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Drop in, be lazy, don't drink all the Coke, read a book







Subject: It's a strange world, this online world


Author:
Wolfie
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 20:40:42 04/17/03 Thu

You know, I haven't been visiting the Shack since around Halloween last year. Not a single time.

Now today I was doing some spring cleaning on my computer, reorganising bookmarks, deleting some old stuff, you know how it is. The link to the Shack was in there somewhere too, and I accidentally clicked on it. Much to my surprise, I landed on a page that told me that I have no access to that forum!

So obviously I'm banned from there, for whatever reason.
Not that I care much, I didn't plan to go back anyway.
I just thought it was funny. And a bit sad, after all the work I put into it.

Oh well, sorry for venting.

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Subject: I am fashionably late this year.....


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 18:22:25 04/14/03 Mon

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOLFIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

no applause just send money

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Subject: BOOOO!!!!


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 18:16:06 03/14/03 Fri

Kris is a stinker head! Neaner, neaner, boo, booo!!!!!!!



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Subject: I read this quote a few days ago.. thought it was worth remembering..


Author:
Kris
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 09:24:41 03/16/03 Sun

George Washington wrote it in April, 1783 about a reluctant Congress. Made me think of the current political situation:

"This is the moment when the eyes of the whole world are turned upon them; this is the moment to establish or ruin their national character forever; this is the favorable moment to give such a tone to our federal government as will enable it to answer the ends of its instituition; or this maybe the ill-fated moment for relaxing the powers of the union, annihilating the cement of the confederation and exposing us to become the sport of European politics, which may play one state against another, to prevent their growing importance and to serve their own interested purposes. For, according to the system of policy the states shall adopt at this moment, they will stand or fall; and by their confirmation or lapse it is yet to be decided whether the Revolution must ultimately be considered as a blessing or a curse- a blessing or a curse, not to the present age alone, for with our fate will be the destiny of unborn millions be involved."

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Subject: Does anyone here believe in the prophecies of Nostradamus?


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 16:22:14 03/08/03 Sat

"Come the millennium, month 12, in the home of the greatest power,
the village idiot will come forth to be acclaimed the leader".
Nostradamus in 1555

Sounds like someone you know?


And there's more. Nostradamus predicts the arrival of several Anti-Christs. The common consensus is that the first Anti-Christ, named Napaulon Roy was Napoleon, the second named Hister was Hitler and the third was named Mabus (sudaM).

Century 2, Quatrain 62
Mabus will soon die, then will come,
A horrible undoing of people and animals,
At once one will see vengeance,
One hundred powers, thirst, famine, when the comet will pass.

After the gulf war, Suddam was left standing in Baghdad and people lost interest. The prophecy was not fulfilled because Mabus (sudaM) was still alive. Now with war looming over the middle east, Suddam is now the US's number one target. He has the chance to fulfill the prophecy, if Bush gets his way. Nostradamus infers that if the third and final Anti-Christ dies, a 27 year war of vengeance will begin.

Century 8, Quatrain 77
The antichrist very soon annihilates the three,
twenty-seven years his war will last.
The unbelievers are dead, captive, exiled;
with blood, human bodies, water and red hail covering the earth.

With all the terror attacks around the globe, it's not hard to see how 27 years of Arab reprisals could take place. And how Suddam would become the Arabic martyr for revenge. His death may look like the solution to end all hostility's, but it could trigger decades of terror attacks. I think Suddam may get his chance to play the role of the Anti-Christ (Trickster) after all.

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Subject: zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 21:31:46 02/22/03 Sat





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Subject: Frodo's quest has failed!


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 15:28:39 03/01/03 Sat





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Subject: I have been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.


Author:
Trevor/TJ
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 19:24:40 02/26/03 Wed

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder..........

These are the symptoms:

I decide to wash the car; I head towards the garage but spot the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to wash the car. But first I better go through the mail. I put the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the garbage tin is full. OK, I'll just put the accounts on the desk and take the garbage out, but since I'm going to be near the letterbox anyway, I'll pay these few accounts first. Now, where is my cheque book? Blast, there's only one cheque left! My extra cheques are in my desk. Oh, there's the Coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those cheques. But first I need to put my Coke further away from the computer, or maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while. I head off towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I put the Coke on the counter and there are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill container with water and head for the flower pots. Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We will never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs. I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote back onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do.

