View From a Flying jimmy -- The Fatted Calf

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Subject: View From a Flying jimmy

Author:
Heartstarter

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Date Posted: 23:40:26 10/12/03 Sun
Author Host/IP: cache-mtc-ah03.proxy.aol.com/64.12.96.168

Listen: hounds loose their run trill reveille behind the lines of white pine and cedar and elm that guard my seclusion.

I pretend I'm dreaming -then I am- waltzing with Jane
barefoot and ballgowned through a wood: music howls
somewhere beyond the grey, somewhere in the black.
So I oversleep and wonder when I wake why my feet are ice.

I fly to work down backroads that turn suddenly
into streets miles from my driveway graveled and
tucked between menacing rows of black-hulled pecans:
they bear on the third year and I keep their fallen ancestors packed naked in blue tupperware tubs stacked
in my freezer.

The cockpit of my jimmy is strewn with dead coffee cups.
Jack-in-the-boxes lay discarded and dying on the floorboards -similar slaughters of necessity- ketchup clotted to their sides. Last month's cable bill flaps under the visor like a battleflag.

Tobacco whips by on the left and on the right so fast each leaf on every stalk stands out in surreal bas-relief.
I taste the sharp and bitter tang of suckering plants:
it reminds me of my father's pall malls and politics and
the smell of money seeded from blood.

Barn swallows rise -in lazy tourbillions- from the fields their beaks and bellies full of yellow and green hornworms.

I wing past Buck's BBQ Pit (You Can't Beat Our Meat)
-past Lucy's Do-Lounge where the girls serve more than shots- past Big Jim's Quick Mart: the stoner kid who pumps gas raises a hand in reflex. I don't wave back in sympathetic apathy.

Most mornings I stop to kill coffee cups but today I'm late.

Tenant houses rush by on either side, their concrete blocks painted with Kudzu and mildew: I think of abattoirs and
oubliettes and other inevitable exits. Children and dogs and cheap molded toys from the plastic plant over in Elroy dot the tiny dirt yards -little boys and little girls stand in stagnant ditches chunking rocks at death while their mamas are inside fucking the mailman or watching General Hospital on TV.

I see slideshow flashes of their faces and I hope I don't have to come back out this way: scrape them up, heads
cracked open, futures frying on asphalt like so many eggs.

I pass the city limit sign -some of the holes are mine-
ringed in rust and canted to one side. Courthouse looms right, county buildings lurch left and blocks ahead day meets night where tracks split the city: segregation in wood ties old as time.

I pull into my lot -number six, section twelve-
filled with cars and trucks and bikes but I am the only flying jimmy. Everything ticks: engine, watch, pulse -alpha papa charlie- the people that mill outside my windshield tick with tension.

I want to turn the key, turn around, turn into my driveway where squirrels sit stuffing my sweet meats in their jaws: instead I clinch mine -name rank serial number- open the door and step out.

Listen: animals sprung their cages snarl in angry unavoce
behind walls of brick and steel and glass that guard nothing.

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