be better than this? How can it be worse? I've signed a plea agreement with the federal govt. for money laundering, sentencing guidelines state I should serve 46 months...can't do it. Sentencing hearing is on October 19. I want to do it before then. Can anyone help with methods, etc. I just want to fall asleep after a night of making love to the man I can never truly have, then hold my beautiful Berlin (Blue Doberman) and never wake up. No wrist slitting, jumping off buildings, blowing my head off, etc. Does anyone believe that you don't go to heaven if you commit suicide? Can God blame me? Any advice...no words of encouragement to keep trudging on and it's all going to get better. Been there, done that, sent the post card. Thanks for any help.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Some Thought!	Gary	17:30:03 09/19/04 Sun

Re: Suicidal Thoughts...I'm There!	Allen Wicklund	11:42:16 12/14/04 Tue
Re: Suicidal Thoughts...I'm There! -- Gary, 17:36:12 12/14/04 Tue