END OF THE DAY:
The car isn't washed, the accounts are unpaid, the Coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the cheque book still only has one cheque in it and I can't seem to find my car keys. When I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!

I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, but first I'll check my e-mail.

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Subject: Those eyes ...


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 19:43:47 02/08/03 Sat

I'm just watching the new LOTR, The Two Towers, on DVD.
I could look into Elijah's eyes forever :)
And the battle of Helm's Deep gives me goosebumps every time I see it, especially at the end, when the Rohirrim ride down the hill to safe the day.
Forth Eorlingas!

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Subject: Well here I am.. fashionably late as usual...


Author:
KRIS
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Date Posted: 20:31:50 02/16/03 Sun


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MITCHEY!!!!

No pushing.. you will ALL get to spank the birthday boi...

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Subject: heHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 20:43:03 02/16/03 Sun

The boss of Stone Marketing called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the employer, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme was Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. After all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

The top ten:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzzz Up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your penis... This is your penis on drugs...

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Subject: Did everybody buy their gasmasks?


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 12:33:48 02/13/03 Thu

People are storming the stores and buying plastic sheets, duct tape, gasmasks and stuff like that. You could think that it's the national convention of S&M fetishists.
Too bad that I don't have my ABC gear from the army anymore, I'm sure I could sell it for lots of money!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the hardware store to buy a shovel and a pickaxe. I'm going to dig a bombshelter under my bed!

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Subject: I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT!!! woo hoo *dance around*


Author:
Peter ~ PetersCorner
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Date Posted: 15:41:41 02/10/03 Mon


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Subject: Gee this place is looking rather dull, I need to visit more often...


Author:
jalaki
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Date Posted: 22:40:54 02/06/03 Thu

*sprays some rainbow-graffiti all around the room* There, MUCH better!

Muwahaha! KRIS! Geez I never post here...I need to get back in the board-swing-of-things. And glad the truck situation is somewhat resolved, hehe....by the way, how's the PS2 working now? Haha...get that "stain" removed from the CD? *grins...that should lead to some interesting posts*

OK well I really have nothing to say, haha, just felt that since you keep spamming my board, I should occasionally return the favor. Oh wait, since there are all these other jokes & pics, I could add a few....Well, those are in the replies.

K I'll shut up now. Peace out. Catch ya on da flip side.™


-=jalaki=-
"Why do things happen as they do in dreams?"
The Shoal Isle presents "Gone From Daylight: Moriare"

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Subject: Sorry about the hand, Kris - maybe this will help?


Author:
Trevor/TJ
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Date Posted: 20:22:30 02/03/03 Mon

After a woman gave birth to her baby, her Dr. stood solemnly at her bedside.

I have something I must tell you about your baby.

What´s wrong, the alarmed mother asked?

Your baby is a hermaphrodite.

What´s that?

It means your baby has both male and female parts.

Oh my God that´s wonderful! The woman exclaimed.
You mean it has a Penis and a brain?

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Subject: Not to take away from the mourning...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 09:26:03 02/03/03 Mon

BUT....I WAS going to post a brag about how well my weight lifting is going...(25 lbs on the barbell, 20 reps first set, 10 reps next three sets) But I had a tussle with my dog this mornin, he didn't want to come home, and I think he has broken a small bone (or two) in the back of my hand. ( this is being typed mostly one handed) I am betting there goes the barbell for a week or so... OR I can load up the dumbbells and work out the RIGHT side and be totally lopsided!

What a crappy weekend...

My truck got hit by a moron with no insurance( of course) who neglected to bleed his brakes on his car when he changed them. Yeah delightful, I got to choose between letting him hit me or a head on with the approaching car.
So I guess I get to visit small claims court..
Second accident in less than a year with a *expletive deleted* carrying no insurance! The gods hate me.

I wont even start with the sewer troubles...

I need legally prescribed drugs in LARGE doses...


