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Date Posted: 06:18:30 08/03/06 Thu
Author: russia marriage
Subject: russia marriage

Ya tyebya lyublyu! This is the Russian phrase for “I love you.” At no point in time could I pronounce it correctly. I could declare my love, but never in the right direction. Because of the nuances of the Russian language, my inability to profess my love would lead me to say the equivalent of:

“I love tree”

“I love door”

“I love dog”

Of course, I could cuss like a local, but that was frowned upon by the girlfriend.

After months of aggravation, my girlfriend became determined to resolve this flaw in my moral character. Practice was the key and practice I did. Like that odd person in the bookstore, I mumbled “Ya tyebya lyublyu!” everywhere I went. This often led to random Russian women smiling at me and less enthusiastic Russian men giving me harsh looks. I won’t even mention what the occasional dog tried to do to my leg. Despite my efforts, my immortal soul could not be fixed. We gave up. Still, she had the determined look in her eyes, so I knew I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

One fine Siberian winter morning, which is to say it was –30 degrees, I was groggily greeted by an excited Tatyana. I was ordered to say “yellow blue bus.” I did. I was told to say it faster. I did. A yelp of triumph was heard across the permafrost of Siberia.

I had learned how to say “I love you” in Russian.

The door to which I had professed my love so many times went into depression.


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