One foot out the door -- The Crooked Bookcase

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Subject: One foot out the door

Author:
Trevor/TJ

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Date Posted: 23:15:09 06/18/03 Wed

This week, during our daily midday walks a work, I've been telling my friend (best friend since 16 yo, but less close since we've both been married) the things he didn't know about me.

So, I'm kinda skirting around the issue a bit and giving him some background and he says, "So, you're thinking about coming out?" Almost out of the blue.

So we talk some more and the next day he admits he's sort of always suspected and he remembers things from our teen years that are a bit relevant but I'd totally forgotten, little comments on a double date, I convinced him to go to a costume party as a transvestite - stuff like that.

So today I asked if his wife, who is a wonderful and interesting lady - I think she wrote a hermo-erotic book along the way, too, if she is at all freaked out. "No, she pretty much has suspected, too." So of course, I yell at him, "Why the hell didn't you tell me I'm gay! I'm always the last to know everything!"

I don't know why - kinda weird, I think. Sounds like he's had a few guys try to kiss him, and someone else insisted, based on a few comments and photos of him and I, that HE's gay. Apparently he has been slightly attracted to a couple guys in his life, but I think he is just more honest with himself than most people. I don't get it, other than being quite and passive, I really don't fit any of the stereotypes. Probably a good think I don't find him at ALL attractive and only tried to snuggle him on a few sleepover, in a platonic sort of way.

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Replies:

[> Subject: I always suspected it. You're so flamboyant :)
Author: Wolfie [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 07:33:27 06/19/03 Thu Nicely done though :) [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: ummm Trev? I could be way off base here but you NEEDED someone to TELL you you were gay?

Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 07:41:12 06/19/03 Thu

Okay granted I am not gay, well mostly not, it does seem to me that that would be the one thing you'd know about yourself! hahahahaha Nah, just givin ya crap.. I understand.
I think back to high school and say WOW I was so in love with her! But I just didnt recognize that emotion toward a female at that age... I was so nebbish.
Then on top of that I have fought with gender confusion all my life.. I am in a semi feminine phase right now. But I was VERY feminine when Bri and I met.For most of my teens I was very butch, wearing my dad's clothes. The last four or five years I have been fairly butch( except for the hair. What I will look like in a couple more years is anyones guess!

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[> [> Subject: Yeah, well . . .
Author: Trevor/TJ [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 18:35:38 06/19/03 Thu I really just figured it out about 2 years ago. I do think some people change over time, and it's all more or less shades of grey anyway, for most people, if we are honest with ourselves. But what do I know! Obviously, I can be oblivious! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Aw, c'mon, Trevor is just an innocent guy. Until his wedding night, he wasn't even aware that boys and girls are different "down there" ;)
Author: Wolfie [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 20:49:00 06/20/03 Fri [ Post a Reply to This Message ]