* I want my mommy*

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Subject: A quick tribute


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 22:07:57 02/01/03 Sat

Just a quick tribute to the astronauts who died on board of the space shuttle Columbia today!
I hope they did not die in vain. I hope NASA and all the other international space agencies will continue their programs. Many people gave their lives in the service of science (like Archimedes, who got stabbed by a Roman soldier, or Marie and Pierre Curie, who died of radiation poisoning), but those sacrifices are necessary in order to advance science. Research has to go on if we want to take the slim chance for the survival of mankind.

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Subject: Saturday Mornin humor


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 14:16:22 02/01/03 Sat

A little old man shuffled.....slowly into an ice cream
parlor....pulled himself slowly, painfully .... up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

...."No," he replied, "arthritis."

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Subject: WooHoo!


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 19:11:37 01/26/03 Sun

Go Bucs!

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Subject: Siahs Music...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 20:20:20 01/12/03 Sun

Siah made his dad burn him a CD today.. He taste is eclectic.. to say the least...

Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffet
Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
In the End - Linkin Park
Du Hast - Rammstein
Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Zombie Jamboree - Rockapella
Barts Song - Simpsons

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Subject: A little Friday Night semi-disgusting humor..


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 20:28:25 01/24/03 Fri

A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual
comments made by his patients made while he was performing
colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has
gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my
head is not, in fact, up there?"

6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.
You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

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Subject: Having a Bad Day? Or, A little something from my wife . . .


Author:
Trevor/TJ
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Date Posted: 09:29:37 01/25/03 Sat

Bet most of you can't say that - heh heh. Umm, :-/
-------
Having a Bad Day?

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 A.M., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 A.M. on Sundays.

So a Worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 A.M., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Having a Bad Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

What?! STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?

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Subject: I found a way to make money!


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 19:26:45 01/20/03 Mon

I can sell my peepee :)





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Subject: WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 18:27:39 01/07/03 Tue

I got into my size 34 501s today! AND THEY WERE A COMFORTABLE FIT! *does the Snoopy dance* Barbell must be tightening everything up. I am weighin in at 190. I havent been this low since 1992 when I got talked into having a Norplant put in( thats birth control that was surgically implanted under your skin to release contraceptive into your system continuosly). Yeah, a 10 month period.. that was fun! Plus weight gain.... Remind me NEVWER to listen to a male doctor again when it comes to hormones..
ANYWAY! I am finally starting to loose some of the weight and tighten up the loose skin. *James Brown voice* I FEEL GOOD!

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Subject: Ok ok, I'll *ouch* quit hitting me, I'll do it *OUCH* I said I'LL DO IT!


Author:
Wolfie
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Date Posted: 13:56:18 01/08/03 Wed

Damn Kris, I will post on your board, just stop bitchslapping me!
Man, Kris went from bitching at me to hitting me, only because she wants me to say something on this here board of hers. Though it's not really the physical abuse that made me do this, because I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. But she also threatened to kiss me, and I really don't like kissing very much.
So in order to avoid that trouble, I'll better make a post.


Anyway, I just started reading a new book. "Sleepers" by Lorenzo Carcaterra. I've seen the movie a few times, but until a few weeks ago I haven't been aware that the movie is actually based on the autobiographie of Lorenzo.

I always liked the movie, even if it's kinda hard to watch at times, with the harsh life of the streets of Hell's Kitchen and the physical and sexual abuse of the boys in the juvenile correction home.
But on the bright side, the guy who plays young Lorenzo is damn cute! And he's even legal now, though I haven't seen a recent picture.

I've only read about 50 pages so far, but I already know that I will buy his other books too :)

There's one other thing that surprised me when I looked through the book for the first time. There's a picture of the real Lorenzo Carcaterra in there, and he looks almost like a younger twin of the Eggman! You know, almost bald, just some black hair left on the sides and in the back. That really made me laugh :)


Well, I gotta go and eat some of the chocolate my folks sent me for Christmas!
Are you happy now Kris?

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Subject: *yawn* Stretch... ahhhhhhhh


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:39:26 12/28/02 Sat

So I haven't been around much lately.. been marathon reading Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.. in the last week have read three books... ouch I think my brain is fried! And part of a fourth.. I have four going right now.. depends on where I am sitting and what time of day which one I am reading.. mmmm Armand *wink*

Sounds like everyone had a freakin good time this Christmas. We got snow the 24th and it melted off the 26th. I considered putting my laundry on the line this mornin...after I chased the dog down. One thing we have in abundance here is MUD!

I asked the in laws for a barbell for Christmas. My mum in law having NO idea what to buy gave me a gift certificate. Now I just need to blackmail the hubby into comin along and helpin me carry the stuff out to the truck! I doubt I will ever be in Markus'class... just too damned lazy to work THAT hard! HAHAHAHAHA But I lift when I am depressed.. better than eating( shaddup Mitchey)

I am not nearly as spoiled as Lance but my son is! Jeez, he got a PS2, books, and enough imaginex castle stuff to keep the adults content for weeks! And three more dino books, jalaki. But I got the softest sweatshirt, schoolbus yellow! MMMM cuddles.

*Wanders off looking for a vampire or three*

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Subject: Shhhhh - everyone is sleeping!


Author:
Trevor/TJ
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Date Posted: 23:41:18 12/26/02 Thu

Long winter's nap? Awful quiet and really, I'm the only one around here who looks much like Santa (a little.)

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Subject: Let's get in the holiday spirit!


Author:
lokisdad
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Date Posted: 17:15:16 12/17/02 Tue

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

(Parody of The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) By Nat King Cole)


Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
(“Hehehe that tickles, hehehe”)
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
(“Ow, wrong end, ya cowboy!”)
Everybody knows some pepper
and a garlic clove
(Achoo!)
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight
And now when Santa sees his tray
(“Ho ho ho ho ho ho”)
There will be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
(“Mmmm…Hey, look at that!”)
And every hungry child is gonna’ spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
So I’m brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let’s hope they get served
many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food

“On that, Mr. Cole, ”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Seville?”
“Would you mind handing me the barbeque sauce?” “ I am starved!”
”Oh,no problem Dave” “You best be havin’ two of those drumsticks, they’re oh-so tiny and there ain’t much meat upon them”
(“What about animal rights, Dave?”)
“Put a sock in it Melvin”
“For years people said you over-rated hamsters were my meal ticket..Now I gues you could just say you are my meal!”
“That was a good one, Dave…I always knew you was the funny one in the group!”
“Damn straight!”

Now I am offering some tasty recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I’m not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks
Screw you

“Haha, did you hear that Melvin? Melvin? Melllllvvvviiinnn?"
“Why, I’m sorry Dave, did you want Melvin? There’s plenty of Thagadore left though…”

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Subject: News from the Homefront...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 07:34:47 12/11/02 Wed

ummm no its not about the condition of my grass.. Dec. 10th and still NO snow in sight.. to much pollution to see that far anyway...

The busing company I am contracted to through our school district is an active fundraiser for the Children's Miracle Network or CMN. CMN provides health care to chronically ill children. They pay the medical bills for surgeries, chemotherapy and organ transplants, etc,irregardless of the parents ability to pay for the treatment. We are kicking off our Christmas fundraising season this weekend BY taking OVER THE DOORWAY WHERE SALVATION ARMY usually annoys people coming in and out of Fred Meyers Department Store. WOOO HOOO!
The manager of the store called and told our secretary that he was getting complaints about Salvation Army and that he thought it was time for some of that money to go to another deserving charity! YES! YES! YES!
I shall be taking my smart little booty down there to help out and hopefully have some fun! I'll see if Siah wants to come along.. those eyes of his could shakedown Scrooge for a shillin or two : )

So if y'all are in the neighborhood DOOOO stop by *wink*

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Subject: Kinda quiet here! Here's something noisy and Christmasy my wife sent me.


Author:
Trevor/TJ
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Date Posted: 20:31:33 12/06/02 Fri

Osama got run over by a reindeer

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Subject: Tis the season...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:50:18 11/16/02 Sat

Ahh tis the season... I saw Salvation Bell ringers yesterday and today. I straight out told one woman yesterday not to contribute to funding hatred. I don't know if the queer dollar campaign will be swinging up again this year BUT I for one will print out my copy of the dollar and go to the print shop and make plenty of copies to distribute..

Did I happen to mention I am feeling all cranky and out of sorts with this season?

Oh well... Happy Holidays to you all! I do love you!

Anyone who needs/wants a queer dollar can email me and I'll send it to you.

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Subject: Not a sight for the weak hearted


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 20:47:46 11/27/02 Wed



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Subject: A new book review


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:06:38 11/29/02 Fri

Since Mitchey is not online tonight......

I read a book called "Tommy's Tale" by Alan Cummings last week. It was a great book and I really liked the blurb on the jacket( Kudos to some poor underpaid copywriter) so I thought I would post it and then some comments of my own. Okay fasten seatbelts!

"Tommy is twenty-nine lives and loves in London, and has a morbid fear of the c word- commitment, the b word- boyfriend, and the f word- forgetting to call his drug dealer before the weekend. But, when he starts to feel the urge to become a father, he starts to wonder if his chosen lifestyle can ever make him happy. His flatmates, the eccentric, maternal Sadie and the stoic, supportive Bobby, encourage Tommy to tone down his lifestyle a we bit and accept the fact that he's got to grow up sometime. Charlie(whose son Finn, is the epitome of childhood charm), wishes Tommy could make a real commitment to their relationship. But can he?
Faced with the choice of maintaining his hedonistic, drugged out and admittedly fabulous exisence or chucking it all in favor of a far more sensitive, fulfilling and - let's face it - slightly staid lifestyle, Tommy finds himself in a true quandry. Though a series of adventures and misadventures that lead him from London nightspots to New York bedrooms and back, our boy Tommy manages to answer some of lifes's most pressing questions- and even some he's never thought to ask.
Perfectly pitched, with scathing witticisms and deadpan observations, Tommy's Tale is a rollicking, tongue-in-cheek opus of absolute debauchery and reluctant redemption thats not to be missed."


Okay my comments: I loved it! I laughed my butt off reading it. The drug use and sexual content make it a definate NC-17 rating. There are some drop dead funny moments in it and I really loved the "fairy tale about risk" it was poignant and I admittedly teared up. There were a couple places at the end that made me if not cry at least sniffle. I highly recommend it.

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Subject: Boo!


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 11:40:12 11/21/02 Thu


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Subject: MMMM My favorite DJ


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 20:01:00 11/12/02 Tue



What a stud muffin!!!!

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Subject: First known picture of Wolfie


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 21:36:20 11/08/02 Fri



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Subject: My hometown....


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 21:33:14 11/08/02 Fri



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Subject: Would I ever do that?


Author:
Wolfie, the innocent mutt
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Date Posted: 18:16:07 11/07/02 Thu





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Subject: You asked for it Granny.. so now you got it!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 17:54:24 11/04/02 Mon

BOOK REVIEW TIME!!


I finished "The Monk" by Matthew G. Lewis today. It is one of the first gothic novels ever written. The Monk was written in 1794 and is surprisingly readable still today.
The Monk is the story of a monk, obviously, named Ambrosio. Ambrosio is a paragon of virtue! At least in outward appearance. He was left in the Capuchin Monastery at a very young age and grew up within its walls. He is admired and worshipped all through Madrid as the most godly person on Earth. It is easy to avoid temptation when there is no temptation around to avoid.

Enter temptation ... in the form of a woman named Matilda.
Ambrosio resists the temptation of a beautiful woman hiding in the monastery who swears eternal, fatal love for him. Well he resists for about 5 pages : ) Ambrosio falls and when he falls he falls HARD!

In my opinion you can't beat these old gothics for creepy. This book has it all! Sex, though not graphic, murder, incest, rape, infanticide....
Criminous monks, evil nuns, and a good massacre of innocents... not to mention a REALLY creepy scene in a nunnery burial crypt!

There are two subplots in the book that tie in with the main story. I actually was more interested in the Don Raymond and Agnes subplot far more than the Ambrosio plot but the last 7 pages chilled my blood totally! And the final image of the book was well worth the allergy attack from reading it!

The book is about pride and the mess people get into when they have too much of it. Up to the very last moment Ambrosio is only scared of death because though he knows he has done wrong he is only concerned over himself. Not because he did really horrible things ie. murder and rape, but only that HE is afraid to die in an Auto da Fe. He feels no real remorse for the trail of corpses behind him or the broken lives he has left behind, he only mourns HIS loss of Heaven.

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Subject: Hey, let's all make fun of women!


Author:
Wolfie, the mangy mutt
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Date Posted: 17:19:20 11/03/02 Sun





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Subject: just having some fun...


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 20:47:15 11/01/02 Fri



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Subject: Little Sunday Mornin humor... and I think we all could use it!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 08:04:10 11/03/02 Sun

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19 Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

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Subject: And they call it ... PUPPYLOVE!


Author:
Wolfie, the wanna-be puppy-mutt
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Date Posted: 19:14:17 10/29/02 Tue





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Subject: Hey, who wants to grab my leash and take me home?


Author:
Wolfie, the horny mutt
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Date Posted: 20:42:12 10/25/02 Fri





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Subject: Can't ... stop ... it ...


Author:
Werewolfie
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Date Posted: 19:34:41 10/26/02 Sat





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Subject: The new bathroom sign..


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 21:03:17 10/25/02 Fri



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Subject: "Real Thing"


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 19:23:40 10/24/02 Thu

Arriving for her artificial insemination, Mrs. Aldiss was surprised when the attendant locked the door behind them and began taking off his clothes.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Sorry," said the young man, "but we're all out of the bottled stuff. I've got to give you draft."

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Subject: I read this today...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:34:31 10/24/02 Thu

People talk about that time that Mitchell expressed doubt about the 911 emergency phone system.

Why??

Because there is NO 11 on the phone dial!!!!!!!!!!!













"It was a JOKE!" Mitchell says.

uh huh... But many delight in the notion that he wasn't joking. Such is Mitchell's reputation!

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Subject: And in this corner weighing in at 42 pounds!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 21:28:24 10/19/02 Sat

The Crooked Bookcase's very first PINUP BOY!




Aint he a devil?

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Subject: New look..


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 11:10:34 10/20/02 Sun

I’ve been looking at the Home Interiors catalog. I fell in love with the yellow room they had so, I made this place look like it. What do you think?

Hey Granny! Is this gay enough for ya????!!!????


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Subject: Not my cats hon... they are too lazy even to TRY to take the lid off of the bottle..


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 13:26:54 10/19/02 Sat

Sides Viagra is the ONE thing Brian DOES NOT need!

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Subject: The dirty mind of Johnny ...


Author:
Wolfie, the mangy mutt
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Date Posted: 20:36:45 10/18/02 Fri





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Subject: Granny's post brings up an interesting point


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 09:28:53 10/17/02 Thu

I gave Mitchell the password and access to the forum. This is so he can help me post things, other than I am hopeless at uploading I am also TOO CHEAP to buy webspace just to upload pics.. so I freeload : ) * smooches to Wolfie and Mitchey* Also I thought in case I get sick ( I know Who ME???) and am not online for a day or two or if some virulent form of spam gets posted here and he sees it before I do Mitch can take care of it for me.
Neither of us will be deleting ordinary posts unless the poster requests it. So feel free to bitch or scream or be an ass, no skin offa my nose so to speak. HOWEVER, if you do bitch at me I don't want any hurt feelings when I bitch slap back!


AND will somebody please take those water ballons away from Mitch? And get Jalaki out of the fridge.. I just bought groceries... Happy days! Oh and Greg needs a new pair of sneakers.. he wore his out at the AIDSWALK. WOO HOO!! Congratulations Greg!!!

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Subject: Mitchell, will you please take over the decorating! Kris is hopeless, LOL! I'll take over the kitchen - it takes real homecooking to be really good at being lazy! Hello, everyone!


Author:
Granny
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Date Posted: 07:17:44 10/17/02 Thu


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Subject: *sneaks in the door and knocks a few bookcases over*


Author:
jalaki
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Date Posted: 20:25:44 10/16/02 Wed

IT WASN'T ME!!! I SWEAR! RIGHT SIAH? Hehehehe

KRIIIIIIISSS!!! *hugs* Wassup? Nice place you got here...color scheme takes a little getting used to but hey, I can deal, I've seen much much worse :P

OK so, here's a book series you should read..."The Wheel of Time" by Robert Jordan. Absolute masterpiece in fantasy fiction. As close to perfection as I've ever seen in a series :P Right now we're eagerly awaiting book 10 of the series...and I WANT IT NOW!! HAHA!

Oh and I have a picture for you here that you might like, it's in the reply...

Anyway that's it for me for now. Peace out. Catch ya on da flip side.™

-=jalaki=-
"Why do things happen as they do in dreams?"
The Shoal Isle presents "Gone From Daylight: Moriare"

PS: Oh yeah, you should read that "GFD: Moriare" story too :P

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Subject: Latest picture of Mitchell!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:26:44 10/16/02 Wed





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Subject: New book


Author:
Wolfie, the mangy mutt
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Date Posted: 15:58:43 10/15/02 Tue

I just started a new book.
"Timeline" by Michael Crichton. It started pretty promising, and the story (at least so far) takes place in the Arizona desert.

I got the book from the sister of a friend. She also gave me a t-shirt that says "I used to be Snow-White, but I drifted". I don't know what to make of that, after all I'm sweet and innocent!

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Subject: Aw, look, our Dragon Lady is reading to her little tyke!


Author:
Wolfie, the mangy mutt
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Date Posted: 21:44:30 10/13/02 Sun





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Subject: Some humor for the weekend...


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 21:31:57 10/11/02 Fri

For all of you who skipped over Exodus to get to the Song of Solomon...



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Subject: HELLO!!!!


Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 19:45:23 10/09/02 Wed

And welcome to this place. Its a bit sparce right now but we'll do a raid on the DI, for you non Utahns that is a thrift store, grab some pillows, a rocker and a comfy old sofa!
I plan to, goddess willing and the Lake don't rise, to post pics here periodically and book reviews. Feel free to post recommendations for WHAT I SHOULD be reading.
and I wanted some place I felt safe to post nonsense and feeling when I feel down. Feel free to do the same....

Oh and beware of the water balloon fight in the kitchen.. I tried to take the ballons from Mitchey but he is bigger than me...

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Subject: I never said I was too proud to steal someone else’s joke!


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 21:48:26 10/12/02 Sat

Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their eldest sons. The first man told the others, "John is a home builder. He's been doing really good. In fact, he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free. Can you imagine haring that kind of money to just give a house away to a friend?"

The second man said, "I know what you mean. I keep telling my Mark to save for a rainy day when he was a car salesman, and now look at him, now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's the same way. He's so successful that he gave a friend a Cadillac last year."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son Brad is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave a friend of his an entire stock portfolio. That boy is a real go-getter."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is your son doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, Scott is doing very well but his mother and I just found out that he is gay."

The three men exchanged looks and the fourth man shrugged and said, "What are you gonna do? I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a car, and a stock portfolio."

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Subject: Ok, here's what I'm reading at the moment (I'm almost finished with it):


Author:
Wolfie, the mangy mutt
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Date Posted: 09:26:37 10/10/02 Thu

Douglas Adams: "The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"

For those of you who never heard of Douglas Adams, he's the guy who created "Dr. Who"

"The Ultimate ..." is the collection of all 5 books about the adventures of Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect, and it originally started as a play for BBC radio.
It's SciFi, and it's absolutely hillarious. You will laugh your asses (are we allowed to say ass here?) off!
And you will finally find out what the answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe and everything is!

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Subject: What I am reading? And a big HELLO!


Author:
Gene
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Date Posted: 18:38:48 10/10/02 Thu

I am of course reading HP fanfic... and very glad to say hi to Kris and my ether-nephew. Hey!

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Subject: YoooooHoooooooooooo!


Author:
John Melville
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Date Posted: 22:48:48 10/09/02 Wed

ATISHSHOOOOOOOOOO!:=))) Sorry, the paint is still wet around here! Well Kris! Nice shade of, what do you call that colour, Dear?? Is that still fashionable??

Please point me to the books, I have brought my crayons, specially! (Well, the ones I have not eaten!:))))

Well, it all looks rather cozy!(heheheh! From Crzy house to Cozy house! LOL!!) So, "Long may your lum reakie"!

For ages I have been URGING you to read a novel by Doris Lessing, title :Schikasta, sci-fi, philosophy, comparative religion, history, is all in this life-altering book which begins a series of five! Would the person who borrowed my set PLEASE return them! heheheheh!

Love you!

Huggies

jon

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Subject: Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: 19:18:49 10/08/02 Tue

I'm the first to post!!!! neaner neaner neaner!!!!

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